• southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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    2 months ago

    Did the dad never change any diapers?

    Micropenis is almost always evident from birth. Always afaik, but I’m leaving room for edge cases I’ve never heard of.

    So you’d have to be a pretty hands off dad not to see it, even if it somehow wasn’t noticed or reported to the parents by the doctors involved.

    Edit: also, obviously fake and gay, forgot where I was for a second and was pretending it was real for discussion/entertainment sake.

    • Default_Defect@midwest.social
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      2 months ago

      I can’t imagine most first time parents innately know what a baby’s penis is supposed to look like, is it really that obvious?

      • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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        2 months ago

        Yeah, it’s pretty obvious.

        It tends to happen the most with other atypicalities, but even when it doesn’t, it just doesn’t look right. Humans have certain proportions, ratios, and we can usually tell when someone is off by a fairly small margin. Genitals are no different in that regard.

        You might not immediately think “micropenis”, but you’d be able to tell things weren’t normative.

        Now, it might be pretty easy to shove that aside and assume it would grow later on, and they do. They just don’t grow to normative proportions, they stay micro, just not the same size as they start.

        • somethingsnappy@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          Just another anecdote, but I have 2 boys. I can’t tell if one has a micropenis and the other has a macropenis. One looks smaller than proportional, but not “micro?” One looks, well, otherwise. They are both huge kids otherwise… Maybe they are both near other sides of average, but I’m not spending time trying to figure that out.

          • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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            2 months ago

            Well, if they’re much past infancy, there’s only so much that could be done until they’re adults anyway. Afaik, the kind of hormonal treatments to cause growth work way less past the early years. After that, it tends to need surgical intervention to change, but that’s just based on the last time I was reading up on it, which has been about a year at this point.

            That being said, it’s worth talking to their doctor because the underlying causes can cause other problems that would be better detected early.

            It’s a really simple thing to have checked, it’s just measuring the penis and comparing that to charts. No trauma involved, no complicated procedure, and unless it does point to a formal diagnosis there’s no further action needed.

            It’s one of those things where knowing can give everyone involved time to prepare for anything down the road.

    • IMongoose@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      I don’t think it was that uncommon for a boomer dad to never change a diaper. One of my friends dad was bragging about it and my own dad was a little surprised to see me change one. Luxury of a single income supporting a middle class family of 4 I guess.

      • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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        2 months ago

        Well, considering the is dated last year, I didn’t consider that anon would be old enough to have boomer parents and be coming out late in life, but that is possible. I sometimes forget that my generation hasn’t all come out yet. I’m just so used to the only people coming put in my life being under 30, that it’s become three unconscious association that someone coming out has to be younger.

        You’d think I’d know better, what with seeing the occasional article about someone from my mom’s age range deciding it’s time to transition, and she was at the tail end of the baby boom.

    • naeap
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      2 months ago

      I’m 40 and would have no idea how big penis of a toddler should be - and with all growth hormone stuff happening, I wouldn’t feel comfortable at judging at this age (besides that it is mostly irrelevant in long term relationships)

      Also, my personal penis, so to speak, can be very minor, but as a grower I needed to step up my confidence, when being naked - but of curse instead of an actual micro penis, mine seems to be just shy and needs some encouraging words or kisses.
      So maybe I can’t relate.

      Still I think this idea is idiotic

      • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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        2 months ago

        Micropenis is typically noticed in the initial physical exam after birth. The upper limit for that criteria is about half of the typical/normative, so it’s visually distinct even at birth. It’s not determined by erect length at all.

        Penises do grow over time, no matter what size they start, but there’s limits to how much. Even as puberty hits, someone with a micropenis will only get so much extra because of the underlying limitations of the tissues. If someone of normative length gets a 10% change (as an example, I don’t recall the actual number ranges for pubertal changes), that same basic range is all the person with a micropenis is going to get too.

        And you’re exactly right, it has next to zero impact on long term relationships. I wanna say that out of maybe fifteen or sixteen patients I had that fit the criteria, all but three had kids. So it’s definitely not a barrier to sex at all. The one patient I had that was unusually talkative about it (most of them would just state the fact and describe any special needs they’d have for bathing, then never mention it again) said that once he read “the joy of sex” and learned how to do oral, he and his wife did fine, which she said was true as well, fwiw.

        • naeap
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          2 months ago

          Ah, thank you for the explanation!

        • Phen@lemmy.eco.br
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          2 months ago

          It might just have “turned” micro afterwards, with a combination of a bunch of stuff, like them being a grower, the person putting on weight and also losing libido.

          • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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            2 months ago

            Well, no, not really.

            Being a “grower” isn’t the same thing at all.

            Someone putting on weight could be called buried penis. Totally different thing as well.

            Libido loss doesn’t have anything to do with the penis itself, directly. There may be an underlying hormonal issue that causes both, but that’s still different. And, sometimes people with micropenis may have psychological issues with their penis that interferes with libido as well. But, again that’s not the same thing.

            And, no, it doesn’t “turn” micro later. By definition, it’s an inborn thing. It would be called something else if it happens later in life.

            The most recent research into this is barely a year old, but it only backed up and refined previous information; this stuff has been documented and studied since at least the seventies, since that’s when the first surgeries for altering the condition took place. And that’s just as far as I know currently.

            It’s maybe one of those things where there’s a gap between the actual definition of a medical term and the colloquial usage, but I’m going off of the medical version. Again, from that standard, it is inborn, with the key factor in causing it being hormonal abnormalities in utero. The reasons for those hormonal issues are varied, and may have other symptoms after birth, but for it to be micropenis instead of something else, it’s an in utero malformation.

            • Phen@lemmy.eco.br
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              2 months ago

              I meant that the person on that image could be describing themselves as having a micro penis because of those things instead of actually having a micro penis. That’s why I placed the word “turn” in quotes.

    • BastingChemina@slrpnk.net
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      2 months ago

      A study from the 80s showed that around 45% of fathers NEVER changed a diaper.

      Things changed today but I would not be surprised if the dad never changed a diaper.

      • JasonDJ@lemmy.zip
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        2 months ago

        39 year old dad here. Being proud of not changing diapers was my dad’s generation for sure. I’ve certainly changed plenty, and I can’t think of any peers who haven’t.

    • brewdtype@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      My stepmom’s dad has bragged about never having changed a single diaper for his kids. He sees this as a victory. What a fucking creep.

      • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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        2 months ago

        Yeah, that’s true. I just don’t think that way. Kinda dumb of me to not consider the possibilities. I mean, it could be a step-dad, and they didn’t become anon’s dad until later. Could have been deployed in the military and didn’t have the chance. Someone else pointed out that the dad could have been older, in the actual baby boomer range; and that reminded me that I had assumed anon was a younger person when that doesn’t have to be the case

        I just default to the idea of fatherhood that I was raised around, and how I wanted to be a dad. Couldn’t get out of my own head before I commented lol. You’d think I’d know better

  • Juniper (she/her) 🫐@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    2 months ago

    A big reason that drove me was that I have a micropenis.

    Fake. There are no “reasons to drive someone” other than their internal gender, this sounds like something a cis person someone who thinks being trans is a choice would say.

    Edit: For clarity, I’m not speculating on whether or not the OP in the post is trans or cis, I’m saying it doesn’t sound like a real story because it sounds inauthentic to the trans experience. A trans person could easily think this up, like anyone can make up a story that is close to their experiences, but since it isn’t real it doesn’t really pass scrutiny.

    • Ptsf@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      That’s such reddit logic. You assume everyone has a perfect understanding of themselves, but people have a lot of different things internally that drive them and they’re not always aware of it. When I was young I was interested in other men, and frankly, quite disgusted by it. It’s the habitat I was raised in and if you’d asked me back then, I’d have told you it was because I was a sinner. The real reason as I came to discover was indeed that I’m just gay. It took a lot of steps and discovery to get there. I’m not saying this is real, I’m just pointing out that just because your logic is correct does not mean that this person if they are real has made enough discoveries about themselves to be strictly logical.

      • Samvega@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        26 days ago

        You assume everyone has a perfect understanding of themselves

        The ‘understanding’ of gender is appreciating how gender is socially constructed. That requires observation of society, hence revealing of new information, hence a journey of understanding.

        Your own gender is an experience, one that is even present (although not labelled) without the social norms. It’s what you experience as what you want to be and do. It would exist without the social construction of gender. You could prefer certain colours and certain toys regardless of what society says is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ for your external genitalia and designation on a birth certificate. I have known what society thinks about gender is not important to me since I first saw gender norms in the real world. I found the whole concept ridiculous. I’ve known that I am treated as male for having a penis, but am actually not interested in gender, since before I discovered terms like non-binary.

        Someone saying that “you need to watch Gordon Ramsay says about cooking before you know what food you like” is ridiculous. You’ve had experiences and you prefer some of them without Gordon Ramsay. He doesn’t even need to exist.

        Someone saying “you realise your gender preferences by being mocked for your micropenis” is being similarly ridiculous. Gender does not equate to external genitalia.

        It’s not a ‘perfect understanding’. It’s ‘having experiences’, which everyone does.

         

         

        When I was young I was interested in other men, and frankly, quite disgusted by it. It’s the habitat I was raised in and if you’d asked me back then, I’d have told you it was because I was a sinner. The real reason as I came to discover was indeed that I’m just gay. It took a lot of steps and discovery to get there.

        You did have an understanding of yourself. That was scared out of you by threats. You didn’t discover that you were gay - you just knew it, because it was a feature of your experience - you discovered that other people were wrong when they told you that was disgusting.

        • Ptsf@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          I’m human, and I’m speaking on the issues of self discovery, a progress path we can all share as people learning who they are, so maybe you shouldn’t assume I’m stepping where I have no ground.

          As for being told something made me gay, I have been. I’ve been told it was sexual assault (that did not occur) when I was young. I’ve been told it was the media and my friends. I’ve had those experiences, and yes, I know that we’re born that way now but I did not always have the space to make that discovery. I lived a life where I thought there had to be a reason because I thought it was a negative quality in myself. I hated it because I grew up around others who hated it. Insults behind closed doors, threats of violence and hate, and I agree with you that if they believed it was the reason they discovered their identity, they have more to learn. That does not mean they have learned it.

    • somtwo@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Wait, are you saying people would lie on 4chan???

      But seriously, yeah, people don’t seem to realize that people tend to want to pick the path of least resistance. If someone really is trans I have to believe it’s because who they are is so at odds with the expectations of society.

      Edit: added a qualification because I am not trans

      • Juniper (she/her) 🫐@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        2 months ago

        Exactly. Coming to terms with being trans, when trans people have been seen as nothing but the butt of far too many jokes in damn near all exposure most of us had growing up, is a difficult process rife with cognitive dissonance and defense mechanisms. No one wants to be trans, they just want to be their gender and have to be trans to get that.

    • Match!!@pawb.social
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      2 months ago

      two of my trans women friends, when getting their sperm frozen before starting hormones, found out they just have XX chromosomes and never had working sperm in the first place

      i think we underestimate how many intersex people there are

      • Juniper (she/her) 🫐@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        2 months ago

        Yup. My belief is that we are likely to eventually combine the categories of transgender and differences in sexual development (formerly known as intersex) as we discover more about it’s biological origins. The vast majority of people have never been karyotyped and have no idea what their chromosomes are.

      • Ragnarok314159
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        2 months ago

        It’s time to just replace the old questionnaires with Skyrim type character creator slide rules.

        “Please define yourself. If you take more than an hour you fail no matter what.”

    • Floey@lemm.ee
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      2 months ago

      Your internal gender didn’t just fall out of a coconut tree.

    • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Idk 4chan has a notoriously toxic and strange trans community. Giving “reasons” is exactly the sort of thing I’d expect of them

      • Juniper (she/her) 🫐@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        2 months ago

        That’s a good point. I haven’t browsed 4chan since way before they had any LGBT community/rep visible on it, I don’t know what kind of convoluted views they have. Let me guess, some of them unironcally identify as “agp” don’t they?

        • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          There’s a whole lot of blanchardianism (agp vs hsts). Quite a bit of homophobia, it’s actually a lot straighter than you’d probably expect. A lot of how they act is surprisingly old school, like back in the day when you weren’t allowed to transition unless therapists thought you couldn’t live a normal life as your assigned sex old school. And all this with the characteristic 4chan edgy bs. Also they’re anti supportive, like full on terf forum level of critical of trans people’s appearance.

          I haven’t been but I’ve learned to pick up the signs by seeing the shit trans people who come from 4chan say.

            • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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              2 months ago

              Yeah I think there’s just something about 4chan that encourages a sort of emotional automasochistic culture. I think it’s partly that the culture pushes away the healthy, but it also drives those capable of health away from it in favor of “uncomfortable truths”. I forget what Natalie Wynn called it, but it’s the philosophy of “it is true because it hurts”. And it happens all across the website. It’s the thing that ties the Nazis, the trolls, the incels, and the self hating trans people together, and it’s antithetical to happiness.

              • Cyrus Draegur@lemm.ee
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                2 months ago

                Holy shit I never heard of it put into words but jesus fucking christ does that CLICK. I’m no longer there myself but there was certainly a time when I felt in a similar way:

                The truth is painful,
                Therefore the more that it hurts,
                The more true it is.

                This rhetorical position is insidious, deranged, toxic, and most importantly: blatantly incorrect and false. Holding this belief is a diagnostic flag of fundamental cognitive stack malfunction. Suspend all non-critical executive processes and seek therapy.

                • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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                  2 months ago

                  So I just remembered the term she used was masochistic epistemology. It was in this video about incels.

                  But yeah it’s such an easy trap to fall into when you’re already unhappy. And yeah it’s a form of accepting defeat because trying is hard and the possibility of failure is scary. Sometimes the truth hurts, and if you’re generally miserable the truth you need is likely uncomfortable, but that discomfort could be anything from “you need to get your shit together” to “your expectations are unrealistic” to “you’re surrounding yourself with people and things that make you miserable because it’s easier to accept unhappiness than to change”

                  Incels for example think they need to accept that they’re just ugly and unable to ever be seen as attractive and thus are destined to be miserable forever, when in reality they often need to accept that getting laid won’t make them happy and their misery is part of why they can’t get laid. They need to find a happy life in which sex would be a nice plus and then be clean, groomed, and enjoyable to be around.

        • 0laura@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          2 months ago

          i have spent and still spend lots of time in these places and yes, they do. they desperately want to be hsts and hate themselves for being agp and not being trutrans enough. lots of reppers too (trans people that know they’re trans but repress it out of self hatred). there’s lots of lore

    • DempstersBox@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Yeah, this seems like the ‘joke’ is that only guys with tiny dicks would want to transition.

      Which has nothing to do with it

  • Mac@mander.xyz
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    2 months ago

    Bummer. If only there was more to relationships than penetrative sex. :/

    • RaoulDook@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      I saw a penis size chart recently, it showed the overall avg size versus porn actor sizes.

      Overall people’s average size was around 5.5" and average porn actor size was about 7" and there were very few porn actors with less than 6"

      So porn is generally skewing people’s perception of size if that’s what they see more than in-person dongs. (haha in person)

      • tetris11@lemmy.ml
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        2 months ago

        The median would be interesting. Just in case there’s one guy out there stocking a 12 footer.

    • RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      I would have to actually look for that.

      So it’s kinda hard to notice what you aren’t looking for.

      But you do you, no kink shaming.

  • Cyrus Draegur@lemm.ee
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    2 months ago

    Sis was basically built with a clit to begin with, will barely need any aftermarket mods to match female spec.