I can’t tell you how much of a breath of fresh air it is after ditching Reddit for Lemmy. In my several days of being here, I have only seen ONE asshole! Versus seeing multiple assholes on Reddit! Crazy right?

But seriously, I used Reddit since 2014. I tried using it for therapeutic conversations sometimes. Like going on r/Offmychest or r/Confessions. As I’ve dealt with a lot of trauma in my own life, done some bad things I’m not proud of and needed to get them out…over on Reddit, I was constantly judged. Even if I showed fucking remorse over my actions and made it clear I’m not proud of what I did, 10 years ago for example. And I’d get called a dipshit and an asshole and I need therapy. (Not that I can afford it) It was never genuine, heart to heart conversation. Now after being here on Lemmy and seeing how many kind and amazing people there are, it’s actually starting to encourage me to try again. Maybe I can actually have one on one honest conversations without being called a horrible person despite me showing remorse. That being said, if anyone could point me in the right direction to an offmychest or Confessions community, or instance, I’d appreciate it.

I guess bottom line, you guys are great. The majority at least. It’s such a breath of fresh air from the toxicity and ridicule of Reddit and I greatly appreciate it. Thanks guys, and keep…Lemmying?

(That’s totally a word!)

    • ewe@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      You can create multiple accounts, but shouldn’t have to as long as the two instances aren’t bad actors. I think this stance is short sighted and lazy from beehaw.org admins. I expect those communities there to migrate to another instance as the dominant community for the topic.

      That’s their prerogative, but it just means I won’t be interacting with communities on beehaw. What’s to say they won’t defederate from the instance I choose for my 2nd or 3rd account in the future?

      • sorenant@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        As you said, it’s their prerogative and I’d add that being able to do so is one of the beauties of the open source decentralized network but I don’t think fragmentation will help the federation as a whole.

      • ConstableJelly@kbin.social
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        1 year ago

        Just to play devil’s advocate, and full disclosure my only Lemmy account is on Beehaw, they’re not doing this out of a sense of judgment, they’re very explicitly trying to create safer, friendlier online community, and since lemmy.world has gotten so big with no signup gate, the moderation policy there doesn’t align with theirs and is beginning to impact Beehaw. They claim this is very hopefully a temporary measure at least until there are more robust moderation tools.

        That being said, I’ll spend a little more time here on kbin to check out the broader community :-).

        • ewe@lemmy.world
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          Yeah, that’s good, but in practice it just cuts off several top 10 federated communities on Lemmy from being able to be interacted with until that’s addressed. I understand it’s temporary and maybe necessary, but if I want to talk tech right now, there’s no where I can go without creating a new user elsewhere and that kind of sucks as a new user on a new platform that’s trying to put it’s best foot forward.

          These are all top 10 communities that now are participation gated to a good chunk of Lemmy’s users. !Gaming@beehaw.org !Technololgy@beehaw.org !news@beehaw.org !linux@beehaw.org !chat@beehaw.org

        • That’s fine but the logical response to that is to appoint more moderators to deal with the influx of new users. Anyone who isn’t a self-absorbed control freak would at least think about doing that. Beehaw admins seem to think they are so special that only they can do a good job moderating their community.

    • patchymoose@rammy.site
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      1 year ago

      It’s a shame, because there are a ton of awesome niche communities on lemmy.world and shitjustworks. I was on Beehaw but I ended up moving to the smaller instance I’m on now so that I can actually access everything.

    • sparky@lemmy.pt@lemmy.pt
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      1 year ago

      Wait what, seriously? This early into the Lemmy saga they cut off the two largest instances from each other? What the hell are they thinking?

      • User Deleted@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        1 year ago

        They claim to be trying stop trolls. I mean beehaw is one of those instances that seeks positivity so obsessively, you could describe it as “toxic positivity”. Basically they treat it like a church. The other main instances aren’t that strict and wont be defederting for no good reason. Also, the defederation could just be temporarily.

        • sparky@lemmy.pt@lemmy.pt
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          1 year ago

          It’s exceptionally selfish to cut apart the community and try to promote your own instance while the Lemmyverse as a whole is experiencing a mass influx of users. This will create confusion and frustration at a time that we should be rolling out the red carpet as a community for the Reddit exodus.

        • goat@sh.itjust.works
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          1 year ago

          Nah it’s because lemmyworld and sh.it kept on criticising the beehaw admins. The beehaw admins really hate it when people dissent against them, they even used to have rules that you couldn’t talk back to mods or ask them to source their claims.

          The whole trolls excuse is weak considering you can view their modlog to see just how little trolls they had to deal with.

      • azuth@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        It was beehaw that did it. Not .world . Beehaw was the second largest instance before the reddit exodus. Second only to the devs’ instance lemmy.ml which beehaw users missed no chance in telling you it’s run by tankies!

        • Piers@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          I just don’t see why any instance with a strong philosophy would think they can exist as the largest instance long term. I’m sure with time places like Lemmy.world that have a broad appeal will become the largest. The only question for instances like Beehaw is do they want to A) have all of their major discussion happen in communites run in other instances? B) Have the major Lemmyverse discussion that most alligns with Beehaw’s core values and message happen on Beehaw where they are able to steer it? or C) be a little insulated bubble that doesn’t really participate directly in the wider Lemmyverse discussion even on topics that matter to them?

          Any of the three are fine choices (I think the best version of the Lemmyverse is option B) personally) but they are a choice they need to be clear on.

          What I’d seen of Beehaw’s own content about what they are, why they exist and what they are trying to do largely suggested they’d be entirely compatible with Lemmy.world so I presumed I was doing something wrong when I couldn’t connect to them from here. If they really just decided to exclude us because we’re growing larger that seems like a mistake. “We don’t talk to large communities” isn’t really a good core value for a community to grow with.

          I wonder if the issue is that Beehaw (I’m told) is careful about who they allow to join and so people who wish to cause trouble there are joining other Lemmy instances, not to participate in those other instances but as a backdoor to using Beehaw disruptively. If that is the case, then Beehaw needs to find a more elegant solution or they will have to block contact with any external instance eventually. (Not to mention it is a great shame to block content with a community based on the actions of disruptive people who aren’t actually part of that community.)

          Edit: having found their announcement post about this (and digging deep into the discussion) it seems clear that the core of what the team at Beehaw actually think is that the current moderation tools within Lemmy are insufficient to allow them to have open federation with open-signup instances and that once those tools exist (which imo is inevitable) they are keen to try to reoopen federation with instances like Lemmy.world that they don’t have any other issue with. They just… Don’t seem to have that as a very clearly focused notion that they’ve effectively communicated. Which is understandable, everyone running these things is a volunteer learning as they go.

    • ccryx@discuss.tchncs.de
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      1 year ago

      they don’t want to deal with potential trolls

      That’s a bit of a misrepresentation. They said that most of their current actual moderating tasks were due to users from the two defederated instances.