Half of the time I look forward to my death, it doesn’t scare me since I don’t see the real point of my life, what scares me is if my agony would be slow and painful.
But then what? I just stop existing and it’s like I fell asleep? Do I see light? Darkness? Nothing? What is nothing?
I think i’ll just stop existing at some point. Maybe there’ll be some pseudo visual sensations (‘light’) as I die but other than that I don’t expect any kind of ‘after life’.
I think we shouldn’t be scared of death but still try to enjoy our limited lifetime as much as we can. If you feel depressed continously, I can only advise you to seek help. Life shouldn’t be like that. If you have friends or family that you trust, tell them how you feel. In case you don’t, that’s okay. You may reach out to professional organisations or helplines instead. :)