Far more than c/mildlyinfuriating
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“I have analyzed your fecal output and determined that you consumed an excessive amount of beer and hot wings within the last 36 hours.”
Ok, now, who has found all 4 of the hidden figures in the comic? It’s the special feature of Bizarro.
I found three… what’s the fourth one?
Pipe. pie. crown, upside down bird.
if this happened i would shit in a bucket.
Once that frustrates me greatly is eight sleep. My wife had been trying various products and unfortunately eight sleep was the best executed one. But they are openly hostile to local controls.
From the time they have released people have been complaining over and over about zero local controls, suggesting buttons on the base, a remote, or even local wifi or Bluetooth controls and their people keep coming online and patronizing by claiming their engineers are working on it, but it’s hard. Truth is they are passing a fucking subscription plan to use your damn bed.
Finally they came out with their local control “solution”. No, buttons should not be on the base, that would be inconvenient. No, a remote control would be too easy to lose. So they implemented super dodgy earbud type controls, two taps for a tick colder, three taps for a tick warmer. Ok, janky as hell, but finally, local controls. So you get things going and do the tap and long buzz meaning “reject” the request. Turns out the taps will only process if the cloud server says it’s ok, and the bed will usually be “off” and not receptive to taps unless you turn it on via Internet app or you have an Internet arranged schedule that has it on at the time you want to adjust it.
It’s a shame since they otherwise had fantastic execution, but their monetization through an app strategy is maddening. So my home has one cloud based device and it pisses me off.
I’ve never heard of eight sleep and I went to their web site, and immediately the site is super fucking annoying
Now I want to take an eight sleep apart and see if I can lobotomize it…
What a world when you have to mod chip your bed.
It’s gotta be what, a thermostat, a peristaltic pump and a heater/heat exchanger? Replace the brains with an arduino or a pi and a couple of relays.
Ok, sure, why not, but wait, hear me out:
A.I.-powered toilet, on the blockchain, and call it Shitcoin!CrypooCoin
I can’t even piss without logging a ticket with IT…
Who wants to bet that one day this will be real? If not already.
I mean I prefer the motion sensor things when I’m public, but I can’t see how it could ever be smart to get rid of the button. I would be fine with having a motion sensor at home.
The motion sensor on public toilets is fine… and yes, that little backup button is also critical. Getting rid of the button would be beyond stupid… this is because sometimes the motion sensor malfunctions.
As for the stuff at home I am content with the 100% mechanical flush mechanism that I have. Sure it means I need to clean the handle every once in a while, but that is no great inconvenience.
Bull****
I found a “smart” Wi-Fi bulb in the trash and used a throwaway phone to pair it through its app. It was adjustable white and RGB, so I put it in the bathroom and thought I’d trigger it to be dim red (cicardian rhythm, you know) whenever it was night (using a built-in RTC, NTP or light sensor, whatever it was capable of). Well, nope! It only connects to Wi-Fi when powered on (understandable) and only takes orders from an external server god-knows-where, with limited local functionality (party-light cycling, WB matching, optionally remembering the last setting). It does not notify the server when its power turns on (only when switched via app or smart button) so it cannot be configured as a “smart event”. The closest I could do would be to create a time event every minute:
22:00 turn on 25% red
22:01 turn on 25% red
22:02 turn on 25% red
•••
04:29 turn on 25% red
04:30 turn on 100% warm white
04:31 turn on 100% warm white
•••
21:59 turn on 100% warm whiteI’m pretty sure there is a limit to timed actions so I can’t just do it this way. I guess I know why it got trashed while still working as intended.
I’ll be looking into Home
Automation*Assistant and see if there is a compatible firmware to flash on this piece of shit. Or I’ll just use my electrical engineering skills to combine red and orange LEDs into another bulb and give it a separate switch. *(Edit)Maybe that’s why it was in the trash…
Homeassistant? Check !selfhosted@lemmy.world
Yup, that’s what it’s called
My last ISP demanded I use an Eero router that had no web interface, it was only accesible via an app.
My grandma has a mesh wifi thing provided by her ISP and I couldn’t find a web interface on it either. I wonder if that’s why.
Ours is only accessible via the ISPs app, and is only manageable online.
you jest but I recently bought a stove that breaks some UX functions unless you use their fucking app.
I refuse to. fuck em. it does 100% of what I need but that extra 15% would have made it the best ever.
now it gets 2 stars and a bad review for paywalled features.
How sophisticated can a stove be it needs an app?
Also, how did you not catch that before buying?
I have a stove with optional app support, but I tolerate it because the app doesn’t add anything. The local controls can do everything. If you use the app, you have to hit a button on the local controls anyway to confirm you are physically there anyway before it listens to the app for most things.
The only thing that was somewhat convenient was phone notification when timed cooking was done, because the stoves own chime wasn’t that loud. However ultimately I stopped bothering and just set a phone timer when I set cook timer, because keeping the oven on the network was an active maintenance activity that wasn’t worth it.
I wouldn’t even have thought to look. So unless it was prominent in the description, I wouldn’t notice.
Unfortunately, you always have to look now.
And give it a few years and you’ll always have to look for “AI” too. We really are approaching Red Dwarf Talky Toaster territory.
More pixels
And when the company stops wanting to pay the webservice hosting costs, you have to pay the plumber to come back and throw your useless toilet in the trash.
Worked for a company that made a kitchen appliance that had zero buttons. Needed an app. If you unplugged it without shutting it down in the app, it’d send you an alert notification. The app took at least three taps to fucking turn it off.
And the company was paying something like $1MM/yr to AWS to keep this thing running.
An app full of spyware and you still need to allow it to access your gallery, precise location, contacts, microphone,camera
And when the company starts struggling, they’ll start charging or requiring you to watch an ad to flush.
Before they go out of business and brick your toilet.
Big whoop I brick my toilet at least once a day 😎
