Even if we don’t have any, it doesn’t matter. We could build them so quickly that we are considered a “paranuclear” state, with an estimated nuclear latency of about 3 days. We have all the technology and infrastructure we need already and we know exactly what we would need to do.

This is why anyone who considers invading us needs to consider Canada as a nuclear state, even Russia’s “3 day special military operation” took a lot longer than 3 days – and by that time we’d be expected to have nuclear weapons ready to retaliate with. They thought terrorists with nuclear weapons were scary, imagine what Canadian resistance insurgents would do with them. Last time we were in a war we burned the white house down. This time we’ll have nukes. The Canadian occupation is going to last a very long time and be a very dangerous project for an invader.

The vast majority of America is learning what we history nerds figured out a while ago. There are two versions of the Canadian “sorry”:

• genuine, polite, and accommodating
• cheeky, with a wink and a nod, whilst spattered with blood, after just doing something that’s going to be specifically added to the Geneva convention, because they found a loophole while fighting fascists and mainlining maple syrup

we had

Wait, where did they go?

You think we have this many Tim Hortons because we like the coffee?? HAH.

I’ve seen some suspiciously big “maple trees” up there. I can believe this.

Excuse me, but ummmm, sorry … but Canadian ICBM eh?

Incredible
Care
Beyond
Measure