Sopuli
  • Communities
  • Create Post
  • Create Community
  • heart
    Support Lemmy
  • search
    Search
  • Login
  • Sign Up
RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 6 months ago

Trump Admits Relationship With Epstein Severed After Dispute Over Dibs On Ivanka

theonion.com

external-link
message-square
27
link
fedilink
519
external-link

Trump Admits Relationship With Epstein Severed After Dispute Over Dibs On Ivanka

theonion.com

RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 6 months ago
message-square
27
link
fedilink
PALM BEACH, FL—Asserting that the pair had not been close “for decades” prior to the financier’s death, Donald Trump admitted Friday that his relationship with Jeffrey Epstein was severed after a dispute over dibs on the former president’s daughter Ivanka Trump. “We had a very good time for many years, but it was unfortunately Ivanka […]
alert-triangle
You must log in or register to comment.
  • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    95
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    6 months ago

    Alright. At what point do we admit that The Onion is just serving out legitimate factual stories?

    This absolutely happened, right?

    • drdiddlybadger@pawb.social
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      40
      ·
      6 months ago

      It took me quite the moment to realize this was the onion so likely yes.

      • PunnyName@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        11
        ·
        6 months ago

        I straight up ate the onion this time.

    • Eatspancakes84@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      8
      ·
      6 months ago

      Yes it sounds plausible but the timeline does not add up. When Ivanka was 14 they were still friends.

  • Fuckfuckmyfuckingass@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    56
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    6 months ago

    Damn, got me. Didn’t see the community this was for a sec and it had me going.

    • TachyonTele@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      20
      ·
      6 months ago

      Yup. I bit too. When the Onion is this fast it’s hard to catch them. The Carlson Tucker one almost got me too.

      • athairmor@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        12
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        6 months ago

        This one too plausible for satire.

        • TachyonTele@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          7
          ·
          6 months ago

          It’d be hilarious if Trump publicly denied it, turning the onion into an actual news outlet.

  • apocalypticat@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    43
    ·
    6 months ago

    You can tell this is from The Onion, because their sick relationship probably never soured.

    • tenchiken@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      19
      ·
      6 months ago

      … Because they absolutely would have just taken turns

      • nocturne
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        6
        ·
        6 months ago

        Eiffel Tower or Devil’s?

    • coyootje@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      6
      ·
      6 months ago

      I mean, there was that post earlier today about someone having about 100 hours of voice recordings of interviews with Epstein about shit Trump told him, about the white house and otherwise.

    • Duamerthrax@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      6 months ago

      Supposedly it did, but because Trump kept saying the quite part loud.

  • Duamerthrax@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    26
    ·
    6 months ago

    Hmm, seems about right…

    glances at url

    ah

  • MeaanBeaan@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    25
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    6 months ago

    Well I ate that one.

  • AlecSadler@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    20
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    6 months ago

    DAMNIT. I really ate the onion here. Good job.

    • coaxil@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      6 months ago

      Was literally you comment that made me realise what was going on. Lord everything is cooked ATM

  • Gerudo@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    17
    ·
    6 months ago

    Hot damn this one got me.

  • maurice@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    17
    ·
    6 months ago

    Trump aint sharing

    • PunnyName@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      13
      ·
      6 months ago

      “If I can’t have her, no one can have democracy.”

  • ZC3rr0r@lemmy.ca
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    14
    ·
    6 months ago

    I recently mused that it has got to be hard for the Onion to come up with something these days given how reality keeps catching up to satire, but this headline proves it’s not just hard, it’s downright impossible to satirize Trump.

  • DrSleepless@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    6
    ·
    6 months ago

    I just threw up in my mouth a little bit

    • Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      14
      ·
      6 months ago

      Imagine doing that every day for the next four years. Please vote.

      • PunnyName@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        13
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        6 months ago

        For Kamala, specifically.

  • naonintendois@programming.dev
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    6
    ·
    6 months ago

    Wow I almost fell for this. Sounds so believable in today’s atmosphere.

  • DogPeePoo@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    4
    ·
    6 months ago

    *Not-the-Onion

  • P4ulin_Kbana@lemmy.eco.br
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    6 months ago

    Guys, why are y’all just topping the least funny Onion articles? It’s mostly political stuff ☹️

  • ExtremeDullard@lemmy.sdf.org
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    edit-2
    6 months ago

    deleted by creator

The Onion@midwest.social

theonion@midwest.social

Subscribe from Remote Instance

Create a post
You are not logged in. However you can subscribe from another Fediverse account, for example Lemmy or Mastodon. To do this, paste the following into the search field of your instance: !theonion@midwest.social

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

  • The Onion
  • Clickhole
  • McSweeney’s
  • Reductress
  • The Chaser
  • The Hard Times
    • The Hard Drive
  • The Needling
  • Tattletale Times
  • The Beaverton
Visibility: Public
globe

This community can be federated to other instances and be posted/commented in by their users.

  • 237 users / day
  • 1.95K users / week
  • 4.47K users / month
  • 12.4K users / 6 months
  • 93 local subscribers
  • 6.03K subscribers
  • 1.42K Posts
  • 17.2K Comments
  • Modlog
  • mods:
  • seahorse [Ohio]@midwest.social
  • pbrisgreat@midwest.social
  • BE: 0.19.11
  • Modlog
  • Legal
  • Instances
  • Docs
  • Code
  • join-lemmy.org