I moved to Chicago at the end of October from the deep south. The past few days the weather has been hovering around 0⁰F and that has been an adjustment. I’ve figured out the clothing I can wear to bear it. Sunday my feet felt like they were going to fall off after only a few minutes walking around. Last night I had to wait for a bus for like 20 minutes and I was totally fine. I switched boots and it fixed my whole issue with comfort.

I’m on book 1 so far but it’s already quite an accomplishment for me to be reading again. I used to read on my 1h train commute but since I got a new job and the train is only 20 mins anymore I pretty much stopped reading altogether. I’ve decided to get back into it anyway even though it’s only small boats at a time, and I’m really happy to be back :)

I’m waiting on a biopsy result. I might have breast cancer.

picked up the new foster dog, coco on saturday. she’s acclimating pretty well, considering she went from a free roaming outdoor only dog on 17 acres to a downtown indoor dog on 1/3 of an acre. my old man australian shepherd is having a harder time accepting her, but we’re getting there with short 5-10 minute intros where he’s on leash so i can redirect when he gets too in her face. the little chihuahua mix has always been good with other dogs, so no surprise that they’re interacting really well.

coco goes to the vet later today, and fingers crossed there’s no major issues.

update: she’s in perfect health! no parasites, healthy weight, good teeth and eyes.

At the end of last year all I had was hope and patience. Through sheer luck and the kindness of complete strangers my living situation has finally stabilized.

The things that happened last year really did a number on me and now it takes time to recover once again. Sometimes I wonder if we’ll ever have a society where it is ok to be human.

Luckily I don’t drink or anything like that but it’s seemingly near impossible to get my arse into first gear to take care of the few responsibilities that I have.

Fortunately I’ve learned to take care of the basics like eating healthy, sleeping well, making friends, and knowing that through it all, even on the worst of days, that things will eventually improve. That it’s all worth it.

I just hope my client can find that final bit of patience, as I honestly don’t know what to tell them any more. I feel terrible about it, but also I want and need to work and so they’re kinda stuck with this situation too. All I can hope for is that when things start moving again that I can work multiple days per week. That would solve the issues for everyone involved.

Related song.

Having kind of a rough week with wrestling with identity stuff. Things are generally good for me, but I just keep having these questions about myself coming up and I can’t seem to just drop it. Not sure where any of it is going, or if it’s going anywhere, but I’m getting kind of tired of it tbh…

And a new team project begins. Team leaders from the last term’s projects were exempt from being in charge again this time, which was something of a relief for a couple of hours. The new team leader is a lovely guy, but very shy and socially awkward, and so far his success rate for deciding what to do and delegating it to someone is… uh… one time. A couple more times if you include me making a suggestion and him going “yeah, what Frog said.” I have to give the dude credit for volunteering for team leader - given his personality, it was a seriously brave thing to do and I genuinely admire that. But I understand there are some bets amongst the class for £5-£10 over how many weeks it will be before I’m in charge. And I’m just like… nope, I am not taking over. I’m just not doing it.

Getting ready for more snow after spending a few days bucking and splitting some of next year’s wood from a tree that fell in the yard. Kinda hoping we get some decent coverage and that it sticks around for longer than a day, but that it doesn’t cause too much disruption for @Chris Remington and other folks in New England. My father found some back country skis as a christmas gift that should be better for getting around some of the hill on our property and I’m dying to try them.

This week went from bad, I wasn’t feeling well couldn’t find any energy was getting back into depression, to worse, my favorite all time uncle passed away last night. I am not dealing well. He was one of those weird, quite a lot, offbeat people that kind of got me, no one else liked him much. Now I feel like when I talk about how much I love home it makes me even more of an outsider. Also he is so far away I can’t go to his friends and his circle and be with other people that love him too.

Alyaza what have been your favorite/most interesting book among the four?

Friends of Beehaw, what are some amazing, insightful, funny, thoughtful books you’ve recently read?

I’m stupid. Last week, my rss reader lost all my subscriptions. Or so I thought. I’ve just noticed that I was logged in under a different account…

I was wondering why I had mounting anxiety and some shakes, only to realize that I had not eaten for several hours. Roast beef sandwich and some chamomile tea fixed that right up.

Very chill week for me. I’ve been snowed in for the last 5 days which means a break from work 😄

Could nation-states just, for a day, not bomb one another? Houthis hit ships. Ships hit back. Iran hits…seemingly anyone nearby? Pakistan says, “Hold my Lassi” and lobs a few rockets back. Could we maybe, just take a deep breath, and chill?

Anyways, found out I got a hole in my knee meniscus exposing bone. I guess if we keep escalating these little tit-for-tat attacks I won’t have to worry about it for too long.

I still have a job. I survived layoffs… for now. My workload has increased, but all is well, and I’m thankful for that.