Most livestock are fattened on special feed so they taste good. The most expensive heirloom pigs are often finished on acorns and apples for this reason.

Ah yes, Bufferella, the fitness witch of the dark forest. She only eats unseasoned lean children’s meat and rice. Instead of turning princes into frogs she turns them into protein shakes

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disgruntledturtle

Why do witches like always wanna fatten kids up before they eat them?? fat is like the grossest part of meat

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equalistmako

“Why hello there, little children~. Please follow me to my magical… FITNESS ROOM. NO P A N S I E S ALLOWED BEYOND THIS POINT. LEAVE YOUR WHINING AT THE DOOR BECAUSE IT’S LEG DAY AND WE’RE ABOUT TO GET R-R-R-RIPPE D. ”

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seasonoftowers

Because they’re always cooking said kids in cauldrons and ovens aka long cooking times at lowish heat. If you do that to fatty meat, the fat melts completely and the meat gets tear-it-apart-with-a-fork soft. If you do it to lean meat, you get tiny little sad meat bits that bring no joy to anyone.

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thatickything

well you did ask

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defilerwyrm (Profile badge × 8)

Also there’s wisdom in fattening them up on sweets and other carbs. A meatless, carb-rich diet makes for more tender and flavourful meat.

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mrtacomam

you are arguing over the semantics of EATING CHILDREN

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kariachi

Well yeah, you gotta get this shit right or it’s a waste of 40-80 Ibs of meat.

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pulltheotheroneithasbellson

plus if you feed them a high fat, low nutrition diet, they’re easier to subdue and less likely to run away, which would be a concern for an elderly crone.

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blueandbluer (Profile badge × 10)

Thank you, Old Witch With Candy House side of tumblr.

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the-unnecessary-commentary

Tumblr is a multipolyhedron and we keep discovering newer sides. Either that or it’s an infinite onion.

430.5K notes

If cooked properly the fat can be one of the best parts.

The term “multipolyhedron” makes me irrationally angry.

You’ve got to cook them low and slow.