I’ve heard it explained that “hey” used to be more of an urgent way to get someone’s attention, rather than a casual “hello” like it is now, so it sounded rude to some older folks.

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    Teachers in 2023: “NOOO you can’t end your sentences with ‘fr fr nocap skibidi’ those aren’t even real words!”

    2033:

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    When I was a waiter, there was no shortage of boomers getting genuinely upset with me saying “No problem” as a reply to “thanks”.

    • edgemaster72@lemmy.world
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      I prefer to say no problem over you’re welcome cuz it always (to me) sounds sarcastic/disingenuous when I say you’re welcome

      • Captain Aggravated@sh.itjust.works
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        It’s like this:

        You have a boss. A wrinkled plus-sized brown business jacket of a man whose idea of “cutting costs” is turning the air conditioner off. If he caught on fire, you wouldn’t piss on him to put him out. How do you address him? “Good morning Mr. Perkins, how are you doing today?”

        You’ve got a war buddy. You met at boot camp, you served in the same company, he splinted your leg in the field, you’re his kids’ godfather. You’d kill and die for this man. How do you address him? “Ah god not this fucking asshole again.”

        Official formal polite language like “Thank you” and “You’re welcome” is the pair of nitrile gloves I put on to handle the really noxious shit that comes my way. “w’thanks man” and “no problem” means I’m willing to handle you with my bare skin.

      • EtherWhack@lemmy.world
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        “No problem” also carries the implication that the favor was taken and done without ill will, where “you’re welcome” carries one of superiority

        • SuckMyWang@lemmy.world
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          I like to say no problemo. It suggests that the favour was done with a touch of Mexican

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            Well one would expect it at a five star restaurant, but not your local dive. So… kinda…?

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              I thought it was every day life politeness, but I am not native. I would rather expect “the pleasure is all mine, sir” at a 3 Michelin stars restaurant.

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                To me “you are welcome” comes off as taking credit for something minor and expected. No problem does the opposite. I prefer when people say no problem generally over you’re welcome. And that’s why it’s become more common in a day in age where people are expected to be less servile.

                • Cracks_InTheWalls@sh.itjust.works
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                  Question for the Spanish speakers in the room: Is there even another term equivalent to “you’re welcome” other than de nada that people actually use? Not super familiar but Spanish seems like a language where “it’s nothing” or “no problem” has almost completely replaced other phrases responding to thanks.

                  Asked honestly and noting cultural differences that may apply here - could be there’s a more formal “you’re welcome” Spanish phrase and I’ve just never heard it. 'Cause, you know, I don’t live in a Spanish speaking place.

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      Ugggggh I went through this with my (boomer) boss for years until she finally accepted it lmao. Then it was, “WORRIES, CaptFeather! WORRIES!” as a joke every time I said it lol

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        Nobody expects online gaming to be a bastion of proper grammar.

        People type in abbreviations when gaming mainly due to lack of time though… Much better to focus on the game than typing more than necessary to convey a simple message in those cases.

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        I only ever did that when typing via controller. If I had a keyboard I used full sentences but quickly. Sometimes the speed meant lack of proofreading though and weird things have been said.

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        Absolutely. I could understand it if it was a formal dining place I suppose. But it was a fucking Applebee’s in a 20k population town with one other restaurant lmao

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          Applebees is Sit down McDonalds with better food. If one of your seating option is at the fake wood bar its not fine dining.

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            A family member of mine briefly worked at Applebee’s. Literally everything is microwaved. I happened to get a Fettuccine Alfredo there and have one of the Marie Calendars frozen Fettuccine Alfredo meals (>$2 at the store) in the same week and realized once its plated you literally could not tell the two apart. Same quality, same quantity, but the store bought meal costs 1/5 the price and is somehow ready faster

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        “No problem” takes “You’re welcome” and implies that it was of no inconvenience to you either. But I understand that older generations find it important that service workers be most humbly at their service, and adhere to a strict social etiquette just short of “Yes, m’lord” and “Shall I suck upon your dick, sir?”

        “You’re welcome” is more appropriate in a professional setting, but if you’re getting your jimmies in a rustle over someone saying “No problem” to you instead, you’re a bit of an assfuck.

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          If you are a service worker at a restaurant, then that is literally your job, to serve.

          I love it when I order a sandwich at my local banh mi place near my office and you can see the cashier literally eye roll every customer that orders. They can’t even look you in the eye…

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            I don’t think either phrase is impolite. Good manners are a made up thing. If someone said ‘thanks’ to me and I said ‘tiddle dee dee’ I’m not being rude, just a bit weird, nobody’s honour has been questioned, I haven’t said anything that could be taken as an offence.

          • ImFresh3x@sh.itjust.works
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            It’s literally meanings of words strung together being described.

            You are welcome = you are welcome to my servitude

            No problem = I don’t mind doing this thing for you

            Oh you. 🤦‍♀️

            • Ramόn Sánchez @lemmy.world
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              Which is fine if you’re just chatting amongst your friends. Unfortunately, that’s not what this is about.

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            They literally don’t (with the possible exception of onomatopoeic words), one of the defining factors of language is that it is arbitrary.

            • Ramόn Sánchez @lemmy.world
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              It’s obviously arbitrary, given how we’re changing the meanings of words to fit the current narrative, but that doesn’t change anything.

              It kills me, that zoomers and young millennials think that it’s the older generation that’s the problem, rather than the generation complaining about how another generation reacts to certain words in certain atmospheres. If you can’t understand why they react that way, maybe you should be looking in the mirror instead of criticizing them.

              • idiomaddict@feddit.de
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                This is an old pattern, language changes. You can react to it however you like, but things have already changed in your lifetime. Wicked or hot, for example,

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        And why do people need to pander to you specifically? Cant people be themselves?

        Those are narcissistic traits.

        • Ramόn Sánchez @lemmy.world
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          Who said anything about me, specifically? Saying “no problem” makes you sound insincere or that the task the customer asked you to do, was literally no problem and that’s the only reason you complied. There are all kinds of ways people can interpret that, but only one way to interpret “you’re welcome”.

          I’m not going to say anything if you say that, but don’t act surprised when older people aren’t as forgiving.

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            only one way to interpret “you’re welcome”

            This is just wrong. Tone matters just as much with “you’re welcome” as it does with “no problem”. Language is fluid like that, and it’s completely arbitrary to elevate one of these expressions over the other when both are in common usage.

            Also, you’re deliberately misrepresenting what “no problem” means, in regards to “that’s the only reason you complied”. Nobody says it that way, and I don’t believe that you think they do.

            • Ramόn Sánchez @lemmy.world
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              Using semantics to make your point, is lazy and misleading. Of course you could say “you’re welcome” in a tone that could be taken as rude, but that wasn’t the point. The point was showing the difference between the two phrases.

                • Ramόn Sánchez @lemmy.world
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                  I don’t think you understand what that word means. If you’re being waited on and paying good money for it, you would prefer to hear your server say “you’re welcome” rather “no problem”.

                  If you’re socially inept, it’s not surprising if polite traditions are lost on you.

          • schmidtster@lemmy.world
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            If someone says you’re welcome, you know they are a corporate drone and management wants them to say that to avoid certain people making a scene. Why’s it insincere to say no problem? In the same vein, they only said you’re welcome because they are complying too.

            There’s no issues with saying no problem unless you want there to be. Those are cool workplaces.

            • Ramόn Sánchez @lemmy.world
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              I just pointed out the problem. That phrase can interpreted many ways. We are also not talking about office buildings, we are specifically talking about the hospitality industry, where the language you use makes a significant impact on the customer’s experience.

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                And so can you’re welcome. So why does it matter which phrase if both can be misconstrued?

                Language matters everywhere, who mentioned anything about an office building?

                And the only issue is you taking offense, there’s plenty of people who have no issues with no problem, but take offense from you’re welcome. Why is everything about you….?

                • Ramόn Sánchez @lemmy.world
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                  I’m not taking offense, I’m just trying to help y’all understand why using the term “no problem “ versus “you’re welcome”, in a hospitality setting, is wrong. If you fail to understand why, that’s your problem.

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            The implication is that a problem was assumed until “no problem” was stated.

            “No problem” is absolutely low key rude.

            • mriormro@lemmy.world
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              To me, ‘No problem’ is just short for something like “oh don’t worry about it; it was really no problem at all and I’m happy to help”.

              Colloquialisms are fun like that.

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                The context in which the listener is expected to comprehend communication is important if the speaker hopes for the intended message to actually be communicated.

                If the speaker chooses to ignore how the listener is expected to perceive their communication then I’d say that actual communication was never truly their intent… seems more like linguistic masturbation to me.

          • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
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            Your feelings are valid and real. But as a society, the new standard is that there’s no difference. If you decide to catch up, it will lead to much fewer hurt emotions.

              • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
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                Just because you’re confident in your feelings and opinion doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t hear it. To never get external validation is a lonely horrible existence.

                • Ramόn Sánchez @lemmy.world
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                  I crave validation from people I respect and love, not from strangers on the internet. Maybe I should’ve been clearer.

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    I’m glad that the attitude that if you don’t speak “correctly,” then you are not worth engaging with is dying out.

    Well, on the grammar front, anyway.

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      I’m glad the “not worth engaging with” attitude is dying out, but I do still think it’s important to push for people to communicate accurately and effectively, which includes understanding and following grammatical rules when needed.

      Language and vocabulary are essential to how we think and collectively problem-solve.

      • Mr_Blott@lemmy.world
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        Yep, I get the “Language is constantly evolving” argument, but if I have to read your sentence three times just to parse it because you were too lazy to press a few keys, I’d consider that disrespectful to whomever is reading your comments

      • Transporter Room 3@startrek.website
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        The point of language is to communicate information.

        If the information was successfully relayed, the language exchange was successful.

        If the person knows you MEAN “hello, I would like two of these items here, thank you good sir. hands cash and cashier says thank you You’re welcome. Have a pleasant day, sir” when you SAY “Sup, two please. Thanks man. No problem have a good one.” then you have successfully languaged.

        So when my wife with a plethora of issues involving word recall says some insane thing because she can’t remember the right words, as long as I understand what she means, her language did it’s job.

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      I think they are finding that they will be lonely if they want to continue to follow that path.

    • lugal
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      It should of died out long ago and on the side of academic linguistics did, but on the internet sadly not so much

        • lugal
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          Because these who feel hurt by this deserve to be hurt. No tolerant for intolerance

      • dustyData@lemmy.world
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        There’s descriptive and there’s prescriptive linguistics. The first is the scientific endeavor of finding out and explaining how a language works. The second is the realm of anal politicians from the colonialist era who used language as an oppression tool to suppress local cultures and force the hegemonic culture upon indigenous people to make it easier to dominate, eradicate and subjugate them. Currently regarded as one of the defining elements of Genocides. For examples see, Spanish, French, English, Russian, German, Dutch, Portuguese, Mandarin … well you get the idea.

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    “Hej,” pronounced “hey” is Swedish for “hello.” Also “Hej hej” these days if you want to be more casual. It seemed weird to me at first, like “Hej mormor,” for “Hello, grandmother,” seemed informal, but if I said, “God afton,” (good afternoon) my cousins said I sounded like a government issued language tape.

    • Firestorm Druid@lemmy.zip
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      Probably not a super accurate representation of Swedish language, but it always brings a smile to my face to hear Brigitte’s “hej hej” and other voicelines in Overwatch

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        From what I remember Brigitte’s voice is quite good, maybe a slight Disney princess tint to the voice, that I find a bit misfiting, but that’s about it. Her Swedish however isn’t bad at all.

        • Antik 👾@lemmy.world
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          Her Swedish however isn’t bad at all.

          Probably because the VA is Swedish. As with all characters in Overwatch they use native speakers. So English is actually their secondary language.

          • SgtAStrawberry@lemmy.world
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            Yeah I know, if I read the IMDB page right she was also the Swedish voice of Kim Possible. Which made me even more confused over the Disney princess tint in her voice, but I might not remember Kim’s voice to good, or she managed to not have the tint back then.

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    In the nineties, i had an old guy respond “‘Hey’ is the first stage of horse shit.”. I still use it to this day.

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      that’s so much better. I’m 100% incorporating that into my daily phrases

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    Was there really a cause behind that? I always thought it was people just being silly.

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        That is how I always perceived it. I can’t even imagine someone saying that with a straight face as a correcting rebuke.

        • Spendrill@lemm.ee
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          It does, and if there is a recorded version at that date you can bet it had been floating around for longer than that. Reason I said 50’s is because that was when my parent’s generation were in their young adulthood which if you think about it is where all these catchphrases really set up home in your brain. The other thing, now I think on it, is that it wasn’t said as a response to ‘Hey’ as a greeting it was always said to stop the somewhat Cockney way of indicating you hadn’t heard. What they wanted you to say was ‘Pardon?’ or even ‘I beg your pardon?’, they didn’t like ‘What?’ all that much and couldn’t abide ‘Eh?’ or ‘Ay?’ So it it was usually more of that same ‘Don’t talk to your elders like that’ bullshit that all the baby boomers rebelled against.

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    My grandfather used to say that, but it was more of in a dad joke way rather than a ‘you shouldn’t say that’ way.

    • Exactly. I thought it was just a silly joke to open up conversation.

      In Germany we have something similar. Our word for Hey, “Hai” actually has two meanings. Obviously it means “Hey” but also “Shark”

      So it was common to respond with either “Where” or the more famous “Fish”

      If you went for Fish it turned into a silly game of trying to compound the word as much as possible in responses to each other. Usually going like “Hey” “Fish” “Fin” “Soup”. Sharkfish fin soup

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    I remember my mom getting uptight over the word “sucks”, as in “that sucks” or “it really sucked”. Literally everyone was saying it, there was no way I could help it lol

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    In 2005 ‘Hello there - General Kenobi!’ became the acceptable greeting amongst teenagers and old timers. Lets bring it back.

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      My 3 year old daughter has started saying “Hey!” Right before sharing a brilliant idea like “let’s have ice cream for breakfast!” So I’ve started cutting her off with “Hay is for horses” and she just ignores me

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    A few years ago a very boomer gen-xer tried this on me and got very enraged when I would say “hey” instead of “hello {his name}”. At one point even threatened me.

      • Kiosade@lemmy.ca
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        They’re saying the Gen X’er was acting like a Boomer. Which a lot of the older ones kind of are, from what I’ve noticed. They’re almost like “Boomer-lite” in their entitlement and other nasty attitudes.

        • Ramόn Sánchez @lemmy.world
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          I still don’t understand what everyone has against boomers, let alone the forgotten generation. I mean, if entitlement and nasty behavior is an indication of what generation you’re talking to, I would argue it’s the zoomers and millennials that fit that description better than boomers or gen X.

          • drcobaltjedi@programming.dev
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            I would argue it’s the zoomers and millennials that fit that description better than boomers or gen X.

            I don’t know man, I’ve never seen a zoomer yell at a cashier at a big store chain about the prices being too high or them not having something in stock. Boomers on the other hand, I have a number of times. Boomers are also the only people I’ve ever seen get called entitled by not only older generations, but also yonger ones too. Seriously, google “me generation” and see what pops up.

            • Ramόn Sánchez @lemmy.world
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              So, your evidence is purely anecdotal based on your experience, check. My experience has been the complete opposite. 🤷🏻‍♂️

                • Ramόn Sánchez @lemmy.world
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                  Then that’s how I would address it. I wouldn’t make a blanket statement about a whole generation simply based off of my experiences. That’s just silly.