From the moment I understood the weakness of my bread, it disgusted me. I craved the energy and sweetness of sugar.
I aspired to the purity of simple carbs.
Your kind, cling to their complex carbohydrates. As though they will not break down and fatten you. One day the diet you call balanced will starve you, and you will beg my kind to save you.
But I am already saved…Because sucrose is eternal.
Even in death I serve the Nomnissiah.
The Omnomnomissiah?
The body of Christ: black on the outside, white on the inside
slow clap
The body of Christ now has a sweet creamy center just like me!
You’re ready to let Jesus inside you.
“Jesus is coming!”
I damn well hope so. He’s been edging for 2,000 years.
The rapture is starting to smell very sticky.
But it’s gonna feel… Incredible.
I’m replaying Deus Ex right now, and I’m baffled the devs forgot to include this
We gotta replace the wine with milk.
Which has some concerning implications
What’s to question? The lord clearly has a sweet set of big mommy milkers. Was this not made clear by the phrase “Jesus tittyfucking Christ”?
There are also 12 templar crosses. I did not find an anagram for “OREO” in Latin, nor is it “INRI” transposed directly in alphabet, but there might be something to force there. Both being four-letter words with same beginning and end and all.
Wait, so christians couldn’t figure this out? Guess we’re the new christians, kids.
Damnit…now I just want to eat some Oreos.
This is one of the best memes I’ve seen all year.
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