SeductiveTortoise

They’re not useless! Just for democracy. And people. But not for Trump, they’re really useful for Trump!

I’m not sure what surprises me more, the fact that there’s a sensor for counting farts, or that there is a stock image like this:

Fine, we’ll create a home assistant add-on to count your farts in private. Geez, people… 🙄

I rarely even activate my camera, but I try to make such a good job that they all accept whatever I throw at them.

No pants? Well, but he fixed our burning pile of shit codebase last week, remember?

You’d become like the Vengaboys

“Who shat into your fucking skull, you fucking cockwaffle?”

#StrongerTogether
#OneFamily
#PizzaWednesday

Oh no, the gullible people your friends need to get elected are the gullible people that ate up your antivax bullshit. Who would have thought!

Slay

The British? Stealing? Behave! They’ve never done anything bad 💖

Man ist erst alt wenn man sich alt fühlt

Of course he is. He’s in IT!

Shut up, Clippy!

*the higher rate of fire can occur inside the tank occasionally

“it’s not a kill switch, but an asphyxiate button. totally different, see?”

Ties in the 80 were comically long and broad. Most dudes moved on since, but he seems to like them.

I’m ignoring you, trying to steal my chuckle!

I guess the president of the United States and his love for overly long ties, dressed up to be hateful and vile.

I mean, he is hateful and vile without being dressed up for it, but this is kind of a tradition in his family, so…

ok, buuuut…

that was hella funny.

My name is Storm. Dick Storm.