rOzeclawz Follow 2d ago
what the fuck makes phone apps so cocky as to send me notifications telling me to use it. my grocery list app straight up went “you havent made a list in a while!” are you out of your fucking mind. you are a program. why are you speaking to me like youre my equal. i could replace you with a pen and the back of a receipt. idiot. i kill you now
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The only apps that can give me notifications are my messenging app my phone app and my email app. The rest get notifications blocked on install.
DATA me NEED DATA
App developers should learn that the “Maybe later” button makes me delete their app.
Yes or no.
I hate how app send notifications constantly now. It’s gotten to the point where I’ll just uninstall it if it annoys me.
I’ve muted 95% of all apps from being able to notify me.
On top of that I’ll sometimes put them entirely to sleep when I’m not using them. You get zero background privileges. I don’t need you running in the background updating crap, when I only need to use you a few times a year.
I mercilessly block notifications. Especially Uber
“OK, adding pen and paper to your shopping list.”
It’s the only thing worse than getting interrupted using the app asking for me to review it
Three seconds after you start it for the 1st time
I do review them when they pull that bullshit, I give them 1 star.
I changed my first name in part because of this kind of nonsense. In the old days companies would refer to you as Mr. Surname, these days they’re gross and chummy. Stay in your lane, we’re not friends, you can use my paperwork name that I have no emotional connection to.
Hey Flamekebab, why aren’t you meeting your commitment to practice swahili for 40 minutes a day :(
I’m using more and more “master” as a first name online. That helps a lot.
A most excellent idea, my liege.
I’m taking this idea, thank you!
Any app that does shit like that immediately loses notification privileges. At the very least. If it’s something that I don’t need (thanks for reminding me, app), then I will just remove it.
I wish there was a more punitive option. Like, yeah, I disallowed notifications, but I also had a leaky gallon of liquid shit delivered to the CEO’s home.
The most punitive thing you can do is give it a 1 star review.
As it so happens it’s also the nicest thing you can do for everybody else since it makes it less likely people will download that app.
No application should have this privilege by default. I only gives it to apps that can’t work without it.
similar energy:
It makes me more angry that it should that Alexa talks back to me when I ask it to do stuff.
“NOW CONNECTED TO YOUR PHONE!”
YES I FUCKING KNOW BECAUSE YOU MADE THE BEEPING NOISE YOU MAKE AND THAT’S OK BUT DON’T FUCKING TALK TO ME
Your problem is having an Alexa in the first place. That’s a simple fix, though. Your local recycling center will take e-waste.
Yeah, yeah, I know. I need to sort out a different way of doing things.
I have this as a sticker on my water bottle
The only ground i will give in this argument is when my headphones tell me the battery is low.
“Duh bruuthooth bwattery ish wunnin row”
I don’t like those either. I like the tones the airpods use. A single beep has no intrinsic meaning. But the tone it uses for low battery is as intuitive as it can get. Also if you don’t speak English the voice is just as useless as the tone. Especially if it’s something like this.
That said my friend has a headset that announces “mic on” and “mic off” and we get far too much enjoyment out of mocking it saying my cock.
I have never heard the Airpod tone but i would prefer more than a single beep. I worry i would miss it. Maybe a long tone or a series of fast beeps would work well.
Beep once. Do not speak.
That’s definitely an option but i think i would miss it. A series of five or so fast beeps, perhaps.
One more reason why i prefer Open Source. There, apps get made for utility, not for money.
And popularized by utility, not profit or market share
Or ad campaigns! Don’t forget terrible products that are popularized by ads alone!
Turn on “do not disturb” permanently. That’s what I did
Setting my phone to silent semi-permanently was a great decision. The sound of sensation of buzzing has become something I dread. Do not “ping” at me, machine. I will check for messages when I am bored, and no sooner!
The worst are apps that send ads through notifications.
That’s an instant uninstall for me
The worst is when an otherwise great app does that! And they also send really important notifications too, so you can’t just disable notifications!
Many apps have “notification channels” (on android), to customize what notifications you get. You could choose to disable some notifications and keep others.
Are apps able to lie though? Say, by putting ads into the same channel as essential notifications?
Yes and some do it constantly. Other have say two channels and just name them like “important stuff” and “really important stuff” and just mix ads in both.
There was a time, when the Amazon App complained every time you opened it (and every few pages of browsing) that not all notifications were allowed and constantly nagged you to turn them on, if you disabled any categories in the app or notification channels.
Yeah so the feature actually sounds completely useless against a determined adver
sarytiser. At the very least, apps should have no way of knowing whether notifications are turned on, including no means of knowing whether a notification was displayed or not.App stores should also make a policy of banning apps that don’t explicitly keep all their ads in an advertising channel.
Probably yes. But most apps probably behave well
Probably depends on the developer. Friendly independent neighborhood developer? Well behaved. Corporate app developer? Get fucked pleb.
The type of app to send you ads through your notifications are the type that don’t implement this, bundle them with “important” things, or just straight up lie.
Send a bug report every single time it happens.
Issue #363 - My phone notified me about an add
Issue #366 - My phone have notified me about ads twice
Issue #372 - My phone have notified me about ads three times
That’s the good stuff.
Starbucks does it for me. The same notification channel is for orders and “announcements” which is essentially ads
Ya, easy. Stop going to Starbucks. They union bust by closing stores to shit on their employees. Terrible company. If you are a patron of Starbucks, you earned that shitty app and all that comes with it.
You forgot the ones that decide they need to play their own sounds to accompany the notification.
It took exactly one time of the Taco Bell app making my phone do their stupid bong sound for me to swear off taco bell for life.
making my phone do their stupid bong sound
-Rapid bubbling- -Short burst of coughs- “Bruh, we should totally get munchies.”
No, their stupid bong sound. Not a welcome bong sound.
I’m looking at you ESPN
Sometimes I put directions into Maps for a work thing and I have to be there before the location opens to the public and when I put the address in, before it will give me directions, the app says, “HEY, THE PLACE YOU’RE GOING MIGHT NOT BE OPEN, JUST THOUGHT YOU MIGHT WANT TO KNOW, STUPID ASSHOLE.”
It makes me unreasonably(?) furious.
I get this happen to me too, but honestly it feels like a feature that helps more people than it annoys the rest. Even though I’m among those annoyed
It’s like when customer service call centers have 'longer than average wait times" because of “higher than average call volume” all of the fucking time. If it happens all the time, it ain’t higher than average.
The average human being has one breast and one testicle. If you’re closed at night, then all daytime activity is higher than average.
Driving somewhere unknown, I need gas…“hey phone, take me to the nearest gas station” “okay, here’s a tiny list of gas stations to choose from, please click the one you want”
Hands free navigation at its finest.
And then it asks you if the gas station you want is one 8 hours away, instead of the one 3 minutes from your current location. This has happened to me many times.
Maybe you wouldn’t have that problem if you didn’t burn gasoline. Seems like a sensible solution to the safety concern too.
Breh my job involves driving to addresses outside of their normal working hours to the general public . It is so f u c k i n g annoying to have to listen to day in and day out. Same with “traffic is heavier than usual”. Also every. Damn. Day at the same time of day.
“You haven’t given us your data in a while!”
