• Taigagaai@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    42
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    7 months ago

    I cancelled to go to a thank you dinner that was organised for a thing I volunteer at. It was a few hours before and I was feeling really sick but up until that point I didn’t think it was that bad. Most people in the group chat said to feel better soon but one of the organisers posted a whole thing about taking responsibility and informing at least two days beforehand since they weren’t able to cancel for me with the restaurant last minute. I didn’t say anything but that was really hurtful. As if I were choosing to be sick to inconvenience them??

    • AeroLemming@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      12
      ·
      6 months ago

      You don’t plan out your illnesses by coordinating with the Virus Collective regarding which days they’re allowed to infect you? That’s incredibly irresponsible and you should be ashamed.

      • SgtAStrawberry@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        6
        ·
        6 months ago

        I know, but my local one doesn’t have any contact details and they refuse to reschedule. They are completely impossible to work with.

  • TheBananaKing@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    38
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    7 months ago

    When my brother-in-law thanked me for not coming to visit my other in-laws because “well, it’s a bit awkward”.

    It, in this case, being that I was the wrong race to marry his sister.

  • Decoy321@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    36
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    7 months ago

    This is a good question! Honestly I can’t even think of a time. Usually when someone says something insulting or hurtful, I just lose respect or consideration for them. After all, it says more about them than it does about me.

    To add an example, I recently got told to “go back to my country you [lazy racial slurs]” by a MAGA loving shithead neighbor.

    I was born here, and the old asshole who said it emigrated here less than a decade ago. It was a flabbergasting experience.

  • FoundTheVegan@kbin.social
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    35
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    edit-2
    7 months ago

    Had a homeless guy get right in my face and shouted UGLY!

    I know that probably has more to do with his life than mine, but it’s hard not to take it personally and wonder if it’s what everyone else is too polite to say.

    • gandalf_der_12te@feddit.de
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      6 months ago

      It’s, as you have already said, most likely an emotional issue on his side.

      There is no such thing as “the beauty standard”.

      • FoundTheVegan@kbin.social
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        7
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        6 months ago

        Well, yeah. I agree beauty is a flawed, racist, social construct that is just societal opinions in bulk. But money is also a fake social construct that has very real affects on everyday life. We can deconstruct the term “beauty” all night, but that doesn’t change the lived reality of being called ugly having a real, genuine, hurtful effect on my self esteem.

  • neutron@thelemmy.club
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    28
    ·
    7 months ago

    When I was told to get lost and go back to China because the pandemic reliefs were for the fellow countrymen.

    • JackGreenEarth@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      4
      arrow-down
      5
      ·
      7 months ago

      Are you from China? Anyone who managed to escape that country should be praised, not told to go back.

  • Raptor_007@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    28
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    edit-2
    6 months ago

    My manager introduced me at a company picnic to the guy who hired him years ago. We no longer worked in his org, but he was still someone who my boss admired. The guy had already had a few drinks and reached out to shake my hand. On my way to shake his, he happened to glance at my badge (I forgot I even still had it on) and noticed I’m a contractor.

    “Oh, you’re a contractor?” As he immediately withdraws his hand. “Are you at least working to go full-time?”

    He literally never shook my hand. It’s been over a year and I don’t think I’ll ever forget that. What a dick.

    • h3rm17@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      4
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      7 months ago

      How does exactly Jordan Peterson dismiss asexuality there?

      He is asked by someone self defining as asexual: how can I do to have kids, I have not felt sexual connections but want to create children with my wife.

      Then he answers the questions, like “hey, if you really wanna do this, you can try this steps. Also, you can explore if you are really asexual (see, he acknowledges there asexual exists) or if maybe it has roots on something else, and you should explore that as well”

      How is that dismissing, did I miss something?

      If it is because something in the lines of “well, you cannot tell people they maybe arent what they identify as” then Ok i guess. I don’t agree, I think a professional should explore all possibilities, especially when it is generaring discomfort to someone (as is the case with the person asking), but that’s just my opinion.

      If it’s not in that line, I may have missed something.

  • CulturedLout@lemmy.ca
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    19
    ·
    7 months ago

    My husband recently said that I had a nice ass when I was younger, but currently it’s “just something that happens to some women when they get older.” I’m 40.

  • BellyPurpledGerbil@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    19
    ·
    7 months ago

    My mother told me that she hated me. After a really dumb argument we had, as adults. I still talk to her and play nice in front of our siblings but I haven’t forgiven her and I don’t think I ever will. I lost a lot of love for my mother in a single day and then nothing anyone has said to me since has ever matched or beaten that feeling. How do you trump your own mother hating you? She moved on like she never said it. No apologies. Never mentioned it. You can call me every name and slur and hang me for all my fuckups and oddities, but you can’t hurt me. I’m already at 0 HP emotionally

    • schmorp@slrpnk.net
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      18
      ·
      7 months ago

      Oof. Mine wrote me in a letter that she wasn’t my mother anymore. Later pretended she never meant it. 20 years pass. Then she writes me a message saying I ruined my kid’s life. I cut contact then. I still miss the friendly mom she sometimes was.

      • Something_Complex@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        9
        ·
        7 months ago

        My mom wrote a similar letter with all that she thought of me. I picked it up and threw it out. Idc what it said there I never will. Bitch be even more self-centred then idk who, I have my flaws but I also know to try and not take it out on other (sometimes).

        I don’t think she evel will be able to

        • schmorp@slrpnk.net
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          6 months ago

          Writing this kind of mean stuff, having the chance to re-read it, and then sending it anyway to ones own child is what gets me. Ugly things said in the heat of a discussion are not great, but to have the chance to sleep over it, think it through, and still going forward. Another level of mean.

          • Something_Complex@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            1
            ·
            6 months ago

            To be fair she and my father where having a divorce and I reminded her of my dad a lot…lol. I understood why my dad separated when she started pulling that type of shit

      • gandalf_der_12te@feddit.de
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        6 months ago

        I, in your stead, would fight back.

        I seriously mean it. Drive up to her and explain her why she is such a stupid person. I guess that you will feel better then. It’s important to always be honest, and that includes sometimes saying difficult truths.

        • schmorp@slrpnk.net
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          6 months ago

          I have come to terms with the fact that some people are too damaged to be dealt with. Their perspective and handling of life and mine just diverge too much, and any effort spent trying to align these perspectives is bound to cause more hurt.

          I think about contacting her so often. Once I got a birthday message from her sister, who she lives with. I mentioned the hurt and why I was not talking to my mother, and got back more of the same emotional abuse. Both aunt and mom are lost, out there with their anger and bitterness, and it’s not my job to retrieve them, as much as I would like to.

          The fact she turned into a literal nazi in just a few decades (thank you facebook) doesn’t help the situation.

    • krakenx@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      7
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      7 months ago

      I don’t think she meant it. She probably said it in the heat of the moment and then forgot she even said it later.

      • gandalf_der_12te@feddit.de
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        5
        ·
        6 months ago

        Oh, you have no idea.

        In an ideal world, every parent loves their child.

        Unfortunately, some people do not live in an ideal world. There’s a lot of parents who mistreat their children, and that doesn’t exclude mothers, unfortunately.

  • Buglefingers@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    19
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    6 months ago

    I’ve only been offended at my work place once ever. I worked with another guy for years. We got along decently and I even went to bat against a senior in our company for him. When he retired he refused to shake my hand and my congratulations for retirement.

    I still have no idea why he refused but that one got to me. I didn’t even have bugle dust on my fingers!

  • Lemminary@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    14
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    7 months ago

    The time this one dude lied to me with my friend so he’d have an excuse to talk to me. He wanted to get to know me and couldn’t fathom walking up and striking a conversation like a normal person so he asked my friend to pretend that they knew each other for a long time when I got back from the restroom. I found out when things weren’t adding up. I felt so manipulated that I had to walk out of the club to clear my head.

  • halloween_spookster@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    12
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    edit-2
    7 months ago

    Many times by my mom. Recently in reference to me balding, she said “you look like a <family name>, that’s too bad”. It was so bad even my dad did a double take.

  • vivavideri@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    10
    ·
    7 months ago

    As a marginalized person, it tends to occur more often than not; but, it’s not like that’s necessarily unusual.

  • Stamets@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    8
    ·
    7 months ago

    I cannot go into depth about it but I had an issue with some stuff and talked to the people responsible about it. Was told to expect a response that never came. Someone else then told me about discussions that were happening behind the scenes and how one potential fix was floated. Said fix being something that didn’t address the core problem but was instead a pat on the head and a lollipop to me so that they could keep doing thing anyway.

    If you don’t wanna address the issue that’s fine but don’t insult me by floating something that doesn’t listen to anything I’ve said and addresses a problem that doesn’t exist.