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So, is Satan so busy that he only gets to fuck once a year? Or is Halloween the one day of the year he’s not practicing safe sex?
I never thought about this before, but it seems somehow important.
Also, “his bride”? Not his wife or girlfriend? Does he get married to a new person every year?
This whole situation feels too oddly wholesome for these people to be so upset. Straight? Check. Married? Check. Planned and wanted pregnancy from someone with a lot of power? Check! The father is the literal devil? Fuck that, apparently! Get out of here, you model-citizen demon!
Also, to whomever wrote that note: I’m glad y’all don’t like walking in front of my house. You’re literally the worse. I’d rather hang out with Satan and his bride than you judgmental prudes.
I have no scientific proof, but people that act out like this always have something to hide. The first boss I ever had would come in every day and quote from the Bible during the last 15-20 minutes of my shift. I actually fell for his rap and believed that he was a righteous God fearing family man. I was sixteen and somewhat religious myself. One day I got up from my desk as I needed some office supplies. As I walked by his deserted secretary’s desk and neared his door, I was just about to knock when I heard him softly calling out to God. I paused for a second thinking that it might not be a good time to interrupt as he might be reading the Bible. As I stood there like a dummy, I quickly realized he was getting a blowie from his secretary. This event made a huge impact on me and I quit a few days later.
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I couldn’t help but imagine a gargantuan crimson horror beyond human imagination, with tears in its eyes and phlegm flowing from various orifices, exasperatedly yelling “what else do I have to do to make you people like me!?”
Maybe it’s a “bride of Frankenstein” thing. More of a title than anything.
Though this is the devil they’re talking about. Satan could be getting divorced every year and remarrying, or just straight up adding a new “sister-wife” annually.
I legit have not thought this much about real world religion in years.
Same. Now I’m wondering how many kids he has and what their names are.
I wonder if Satan is open to adoption, plenty of people have been called the child of Satan so why not make it official
Why would satan bother getting married at all?
Tax advantages, I imagine.
Even Satan knows not to cross the IRS.
So Satan has a harem of girls
I’M THE HEAD DEMON PRINCE OF HELL WITH A CUTE HAREM OF GIRLS BUT CAN ONLY HAVE ONE BRIDE?!!
Anime title writers: “write that down write that down!”
Maybe she dies in childbirth
You kind of HAVE TO have a Satan and bride honeymoon theme now don’t you?
At that point, I’d do a ‘satan on pornhub’ theme
Is Satan circumcised on pornhub?
If the neighbors choose to use the mailbox like that, I don’t see how it couldn’t be viewed as a suggestion.
oh I would have upside down crosses all over my yard. I would up the horror game so much that they would sue me.
One year I had a house party with around 80 people. The church across the street (uphill) called the cops on me - twice. So on Halloween I burned a pentagram into my front lawn with a cleaning agent iirc(?) for them to gaze down upon for the next two months until it snowed. They never bothered me again after that. It’s good to set boundaries.
I’d have that framed and hang it up every year as a badge of honor. This person won Halloween 👏👏👏
I’m so sick of all religions
Does that include Buddhism? If so why?
Does that include Buddhism?
Yes.
If so why?
Have you read what is happening in Myanmar?
Becasue every religion has been used as a tool of oppression, including Buddhism.
I have not read about Myanmar. Care to elaborate?
I think this is a good summary:
I keep forgetting that’s in Myanmar. Too many genocides right now
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No. You made a sweeping defence of Buddhism. Implying you know it is not like other religions, so I think you should do some reading.
Then don’t bother commenting if you can’t back yourself up.
No I asked a question. I didn’t defend shit. You’re too damn sensitive.
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1.) I asked a question on a forum
2.) An interlocutor made a claim
3.) I asked for an explanation of that claim.I’m not asking for anyone to ‘do my homework’. I’m asking someone to explain their claim. How is that hard to understand for some of y’all? It’s literally the equivalent of asking for sources.
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You’re an asshole
I don’t understand how this pertains to Buddhism. Myanmar, a brutal authoritarian country ruled by a military autocratic junta is committing atrocities against its population, both Buddhist and Muslim.
Unlike Abrahamic religions, there is not a single part of Buddha’s teachings nor a single school of Buddhism that would condone this. Myanmar happens to be a Buddhist country, whose government acts this way. The bible, the q’ran and the tora all incite violence on some sort of people, be it gays, polytheists, infidels, apostates, you name it, but not a single word in Buddhism ever speaks in favor of violence.
Seems like a stretch to peg this on Buddhism. If Myanmar was not Buddhist, they would act the exact same way. This is more a Myanmar thing, rather than a Buddhist thing. This is like ascribing Nazi crimes to Christianity because Germans happened to be Christians during Nazi rule. The crimes derive from governmental nationalism operation, not from religious teachings. The bible god may have said that gays deserve to die, but did not say Jews deserve to be killed. Crusades and the inquisition are Christian crimes, Nazism is an ideology crime, same as Myanmar nationalism.
If you knew anything about Buddhism, you would know that violence goes against everything Buddhists believe. There is no justified violence in Buddhism. There is no right justification to be violent in Buddhism. Being violent is proof you do not understand Buddhism in any way. I challenge anyone to bring me proof of any teachings of Buddha that condones what is happening in Myanmar. Literally any verse, any koan, any quote, anything at all. Anything that shows that Buddhism encouraged Myanmar to act this way. If someone who calls themselves Buddhist goes around murdering people, even though in all history of Buddhism, never once violence was called for in any teachings, can you honestly say it is Buddhism that is flawed here ? Can you be intellectually honest and still say Buddhism incited Myanmar to commit genocide ?
Your second paragraph details my understanding of Buddhism and why I asked. I have also recently read that The Buddha is not considered a god. It seems to me that Buddhism is more akin to philosophy than religion.
You are correct. Buddhism is indeed more akin to a philosophy to find meaning in life and to act in a way that minimizes suffering to yourself and others through compassion.
Although there is a lot of mythology regarding reincarnation and energies, but the old nature of Buddhism makes it so not everything is clear crystal whether it was stated by Buddha or not. Moreover, like Hinduism, a lot of things explained by the Buddha were metaphors that explain processes that are hard to explain unless you have a clear understanding of science that didn’t exist back when Buddhism was founded, or were analogies to better explain them. Stuff like the cosmic wheel, energies, that sort of thing.
Additionally, many myths were created around the image of Buddha that were embellishments added at a later date, not just to the teachings, but to the man himself. You could say that if some Buddhist believes in something that it is part of Buddhism, but Buddhism is a personal journey that each person must take themselves and see. The Buddha always said that each one of us must take that journey and learn the things he learned himself. He is no prophet, nor god, but a man who understood part of the rules of the universe and that each person could too. This is why Buddhist teachings take the form of koans. Small, confusing tales meant to make you think deeply upon certain characteristics of the universe, to help you reach the same conclusions as he did by yourself. “If two hands make a clapping sound, what is the sound of one hand ?” This is one such koan, what does it teach you about life, society and the universe? It’s not quick and easy. You’re supposed to sit and think about it. Even if i tell you what i think it means, you’ll only understand my perspective on it based on my life experiences. Your lesson might take a different explanation than mine based on your own life, which is why koans have no universal solution. They’re meant to replicate thought patterns and realizations that are bespoke to each intelligent being. No one can spoonfeed you Buddhism. It requires agency, thought and doubt.
This is why the Dalai Lama said that if science proves Buddhism wrong, Buddhism adopts the scientific explanations. Buddha was a man that came across some fundamental insights into being happy. Sooner or later these insights will be discovered and proven by science, much like the benefits of meditation were, and will be explained in scientific terms. Meditation helps you focus and being at peace because it reduces the activity in the Default Mode Network of the brain. Buddha could not explain the default mode network. He probably didn’t know what those words even meant. But he knew that “Meditation brings wisdom. Lack of meditation leaves ignorance. Know well that leads you forward and what holds you back.”
I can understand the weariness of some people about religion. I can understand the distrust about Buddhism. Yet i can appreciate that everyone has their own internal journey and doubting Buddhism is an integral part of it. I too began by thinking Buddhism made no sense, until it did. Because of this exact reason, there are no heretics in Buddhism.
That has nothing to do with Buddhism and everything to do with racism.
I am a very concerned resident regarding your horrifying and demonic array every Halloween.
This is not a happy time of year.
In fact it is the time when Satan Impregnates his bride.
you need to consider what you are doing as it is affecting many of the neighbours in this area.
Some of us dread walking by your house
For anyone who wants to use this as a copypasta
“Satan impregnates his bride” is a new one. I hope the pregnancy goes well for them lol
Especially, as the sender is most likely anti-abortion.
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lol that got me too . like… I’m pretty sure you made that up
I’d adapt the decorations to include an unholy marriage theme.
That needs to be copied, laminated and posted outside with pride.
Needs to become a copypasta
Where the fuck does this “the time Satan impregnates his bride” shit come from.
A lot of these religious zealots tend to straight make shit up, usually about connections to hell/devil/Lucifer. Everything they don’t like is somehow connected to Lucifer or Hell. It’s usually a control mechanism.
I once had someone try to tell me that ‘lol’ meant ‘league of Lucifer’ as opposed to ‘laugh out loud’, which is ironically exactly what I did when I heard this.
It’s almost like all religious shit is just made up to control people.
I wouldn’t disagree if I’m honest. You only have to look through history to find a multitude of examples.
These types of zealots take it to…weird levels. Not necessarily new or unprecedented, just…weird. Even more nonsensical than the base religion.
Core religion is, for the most part, the whack ass manipulation people pulled out of their ass that was deemed fit to put in written words and hold onto for more than the week or three after some hack-job con artist said it without thinking.
Illiterate thieves stuck at typewriters for millennia and they call it “scripture”.
i hate playing league of lucifer, i’m more of a dota guy (defense of the angels)
They do make shit up, but it becomes “canon” if enough people believe it. Turns out the latest Christian trend is to criticize “Pauline”. https://m.imdb.com/title/tt27433128/plotsummary/?ref_=tt_ov_pl
That was the answer they were looking for; They do this with every horror movie/ series, though.
“Canon”, not “cannon”. Two different words and spelled differently.
Nah, I’m very clearly talking about massive projectile firing cannons from the Bible.
They did this with ‘Lucifer’ too, a cop drama where the lord of darkness…solves crimes
If I ever encounter someone making stuff up like that, I want to ask them to back it up with the Bible, because I have a very strong feeling they’re going more on gut instinct than scripture.
I only hear about these kinds of people online, though. Well, except the one time I heard a guy condemning Magic: The Gathering, but he was at least making sensible points about it.
They just block you. They aren’t looking for a debate, they look to be validated through the identity they craft for themselves.
I meant in person. I haven’t had trouble dealing with this kind of person online in the few times I’ve interacted with them, probably because they give me the benefit of the doubt for being a Christian myself.
It’ll be like playing chess with a pigeon. They’ll just shit all over the board and strut like theyve won.
These people don’t follow the Bible. They follow what their pastor/parents/husbands say and hang onto every word unquestioningly like it was literally gospel. They won’t hear a single word against them or their teachings… They’re the definition of brainwashed.
Does it have to be xtian shit because I’m kind of working on a pastafatian spinoff that would work around worshiping delicious food and also maybe I could run a restaurant
For me it does, because Christianity is the only religion I can truthfully claim to be a fellow believer in.
You don’t believe good food is godly? Heretic! (ง’̀-'́)ง
Not godly, but a gift from God at least.
We’re gonna have to have this out over some gyros
If this isn’t fake,
What gets me is, this is coming from a fundamentalist, but no where in the bible is Halloween mentioned. They’re angry about fan fiction.
Lots of them don’t even read the Bible. At least in my experience. They just spew whatever they hear in their circles, a lot of which is headcanon. Heck they don’t even follow one of Jesus’s big things, love thy neighbor.
In what fictional D-list movie universe do they live in where satan impregnates a bride on Halloween?
Also I thought Satan was evil… wouldnt it make more sense for him to impregnate someone who isn’t his bride, perhaps even through non consensual means?
If you’re going to be the face of evil might as well do the sin part properly.
Right? At least make it sex before marriage!
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Every year. How many anti-Christs are there at this point?
Well obviously Satan gets an abortion every time
God damnit, take my upvote.
The irony is it probably stems from some pagan belief and has nothing to do with Christianity.
Halloween is not a fertility festival, it is a fall harvest festival. Like Oktoberfest.
The fertility festival is in Spring, and it’s called May Day.
*Beltane
The Oktoberfest is not a fertility festival. It was created to celebrate a royal wedding. The German fertility festival is called „Erntedank“ (~“thanks for the harvest”).
Yeah I know. It just doesn’t sound like anything in the Bible so I assume it’s some weird bastardization of paganism. Or just completely made up.
I’m only saying this because all the cool parts of “Christian” holidays like the Easter bunny and much of Christmas come straight from paganism.
I’m familiar with paganism, that doesn’t make sense either
Paganism is just a Christian catch-all though for all non-abrahamic religions.
umm through the lens of Christianity sure
It’s a word coined by Christians specifically to convey that idea, so yea that’s usually the lens we’d be talking about when using the term
Satan is married?
What a fucking fruitcake
If I got a letter like this I would put up a decoration of a big foam Satan “hugging” his bride. Since it’s not technically obscene they can’t remove it without banning all religious imagery in the area, win:win. I might even keep it up permanently.
