• UraniumBlazer@lemm.eeEnglish
    477·
    8 months ago

    A reminder for the uncivilized savages from a very civilized gentleman with a sweet smelling asshole: WASH YOUR ASS WITH WATER. USE A BIDET OR A BUM GUN.

    Why are Americans okay with shooting up schools but not ok with shooting up their own assholes?! Bum guns also don’t require reloading! You can fire as much as you want! Use Bum guns 👍.

    • dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world
      92·
      8 months ago

      I’m a heavy shitter, I shit alot and I shit so much my ass crack looks like caramelized fondu. When I go outside flys swarm around my ass and get stuck on my sticky ass crack. Everyone would avoid me in the local Walmart when I shop for gaming supplies (Doritos and Dr Pepper mostly). I have difficultly wiping because I can’t physically reach under there and I can’t stand up in the shower. One day my mom told me to lose weight (yeah thanks for bullying me again mom 😒) and I know I’m a little heavy at the moment because I have to use cooking oil to greese up the doorframes so I can squeeze through but that’s only because of capitalism shrinking all the rental apartments and cramming as many people in as possible. Anyway I was playing Amongus and one of my femboy friends told me about bidgets. At first I was like “huh?” and he explained that because he plays Genshin he cannot physically leave the house or bathe and he has a special toilet that cleans his butthole for him. So I ordered one off Amazon and my god it is the best thing ever, now this device shoots water up my asshole and poof! No more shit streaked stretch pants woohoo!

    • 601error@lemmy.caEnglish
      41·
      8 months ago

      If paper is good enough for wiping the shit from my hands, it’s good enough for wiping the shit from my ass.

      • Sneezycat
        41·
        8 months ago

        And this is why I don’t like handshakes.

    • 257m@sh.itjust.works
      1·
      8 months ago

      As a child I was to taught to use a Lota and I have never used anything else. Is that grosser than toilet paper or better?

  • comador @lemmy.world
    283·
    8 months ago

    I love that they took the time to replace the bottle with a TP roll and add the package of TP in the background, but couldn’t be bothered to modify the sign or product description.

    • takeda@lemmy.world
      151·
      8 months ago

      I’m confused. In the description I see Snuggle and the toilet paper is Snuggle. I can’t read the more detailed description due to poor resolution.

    • takeda@lemmy.world
      1·
      8 months ago

      Maybe it was during covid? ;)

      BTW: I love how TP is answer to but cataclysm. This year they’re was extremely rare hurricane coming to Southern California and again saw a lot of carts on Costco with one or two packs of TP day before it hit.