Over unless you got a cat or little kids
Or unless you have a weird roll holder that is super prone to overfeeding.
What did they do before 1891?
In the days of old when knights were bold and toilet paper wasn’t invented, they’d wipe their ass with a piece of grass and walk away contented.
Three seashells?
Poop knife.
Did you know there is poop knife merch?? I now have a poop knife shirt from Amazon
lmao they don’t know how to use the three seashells
Let’s just say that swans didn’t enjoy the human use for their necks.
Your hands or water or a sponge that is then cleaned in water. It’s actually really interesting, and I encourage you and everyone else to read up on it.
or water
Also known as a bidet, or washlet. It’s the only way to fly.
I have a cheap bidet and I can confirm it is the way to go. I wish I could afford one of the good ones that warms the water and shoots out hot/cool air to dry you afterwards, but the cheap one is still leagues above tp or wipes.
They had it roll the other way
Discarded corn cobs and pages from the Sears Roebuck catalog. At least in midwestern USA.
Wipe their ass with newspaper?
And before newspaper?
Town criers?
This is why i like it here!! The other place doesn’t get quality comments like this!!
mashed into a thick paste and applied liberally to the anus
Ah, I think I’m going to need a few visual aids for that plan…
Wow, I bet that would stick to the roof really well (with enough force)
Over, to prevent the spread of bacteria by touching the wall. Under is acceptable if you have a cat, who will fuck with the roll.
The toilet paper drags against the wall either way though?
Yes, but the paper is clean, your hands are dirty. If the paper hangs over, you can grab the paper directly. If the paper hangs under you may have to touch the wall to be able to get at the paper.
According to the patent (US465588A) it should be over.
This is the way.
If it’s under spiders can make a nest between the toilet paper and the wall so you’re wiping your ass or coochie with that.
Well great. New fear unlocked.
I mean, you were given eyes for a reason. Also, how often do you go to the bathroom that warrants enough time for a spider to build a web??
It’s not quite the same, but … I swear, literally this morning while doing my business one of my bathroom spiders snuck under my slightly raised heel just to chill. If I’d put my foot down that’d be the end of that creature, but by luck I moved my foot instead to find a quarter-sized spider just hanging out where my bare foot had just been.
Side-note: This particular spider is called Hex because it’s missing two legs. I believe I found those legs right by the toilet a few weeks before I met my new pooping pal. I’ve always wondered how it lost them.
one of my bathroom spiders
I’m sorry, what? You have multiple bathroom spiders?
Yup! We live in a basement and have this deal with the spiders that they’ll be left alone as long as they stay off the furniture. For some reason we basically only see them in the bathroom but the occasional time they’ve been bad, they get exiled to the laundry room.Usually there are 3-5 out that we can see at any given time. Most are very tiny ones that chill in webs, but a few are hunters that are much more mobile. Those that stick around or do something notable get named after a while. Other than Hex there’s been …
Peeping Tom who lived in a web in front of the toilet and just watched you. Sometimes, usually after someone showered and there was condensation in the room, he’d take a little jaunt around his “porch”. He disappeared one day under mysterious circumstances. While hoping for his safe return I took the opportunity to clean around his home and accidentally sucked it up with a hand vacuum.
Marina, who was originally named Mario as I rescued her from the sink - the name was changed when I suspected her to be a girl due to her looking like a bigger version of a species we sometimes see. She was my fave as she was always up to something and was very active. We think she was huffing caulking as after we redid it she loved to sit on the new caulk, leading us to childishly say she was “addicted to caulk.” We were genuinely concerned about her addiction though as it seemed unhealthy. I once saw her awkwardly chase down a pill millipede. You wouldn’t think it possible for something a few mm across to look embarrassed, but I swear she did after she bit it in the ass and it ran off unphased. I think she was too tiny to pierce its exoskeleton. She’s recently disappeared and I’m legit sad and hoping she’s just off on one of her adventures.
I then recycled the name Mario for one who I had to quickly scoop out of the sink when I was running the water and hadn’t noticed because he was so tiny. I was proud of myself as, despite what you may think I’m slightly arachnophobic. (I was very arachnophobic before we started keeping them as free-range pets / housemates.)
Big Bertha, who lived in parts unknown but would often show up in the bathroom at night. She had a habit of temporarily stealing the webs of the resident spiders for a few hours before departing. Usually the other spider would fuck off and watch from a distance, but once I saw her in there just staring down the owner. To my knowledge, she never hurt them though.
It’s possible that Hex is actually Big Bertha, as he/she/it (I’m sure I’m misgendering the hell out of them all) has a similar personality.
Can you possibly tell that we cannot currently get pets due to our living situation? We’re making do with what the basement provides for companionship.
Do you not take vacations and work from home in your one bathroom place?
Uh, huh? I take some trips here and there, don’t work from home, but I’ve never had spiders make up a web between the tp and wall, and I live in the mountains where those dudes are everywhere.
You’ll get spiders in your coochie!
“Ohh, I don’t have one of those”
If their web can catch a fly, it can catch my shit. Extra strength TP!
+0.5 ply
Are we really beholden to the past like that? Things change, and hopefully improve. I know most people say over but my argument for under is that it can do everything over can… But, due to the extra friction, I can also tear it one-handed by ripping fast and the roll won’t continue spinning.
Under, but fold the beginning of the paper over itself, so it appears to be over until your unsuspecting victim tries to grab some paper. Then they realize the true nature of your depravity.
how can I delete someone else’s comment?
Better yet, how do we get this person screened for psychopathy?
Psychopathy is a boon in my line of work.
If you put in a little extra unroll/reroll work, you can make it mysteriously change direction mid-roll and you’ll be long gone.
Over, unless you have cats
My cats never cared about toilet paper, so over all the way.
Centerfeed
Exactly! Just grip the cardboard tube and pull the middle out
Over has always been more effective, also to take it with one hand
deleted by creator
A few years ago I chose to stop thinking about it. I just refill the roll and don’t worry about it. When I realized it didn’t matter, it was a weight lifted off my shoulders. Same with trying to stop the gas pump on the nearest dollar or setting the tv volume to an even number.
I don’t know why I felt such a relief when I let go, but I did and now I’m free!
You animal.
Over, unless you have a holder that covers the wall.
Beard, not mullet.
It can be highly dependent on if you own a cat.
When I am not a cat owner: Over
When I am a cat owner: Under, most definitely.
Case in point:
I understand a lot of cat owners have this happen, but my cats have never done it other than once and then never again after I redirected them with a cat toy.
