• aeronmelon@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    The Japanese say “shouganai” which literally translates to “It can’t be helped.”

    The problem is, 90% of the time, it absolutely can be helped.

  • EatATaco@lemm.ee
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    6 months ago

    I feel like “it is what it is” is too often shit on.

    I had a boss from whom I learned about staying calm and keeping steady course.

    His favorite saying was “it is what it is” and it was always in the context of simply recognizing the reality for what it is, instead of hoping or wishing it was something else or lamenting over how it should have gone a different way. Then, from the point of accepting that “it is what it is” we would focus on how to get to where we wanted to be.

    Sure it can be used dismissively, but I feel like people always just dismiss it as a cliche when it’s actually usually a very good philosophy.

    • Glytch@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      “Though-terminating” is not necessarily a negative thing.

      Like how your boss used it: stop the train of anger and reframe the problem in a more constructive way.

      It’s still terminating a thought, it just wasn’t a productive thought and needed terminating.

      Edit: typo

      • EatATaco@lemm.ee
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        6 months ago

        Good point, I didn’t really consider that it could be used in a good way.

        Although, in my defense, they are using the term cliche which usually has negative connotations.

        • BlanketsWithSmallpox@lemmy.world
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          6 months ago

          I mean even cliches are cliche right?

          So many people just don’t like negative connotation things because they just don’t like their answer.

          Arguing semantics is literally arguing about the definition of a word which is absolutely pivotal when determining stances on things. Arguing semantics is one of the most important things you can do when arguing. There is nothing negative about it.

          Agree to disagree. It literally means you’ve gotten so far along in your debate that you’ve found that rhetorical lynch pin of an argument. It’s where the true disagreement lies. And too many people also think there AREN’T black and white scenarios when you get to them. More often than not, it’s because you’ve narrowed it down to A or B. There is NO other option.

          You either think it’s okay to destroy an embryo or fetus because you’re more important than a long what if, or you think it’s the same as murdering an 18 year old in cold blood.

          You can slowly deprogram some people from those lynchpin scenarios. But it isn’t going to happen when you find it.

          People are not run on pure logic. More often than not they run on what they were born with reinforced through nurture. They need time to change strong thoughts and opinions they’ve held because they’re strong for a reason.

    • spittingimage@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      I had a boss who used to say the same thing. He was telling us “We didn’t set this dumpster on fire, but somehow it’s our job to handle it. No point bitching, so roll your sleeves up and get to it.” I’ve started saying the same thing for the same reason.

      • Klear@sh.itjust.works
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        6 months ago

        Yeah, I have a voice in my head saying that. Not long ago I realised just doing stuff that needs to be done is much faster and less draining tgan figuring out how to get someone else to do it.

    • TommySalami@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      I agree with this. I use the phrase essentially as “this is the reality” to either set a baseline, or just a different way to say c’est la vie. It frustrates me when people say it’s always a dismissive phrase, because when I am dissmive with it I’m not doing so in a negative way. There’s something to be said about letting little inconveniences lie and fade away.

      • EatATaco@lemm.ee
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        6 months ago

        There’s something to be said about letting little inconveniences lie and fade away.

        I absolutely agree. But to go a step further, there is a lot to be said for accepting things as they are. It’s even a core tenant of buddhism.

    • usernamefactory@lemmy.ca
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      6 months ago

      I agree, but I prefer “you have to play the ball as it lies”. It’s a similar sentiment, but more active so it doesn’t lend itself as much to defeatist readings. We can’t change reality, this is the situation we find ourselves in, but yes, we will find a path forward regardless.

    • Dasus@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      when it’s actually usually a very good philosophy.

      Yeah, in an environment or situation where you literally have no agency.

      But most times it’s used in any sort of meaningful conversation about society for instance… then it’s meant as a “thought-stopper”.

    • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      6 months ago

      i have a love hate relationship with that term.

      It’s very valuable in a certain sense, but it’s also incredibly soul sucking if you live your entire life to that concept.

  • Queen HawlSera@lemm.ee
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    6 months ago

    Thought Terminating Cliches can be useful because it is not productive to worry about things over which you have no power.

  • jkozaka@lemm.ee
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    6 months ago

    I feel like “fuck it we ball” applies too. At least that’s how I use it.

  • emptyother@programming.dev
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    6 months ago

    Well, sometimes an end to a discussion is exactly whats needed. Sometimes. Like when theres literally nothing to do about something. Or the discussion is going in circles. Or when it would take shorter time to try it out in practice than have another meeting about the best way to implement it.

    • brbposting@sh.itjust.works
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      6 months ago

      I hear “it is what it is” used as a kind of “it’s okay to move on”:

      A: I hurt my back and had to cancel my vacation.

      B: Oh no, I’m so sorry!

      A: Well, it is what it is. What’s for lunch?

      • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
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        6 months ago

        Doesn’t “table the discussion” rather imply that they’re going to come back to it at some point. I feel like “it is what it is” ends any further discussion on the topic.

        • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          6 months ago

          i would argue that nothing is ever permanently tabled, merely indefinitely paused.

          “had to cancel my vacation” doesn’t mean they aren’t vacationing, they might very well be staying home, and enjoying their time. They might not be doing that, but they might also be planning another vacation later, which i would argue is where it is no longer tabled, at that point.

        • Num10ck@lemmy.world
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          6 months ago

          yes, i was suggesting something different.

          ‘it is what it is’ is a verbal shrug.

  • Thrillhouse@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    I think these phrases can also help if you are a person, like I am, who ruminates in unhelpful and damaging thought patterns.

    Some of us think and agonize too much in an unhealthy way and definitely need ways to shut it down.

    • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      Some of us think and agonize too much in an unhealthy way and definitely need ways to shut it down.

      just blame your parents like the rest of us.

  • ForgotAboutDre@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    “Living their best life” and “Speaking their truth” are recent and annoying examples of this.

    The first is always used to dismiss self destructive or irresponsible behaviour. The second is often used to make a statement that is either false, manipulative, subjective or a combination. Their isn’t a personal truth, there is only truth.