Like, why am I here?
For over 15 years now I feel like my life has lost any direction, and this years things had gotten only worse. I could get used to have zero friends and social life, and accepted the fact that I’ll remain eternally invisible to women, call it incel behaviour idgaf, I know women don’t want weak people like me, but that’s me, I won’t change, that’s my nature, my soul… Hell I realised that I couldn’t ever leave my mom’s home because I know I couldn’t live alone…
But now also being unemployed for almost a year now, after leaving my abusive, underpaid job full of bullies and tyrannic boss. Why my life had to end like this? I’m not a good person, I’m aware but I’ve seen awful people with money, women, married and kids, car, with their own house… And I can’t get a single thing? If I going to suffer like this until I get old and truly completely alone and homeless I’m better dying of a heart attack now.
Please, don’t give me advice (oh you need to fight, you make your own life worth it, self fulfilling prophecy) I’ve heard all that before and it won’t help me. I just needed to get this thing out of me, my “real” life is over.
And please don’t try to be a bully here. My comment is about my life, it shouldn’t bother you in any way.
Seek therapy.
Nothing will help you because you don’t want to be helped. So you just want to throw a pity party then.
No I don’t.
How would you describe this series of posts then? You don’t want advice, and seemingly don’t want to change anything at all
Just my life. Let me be, I’m not forcing you to read anything, and this is about me, why are you acting hostile
Nothing I said was hostile. If anything it’s simply direct.
I didn’t use any insults or suggest you are wrong, I asked you to clarify why this is posted on a “conversation” forum
Edit such a post draws people in to offer advice or learn more about your situation. It’s just confusing to people why you post in an advice style way, but don’t accept any of it
Literally the first thing that I asked is to not give me advice
And I haven’t.
Edit I clarified to you that such posts draw people in to advise. That’s just how it is.
I also asked what your objective with these posts is because every reply to everyone is dismissive, as if you want zero replies at all
If you noticed I only replied to the people trying to give advice
Find a way to make the world you leave better than the one you entered. That’s it. It can be something small or it can be something big. If you’ve already made it a little better, try to make it a lot better.
Therapy and medication can help a lot, too, but if you’re determined to go it alone, that’s my advice.
Exactly. If one’s life feels meaningless then grab a bag and go out picking trash and then come back telling me how that didn’t make you feel a little better about your existence. I’ll gurantee it will.
I had a job as a janitor. No it’s doesn’t make your life better.
Why should there be a point or meaning to life? I can’t even imagine what that point would be or who demands it. It doesn’t matter how successful someone is. One day they’ll die, and in a few decades, nobody will remember them anymore.
Life is a sandbox game. You spawn in, and the timer starts ticking. You can spend that time doing whatever you want. If you want to spend it in your mom’s basement filled with self-pity, then that’s what your life will be. It’s your game; you’re free to play it however you want. It’s no different from Minecraft, really. If you’re not motivated to start punching trees and build something great because “there’s no point,” then have at it. Meanwhile I’ll be building this massive castle over here, which I’ll never finish, but that’s okay because it’s all about the journey, not the destination. Life is now.
I’ve been in a similar position and I’m in my early 40s now. The best advice I can give is live out of spite. The reality is that your job, sexual endeavors, and achievements are ultimately meaningless. So much of it is just material things we can’t take with us. So much of this is requires gradual, iterative change.
- Working out makes you feel mentally better
- Which can lead to being noticed more
- Which can lead to increased confidence
The cycle continues. All of it starts with you though. The earth is a beautiful place even if humans are endlessly petty, materialistic, and self-centered. Even if you spent your day walking around your city, that’s a step in the right direction.
I know you didn’t ask for advice and I understand. That’s why I’m trying to put thoughts here that are not comprised of the same old 2-dimensional feedback you might receive off the cuff in your lifetime. Life is hard. It just is. I was laid off for 3 months and that was miserable. I lived with my family into my early 30s because I was a struggling graphic artist in a shitty town where pay was scarce.
But the things that pulled me out were:
- Spending my nights teaching myself how to code (can be done on even the cheapest of laptops)
- Forcing myself to not give a shit about what others were doing
- Forcing myself to get outdoors and remember that the world is vast and we’re all derived from space dust
Life can suck for a long time, so you have to find the bright spots. Even if it’s something like “I saw a cool bird today.” You need those little jump off points to spark interest.
I still struggle constantly, but I always try to remind myself that life isn’t a race and at the end of the day, so much of the shit we’re expected to care about is just meaningless. That’s not a bad thing. It can be freeing. Breaking the cycle of depression is tough and can become an endless circle. The only one that can break it is you and you alone. When it comes to your own life, you are the one part that truly matters. The rest follows with time.
But I am materialistic. I want a lot of things. But I don’t have the drive or talent to get those things. I wish I was born rich. And I’ve never cared about my look. I’ve done work out before, I’m not doing it again. If I’ve seen people that are ugly and overweight with attractive women and kids, then that means your look is worth nothing.
Imagine how the rich and miserable feel when there’s no longer even the fantasy of becoming rich and buying all the things they dream of. Life is inherently unsatisfactory. I too used to tell myself a story about how I’ll just need a girlfriend, a house, a nice pickup truck and few years worth of savings and then I’ll be happy.
Now I have all those things and I’m still unhappy.
“When I was 20 all I wanted was a million bucks. Now I have a million bucks and all I want is to be 20 again”
I can’t be 20 anymore. Just give me the money and I can buy me a family
You just claimed to be a realist. Does that sound realistic to you?
Of course not. I’m not expecting anything from you.
What even is the point of this thread? It’s like not eating and then complaining about being hungry. Your life is exactly what is to be expected based on the effort you put into it.
One day your mom will die and then you’re all alone because your cynicism and self-pity has pushed everyone away from you. You can blame the universe for it all you want but the truth is that it’s the life you designed. Things wont get any better unless you decide to start making them so.
I don’t think you understood.
deleted by creator
Just random chance so stop thinking about the why.
I don’t think there’s an answer. We show up, we make the world a little better or worse for a short time, and then we’re gone. In 120 years it will be all new people. I don’t know what my job here is - feed some cats, ‘save’ a couple of dogs, help a few kids? Some people are driven to achieve. I’m not. I work for money and because it’s expected. There’s nothing I do that someone else couldn’t step in and do as well or better. Some days are more fun than others but i rarely feel any sense of accomplishment. I do make a point to tell my family that i love them every day. It’s something i wish i had started before my mom passed.
After a bad argument many years ago my husband said, “i don’t know why i get so angry. I’m done making the people i love cry.” From that day he changed his outlook. So, i guess my best advice is to do what you want, help when you can, and try not to hurt the people you love.
Weird ending, but have you tried gardening? I’ve met several people recently who really, honestly enjoy growing things - tomatoes, peppers, whatever.
I’m not a spiritual or zen person. I’m a realist, plants won’t help me at all.
You’re a cynic, not realist.
Hey mate kind of seems like you need a friend to talk to an just let it go. Please let me talk to you so we can get a conversation going . Because by your post you have not had anyone offer you that but I am here and all is ok in my book. Not calling you stupid but don’t do anything you are going to regret. Much love mate and I hope this message finds you in Ernest.
