Like, why am I here?

For over 15 years now I feel like my life has lost any direction, and this years things had gotten only worse. I could get used to have zero friends and social life, and accepted the fact that I’ll remain eternally invisible to women, call it incel behaviour idgaf, I know women don’t want weak people like me, but that’s me, I won’t change, that’s my nature, my soul… Hell I realised that I couldn’t ever leave my mom’s home because I know I couldn’t live alone…

But now also being unemployed for almost a year now, after leaving my abusive, underpaid job full of bullies and tyrannic boss. Why my life had to end like this? I’m not a good person, I’m aware but I’ve seen awful people with money, women, married and kids, car, with their own house… And I can’t get a single thing? If I going to suffer like this until I get old and truly completely alone and homeless I’m better dying of a heart attack now.

Please, don’t give me advice (oh you need to fight, you make your own life worth it, self fulfilling prophecy) I’ve heard all that before and it won’t help me. I just needed to get this thing out of me, my “real” life is over.

And please don’t try to be a bully here. My comment is about my life, it shouldn’t bother you in any way.