• SatanicNotMessianic@lemmy.ml
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      1 year ago

      It sucks that we don’t get to re-roll our character before starting the game.

      And as someone who does not believe that free will exists, I think the only thing anyone has ever done wrong is being born to the wrong parents.

      • mriormro@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Hrm, your first sentence is a little odd there. It seems to insinuate that there’s a desirable ‘roll’ and not one that we learn to love and embrace (as a form of self-actualization). Even though I was born generally disadvantaged that doesn’t mean I’d want to change the person I am since it’s all a part of me.

        • SatanicNotMessianic@lemmy.ml
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          1 year ago

          Judging from the voting, I think it might have confused a lot of people.

          What I was saying was this:

          Literally everything about your life was determined at your birth. If your mother drank, was living in poverty, was being abused in a relationship, and had adequate nutrition and medical care has a huge effect on your earliest formative development. There’s epigeneticic effects of malnutrition of the pregnant mother that last for two generations. You will have a vastly higher probability of drug and alcohol abuse, you are less likely to have an advanced career, you are more likely to be arrested, and the list goes on. All of those things are also influenced by the genes you inherited, some of which influenced your mom’s behaviors that affected you as you were developing. Genes of course influence an incredible amount of what makes you you. They affect your propensity for violence or for pro-social behaviors. They affect how you respond to people, romantically and physically.

          And then there’s the environment you grew up in, which again is a direct consequence of where you were born. Was it in a community of poverty and crime? Were there other kids your own age and safe environments for play? Did they have good schools, or schools at all? Are predatory animals that attack and kill children a large concern? Did you grow up in Texas honor culture where you can’t be gay and if someone calls you gay, you have to fight them to prove you’re not? Did you grow up a woman in a radically religious society?

          It has nothing to do with loving ourselves, for Christ’s sake. It was an attempt at wry humor that was effectively saying that it would have been nicer to be born to Bill Gates than to a single mother in a trailer park. I worked for LGBT rights since ACT UP, and still stayed in the closet for more than a decade afterwards. I’ve been bashed to the point of hospitalization. I constantly advise LGBT kids who come looking for advice to accept themselves and to take their current living situation into account when coming out.

          I don’t mean this in the way it’s normally used, but I’m sorry if you or anyone were offended by what I said. I think that even if you’re not a believer in biological determinism, we can agree that, given the circumstances of our genetic and social histories, there are things outside of our control that could have gone better.

        • SatanicNotMessianic@lemmy.ml
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          1 year ago

          It literally has nothing to do with being ashamed about who you are. You should read my more complete explanation to the other person.

  • AlysonFaithGames@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    Wasn’t said to me personally, but when my mom was pregnant with my younger sibling, she was at church and two old ladies were walking within earshot behind her. They said she should get an abortion because “what if its defective?” I was my moms only child at the time.

    I’m just legally blind in my right eye and visually impaired in my left. And I was 4 fucking years old.

    After my mom gave birth to my youngest (mixed) sibling, one of the old guys at our church asked how she gave birth to an n word.

  • BlueÆther@no.lastname.nz
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    1 year ago

    I’m a white heterosexual guy, Grew up in New Zealand through the 80’s and 90’s - long hair on guys was not uncommon even in small town NZ, and I rocked full head of hair 1/2 way down my back…

    I moved to northern England in 2000, I think I heard all the fag/gay/poofter… terms thrown at me, more often than not with vitriol.

    Ps I finally cut it all off last year after having long hair for around 35 years

    • fleabs@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      As a born and bred Geordie, I apologise on behalf of the northerners. The early 2000s were a pretty shit time around those parts for intolerance. I used to dress “alternatively”, black fingernails, spikey died hair etc. And would get similar slurs thrown my way despite being heterosexual. I no longer live in Newcastle, but it seems a LOT better these days when I visit.

        • fleabs@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Oof! Darlington, or Mordor, as I used to call it, was measurably worse than Newcastle for this! I lived in Ferryhill for a couple of years, so I’m familiar with that area. Definitely low on the list of places I’d recommend moving to in the UK!

          Having met one or two people from New Zealand, you guys strike me as a tough and hardy bunch. If anyone could survive there, yous would have a good shot!

          • BlueÆther@no.lastname.nz
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            1 year ago

            Ferryhill For the first 6 months I was staying in Eppleby, well done if you can place that dot on the map. I must say that a village that small felt very closed off and it wasn’t until moving into Darlo that I felt that I meet ‘real’ people.

            • fleabs@lemmy.world
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              1 year ago

              Got to admit, I had to check the map for Eppleby! It looks tiny, I can imagine that feeling very isolating! I’m still not sure I could refer to the residents of Darlo as “real” people, j/k 😆 I hope your subsequent years in the UK have been more pleasant :)

  • 6daemonbag@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    1 year ago

    Having grown up where David Duke also lives, ambiguously failing the paper bag test, and coming of age during 9/11, I encountered a wide variety of racial insults. Many of them involved the n-word.

    The most memorable one for me happened after the orator learned that I was neither black, Arabic, Hispanic, Italian, nor Asian.

    “Oh you’re Hawaiian? I heard you Island N-words don’t even sing the National Anthem.”

    The other aggressors as well as my friends burst into laughter at how ridiculously stupid his statement sounded. Even his buddy was like, “Hawaii is a state you fucking idiot.”

    The encounter ended and we all moved on but I still laugh when it pops into my head

  • IninewCrow@lemmy.ca
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    1 year ago

    Wagon burner

    I’m indigenous but my younger brother and I used to make fun of it

    We now refer to ourselves as ‘Station Wagon Burners’

  • Blue and Orange@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    When I was like 17, someone on the internet called me “pizza face” for absolutely no reason after seeing a picture of me. I had really bad acne at the time, so my face resembled a pepperoni pizza.

    It’s funny now when I think about it because it was a great insult. But I have to admit they successfully offended me.

  • mriormro@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I was referred to as ‘the help’ once. It was said seriously and the person who said it did not see issue with it.

      • mriormro@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        There’s a lot of historical and cultural baggage with that term in the US. Specifically concerning its use in reference to house slaves and then freed slaves during and after our reconstruction.

          • mriormro@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Oh no worries! I just assume that everyone else isn’t from the US on Lemmy so I try to contextualize where I can.

          • boatswain@infosec.pub
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            1 year ago

            I’m from the US and I’ve never heard of it being super problematic, though I’d consider it a bit dehumanizing to refer to anyone by their job rather than by their name.

  • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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    1 year ago

    Let’s see… I’m a heterosexual white male.

    I’ve been called fa××ot, ni××er, and (for some insane fucking reason) kike. Now, I only put the ×× in those first two because they tend to get filtered otherwise, this is one of the rare instances when the terms are appropriate to spell out, so anyone trying to jump my ass about that is going to be made fun of.

    Now, the fag part, that makes sense because that is something plenty of idiots default to as an insult, and it was most commonly thrown at me when I was bouncing for a few gay bars, so that made sense too.

    But the other two? I’m not just Caucasian, I’m white, as in if I get more than five minutes of sun, I turn red. Almost all fucking irish and German ancestry. We pale, pasty fuckers are about as white as it gets. And it wasn’t just once! Two different times the slur has been thrown at me. Neither time was I even around anyone black.

    And kike? I didn’t even know what the fuck it meant at the time. There was zero jewish presence in the entire county until maybe fifteen years ago. The nearest synagogue is two hours driving away. So, I assume the idiot didn’t know what it meant, or he was an even bigger idiot than using the term in the first place would indicate.

    People are fucking tripping sometimes.

    But you know what has never, ever been directed at me? Honky. Nor has mick or kraut, though I’ve never thought of those as a big deal because both sides of my family laugh at them. It’s just fucking weird to me that the n word in specific was thrown my way twice, by two different adults. Like, I know you’re an idiot because the word came out of your mouth, but wtf? Why that one?

    • NOT_RICK@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      FYI two asterisks is the code to bold text so your comment isn’t rendered as you intended. Took me a second to realize what you meant.

    • Lacanoodle@literature.cafeOP
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      1 year ago

      Ig the meaning really is lost on people, they know it’s a way to rile someone up and don’t care why. Ig thats better than being racist lol

  • Smokeydope@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    The Spanish love to call me a gringo. I mean they aren’t wrong, I’m as white as white gets.

    Its nice to see the air taken out of their sails and face turn red when they find out ol gringo here knows their language and can tell when I’m being insulted to my face, then inform them that they can at least insult me in our country’s language like the rest of the racist whitey hating pricks.

  • Lacanoodle@literature.cafeOP
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    1 year ago

    I’ve recently been called a man whore for the third time in my life which is shocking, thought men weren’t judged for that lol. Funnily twice by men.

    • radix@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      I didn’t know anyone would say that with a straight face. It’s so funny to me to just imagine some grown-up playground-bully type call another grown man a “man whore”.

      • Lacanoodle@literature.cafeOP
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        1 year ago

        It comes as a mild shock to me, since we have a very strong purity culture here. I still have an unflattering tho undeserved reputation.

  • 31415926535@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    Fat dyke. Cracker. Loser. Piece of shit. Failure. Being sexually harassed by guy throwing me against a wall, shove him back, told im a typical snowflake, yet another stupid bitch who can’t take a joke. Get the fuck out , go back where you belong. Was especially fun living in homeless shelter, standing out front smoking a cig, and black guys driving by yelling at me that I’m a gentrifier.

    Homeless shelters are fun.

    • speck@kbin.social
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      1 year ago

      You know, given some of the “jokes” I’ve experienced and witnessed in locker rooms, shoving you against a wall might very well have been in his humor venn diagram

  • magnetosphere@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    I actually got called a “honkey” once. Any other time, I would have laughed my ass off, but this was in the middle of an argument with a coworker. In the moment, it bugged me… but I laughed later. In fact, I’m smiling about it now.