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The secret fourth kind is ‘we applied a standard theory to their map of every tree and got some suspicious results.’

https://explainxkcd.com/2977/

  • Hamartiogonic
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    3 months ago

    Then there’s also the flat-earther style: “We applied a flawed model and flawed methodology to standard circumstances and got the results we wanted!”

    I guess we need a new comic to address all the different kinds of pseudo-science.

  • ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml
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    3 months ago

    What about ‘we applied a standard theory to standard circumstances and somehow the results aren’t right and it’s probably our fault’

    • Hamartiogonic
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      3 months ago

      Business as usual, just another day at the lab. People using actual real world samples instead of the expensive standards to produce a very messy calibration squiggle. Also, the machine probably requires some maintenance from time to time.

    • Cryophilia@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not “Eureka!” but “That’s funny …”

  • The_v@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    The one I see the most is:

    “We avoided any semblance of rational experimental design and got significant results.”

    • Agent641@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      We were awarded grant money from a corporation and got results that are favourable to them but require further grants to really boost that evidence up a notch, wink wink

    • Hamartiogonic
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      3 months ago

      If all else fails, use “significant at a p>0.05 level” and hope no one notices.

      source: xkcd

    • Agret@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      Aka “we applied a standard theory to standard circumstances and got the expected result” - one can argue it does help in a way by providing another dataset although it didn’t really accomplish anything it can be useful for student research projects in that field.

  • Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Content notice on explainxkcd:

    This explanation may be incomplete or incorrect: Created by a DEPTH-FIRST TREE SEARCHER

    😄

  • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Don’t forget “these are novel circumstances and so we attempted something, but really the circumstances are so novel that just documenting them is pretty neat”