every time we go out to eat, I take like two bites and feel like throwing up, and I’m not one to get nauseous easily. this only started when we started dating (wed been best friends for 3 years or so up until that)

its not new food, I’ve been to these places many times before

  • Fish [Indiana]@midwest.socialEnglish
    99·
    2 months ago

    Sounds like anxiety. Mild nausea and loss of appetite are something that I deal with on a daily basis. If you are happy then it could just be nervous excitement, like having butterflies in your stomach.

    • TedZanzibar@feddit.ukEnglish
      18·
      2 months ago

      Yeah, OP didn’t say how long they’d been together but if it’s a new relationship after 3 years of being friends, especially if they’re young and/or there’s been lingering feelings for some time before becoming “official”, then anxiety and nervous excitement is likely to be high!

        • TedZanzibar@feddit.ukEnglish
          7·
          2 months ago

          If nothing else is triggering it then my advice would be to cherish the feeling while it lasts! Go on dates that don’t involve food for a while or stick to lighter food that doesn’t involve sitting in a restaurant to eat. Once things start to feel more normal between you then you can try formal meals again.

          If she’s suggesting restaurants in the meantime then just be honest with her, she’ll likely find it sweet and endearing and it’ll help to calm the nerves.

          • strawberry@kbin.earthOP
            3·
            2 months ago

            maybe you’re right

            thing is well usually spend a good couple hours together and need food at that point

            but well see, might be best to try and avoid food for a bit

            • MutilationWave@lemmy.world
              3·
              2 months ago

              Cooking together can be a fun “date”. Do it at your place so you won’t feel so much anxiety. Or if you need food that badly after a couple hours make some popcorn and eat it while you watch a show or movie.

  • Rolando@lemmy.world
    781·
    2 months ago

    Go to the same restaurants at the same time under the same conditions (i.e. how recently you ate another meal, day of the week, the weather, etc.) but with a different person and see if you still feel ill. Vary the conditions until you find one that correlates with your illness. Then try altering that condition.

    If you feel ill under all conditions then see a doctor. In fact it might be good to make a doctor appointment anyway.

      • intensely_human@lemm.ee
        233·
        2 months ago

        Then journal. Dump your thoughts onto paper, consider and reconsider. Just write out what you think. It can be a text file, a paper notebook with pen, whatever. Just write a lot.

        • strawberry@kbin.earthOP
          9·
          2 months ago

          yeah that could help, I’ve just always been a “bottle it up and call it a day” kind of guy

          dunno, my mental health has been improving now that I’m out of school honestly so well see

          • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
            72·
            2 months ago

            Don’t bottle it up. Decades of experience talking here. Do what you can to come to terms with your feelings, thoughts, etc. Then find a job that has good mental health care and see a therapist.

            Advice: you will likely need to try out a couple before you find the right one. When you’re comfortable with someone, you’ll know.

          • intensely_human@lemm.ee
            51·
            2 months ago

            Except for at the beginning of dinner dates.

            Do you at least acknowledge it’s psychological? That unless she’s dosing your first bite with ipecac, there’s no physical reason to feel nauseous during the first couple bites of dinner dates?

          • Notyou
            3·
            2 months ago

            Don’t bottle up. That was the whole point of Inside Out. You have to experience the emotions.

          • Jimmyeatsausage@lemmy.world
            41·
            2 months ago

            I find it helpful sometimes to write down the negative shit then wad it up and throw it away or burn the paper.

            • nomous@lemmy.world
              2·
              2 months ago

              Seriously, journaling has been extremely helpful, I only started doing it after I started talking to a professional (other than a few classes in school) and it makes our talks infinitely more productive. It really really really helps me organize my thoughts and emotions in a way that just letting the day wash over me and rolling with with it does not.

              You need time to process your thoughts and feelings. You can effectively “mini” counsel yourself just by stepping back and getting a different perspective. Words are powerful things and when you’re forced to slow down and try to summarize the incredibly complex emotional/psychological feelings we all have every day it can help you deal with things and give you insight into yourself, it’s a very powerful tool we can all use.

      • Smoogs@lemmy.world
        5·
        2 months ago

        Nausea is a common symptom. Maybe you haven’t experienced it but it doesn’t mean it’s not a symptom for others.

          • Mr_Dr_Oink@lemmy.world
            51·
            2 months ago

            Whilst i dont agree with them that this is an anxiety attack (although it does sound like it’s potentially related to anxiety or nerves) i dont think it’s fair to put them down for “playing psychic doctor” as you put it.

            OP came to lemmy to ask for people to help them determine the cause of this problem. They are asking people to, at least in some way, “play doctor”

            I k ow there is little information to go on but for all.we know the person your replied to might actually be a doctor and GPs do telephone appoi tments where you tell them your symptoms and they diagnose over the phone.

            This isn’t a far stretch from that. I just think a lot of assumptions have been made here, and therefore, you aren’t much better than the “doctor” you are responding to.

            (Having said all that, they blew a gasket whe you called them out, so perhaps they are a little too sensitive to be someone who needs composure, like a doctor)

          • Smoogs@lemmy.world
            21·
            2 months ago

            Op asked for advice here. This isn’t a free for all to go accuse everyone willing to give advice as ‘playing doctor’. That’s straight up troll behavior.

            • AstralPath@lemmy.ca
              13·
              2 months ago

              What the fuck is up with this kind of behaviour on Lemmy tonight? So many people flying off the handle at the slightest hint of disagreement.

              You need to chill the fuck out. Also, if they’re a world-class projector they should open a drive-IN not a drive-thru. This is cringy ass behaviour. Smh

  • m4m4m4m4@lemmy.world
    402·
    2 months ago

    It’s because you’re pregnant.

    But on all seriousness, some say that there are cases when the would-be-father also feels nauseous with food when the girl gets pregnant.

  • deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz
    35·
    2 months ago

    Anxiety?

    If that tiny idiot of an amygdala in your brain thinks you’re in danger then nausea can be a symptom.

  • ikidd@lemmy.worldEnglish
    351·
    2 months ago

    Maybe she’s poisoning you to get even for not asking her out earlier.

      • intensely_human@lemm.ee
        41·
        2 months ago

        Maybe you’re spending money you shouldn’t. Also, maybe youre spending your heart when you shouldn’t.

        My first thought is that there’s something about those first couple of bites that triggers the anxiety. Could be subconscious (well, it is subconscious currently if you’re unaware of a cause).

        Are there any particular thoughts that occur when the meal arrives? Even thoughts that occur only briefly to be replaced by others?

        • sin_free_for_00_days
          2·
          2 months ago

          This was my first thought. Being pretty poor most of my life, I’ve had that “oh-shit” gut-punch when going out to eat a lot of times. Money problems suck.

    • FaceDeer@fedia.io
      3·
      2 months ago

      Did you sign up for any life insurance policies with her recently? Add her to your will? Is she currently borrowing something and has mentioned “jokingly” about how she’d really like to keep it?

      Not a high probability, mind you, but since the subject was raised…

  • root@lemmy.world
    30·
    2 months ago

    This happened to me as well. I’d take a few bites of a meal and feel full/ nauseous; Sometimes even throw up. It went away after maybe 6 months of dating and we joke about it now 12 years later.

    We chalked it up to nerves, but no one can tell for sure. Best of luck OP! Guessing you really like this person.

    • strawberry@kbin.earthOP
      10·
      2 months ago

      I hope that’s it and it goes away on. its own

      yeah we’ve liked eachother for two years now, but I was too dense to realized she liked me back and she was too shy to say anything lol

      • KittenBiscuits@lemm.eeEnglish
        8·
        2 months ago

        My husband would get wild upset stomachs before we went out on a date. His aunt would tease him that he was allergic to me. It was anxiety.

        I could spend the whole weekend with him in his apartment, and he’d feel fine. It only happened before we planned to go out to dinner specifically. Lunch was nbd to his brain.

        • strawberry@kbin.earthOP
          5·
          2 months ago

          interesting. now that I think about it the less fancy the place the more likely I’ll be okay I think? but imma start taking notes

          but yeah that’s probably what it is

          • Pandemanium@lemm.ee
            3·
            2 months ago

            Really think about what you are expecting of yourself at times like that. Sometimes nice restaurants make me feel pressured to have a good time or otherwise “fit in” with the other people eating there.

          • intensely_human@lemm.ee
            12·
            2 months ago

            Money is a serious thing. If your relationship is going to make your financial life unsustainable, that needs resolving.

        • strawberry@kbin.earthOP
          3·
          2 months ago

          I mean a little, but ive got the money. and she pays half the time and those times aren’t any better so I don’t think its that. I also generally don’t think about money all that much.

  • frickineh@lemmy.world
    28·
    2 months ago

    Maybe she’s poisoning you just a tiny bit at a time. Kidding, but have you guys eaten a meal at home together without you feeling sick?

    • strawberry@kbin.earthOP
      10·
      2 months ago

      not really, she came over once and we ate like polish crepes i made, and that was fine, but not much of a meal, no

  • Guitarfun@lemmy.world
    26·
    2 months ago

    Allergies maybe? Most women use special makeup for dates. It could be something she’s wearing like lipstick. It could be something in the food like peanuts or olive oil.

    • strawberry@kbin.earthOP
      131·
      2 months ago

      no she definetly did, same one as always, and its not strong

      also that would make me nauseous in the car as well, not just when eating

  • morphballganon@lemmy.world
    161·
    2 months ago

    Maybe there’s something you need to get off your chest. Maybe you feel like you’re not being true to yourself.

    If you feel like something needs to change in your relationship, better to put it out there and work through it than keep it hidden.

  • astrsk@fedia.io
    13·
    2 months ago

    Anxiety is a possibility, even if you aren’t actively feeling it. This is a good opportunity to seek help from a professional, even if it’s nothing related to that.