“In my own bed, with a belly full of wine and a maiden’s mouth around my cock, at the age of eighty.”
What a beautiful quote.
Me too, Tyrion. Me too buddy.
I drink and I know things
Imagine being that maiden and having to live with the flattering, horrifying knowledge that you sucked the last life from a dying man.
Obviously the ideal is to die under suspicious circumstances in a large house with many rooms and secret passages, a variety of potential murder weapons, and several mutually distrustful colorful characters.
I like you.
That doesnt remove you from suspicion.
Curses!
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my uncle, not screaming in terror like his passengers.
Not likely though.
Had a heart attack recently… while waiting for surgery, asleep, they tell me my heart stopped for eight seconds.
No clue. Woke up in the morning like usual, browsing my phone when they come in and tell me.
Hopefully just like that.
My dad died this exact same way and while doctors kept saying he didn’t suffer at all because it was so quick I just thought they were being reassuring since I guess that is what they are supossed to say.
Your comment helps me to make the burden of his passing a bit lighter. Thank you.
Sorry for your loss!
Thank you, it was some years back and I am in a better place mentally but I still miss him dearly.
Soon
Death by snu snu
Well you probably starve to death lost in a giant space neandertal’s vagina. Probably not as good as you think.
Not going to lie, I’m hard right now.
Thank you, SatansMaggotyCumFart, for your substantial contribution.
Sorry to disappoint but it’s very small.
Like a little mushroom in a shag carpet even when erect.
Casualty of the heat death of the universe
Entropy reaching 1.0 will take a really long time. You sure you wanna be hanging around for several quadrillion years given cosmological inflation? That’s a whole lotta nothing for a whole lotta time…
I dunno about the guy you responded to, but speaking for myself, that might actually give me enough time to play through my Steam backlog.
I should die due to my own negligence, playing fast and loose with custom firmware for my cyber heart at the age of 300.
Your cyber heart requires an update and needs to restart on completion. This may take a while.
Peacefully in my sleep, like the guy in the joke, and not like the passengers of his car.
I’ll never forget asking my father this question as a kid, and he answered without hesitation, “A bullet to the head.” Fast-forward a few decades and that’s how he went out by the firearm he carried to protect his family, causing more harm than any mugger or assailant could have caused if he was unarmed. Take care of yourself fellow lemms and dont dwell on death, focus on living a life you dont want to leave behind and keep pushing your Boulder up the hill regardless of how many times it rolls back down.
Are you saying he shot himself, or that someone shot him with his own pistol?
He shot himself.
Sorry, dude.
Its all good he went out how he wanted to, bastard didnt even leave a note.
With the heat death of the universe in some full dive vr utopia.
Not at my own hand
We gotta dream big there amigo, stay strong!
in one-on-one combat with a God while stealing something forbidden for humanity… if that’s still a thing…
All you are going to get is tied to a rock for eternity, with an eagle feeding on your liver.
Until a group of elderly men in loincloths show up and hand you a sword.
At an old age peacefully after having a satisfying life
Preferably before neurological decline sets in as I’d prefer to not go like I’ve seen so many others go; forgetting the faces of their loved ones
I’d also hope that I will have left happy memories with those that would remember me after I’ve passed. Stories they’d love to tell people. Stories their grandkids would love to hear.
That and other paintful things is why I am already (as a 17 year old) planning a suicide at 90 or when dementia starts (if i survive that long).
I used to know a man who made it to 107
He was fully coherent until the end
He passed away on his own terms after his doctor told him his cancer was back in full swing and more aggressive than before.
I still miss that old man telling his stories about growing up and then raising kids during the Great Depression. Or him talking about his older brother passing away during The Great War (WWI). Or talking about watching the moon landing with his grandkids. Or one of my favorite stories of him: how him and I used to race to the rhubarb and gooseberry pies at the restaurant I worked at.
His wake after he passed had literally hundreds of people. He impacted so many peoples lives in a positive way.
Stick around for awhile, you may make it longer than you think. And even in old age you may meet people who you have a massive impact on their lives.
Just like my grandfather, peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like his passengers
This one.
