Tldr I’m preparing for systems to fall apart, preparing for violence to increase, seeing friends moving away.

I have friends that are moving to states with shield laws. I’ll be seeing several of them that I’ve known for decades leave because there are just too many assholes here that are making their lives difficult.

I’ve fantasized about leaving the country. I’m tired of being an American. Tired of the guns, the ever growing trucks, our psychotic brand of Christianity. I expect the dangers to come will be stupid musdane things like e.coli outbreaks when the FDA collapses, another pandemic happens because the CDC is toast (avian flu is looking like a likely candidate), or desperate people being priced out of healthcare even more than they currently are and turn to snake oil. I’ve studied German and Japanese and have lived abroad, but Germany has its own far right problems and I didn’t do great living in Japan. Giving up friends, a common culture, and fluency in the local language are not light considerations, nor is the process of moving either physically or bureaucratically.

My partner and I have discussed what to do if we see violence against minorities (she is also a POC). The amount of white guys that think having a gun means they can be as much of an asshole as they want adds too much uncertainty for those conversations to be productive or realistic. We’ve discussed if we want to carry asps or mace or things like that. I’m on antidepressants so we will not be arming ourselves with firearms.

I’ve had conversations with my martial arts teacher about similar topics that ended up with him saying he’s at the point in his life where he doesn’t want to die, but is ready to do so if it comes to that sort of thing. His child has already had to leave the state because they’re nonbinary and a teacher.

Honestly, I hear people say they’re going to stay and fight and I think “Fight for this?” while gesturing to a country that couldn’t be bothered to show up to prevent Trump from getting elected again. Why would I want to keep it going? I know there are some good people but I don’t feel I can help many individuals against systemic problems.

I get my health insurance through the ACA. I expect that to be gutted. This will impact me and most of my coworkers. They may have to seek out employment that provides health insurance. I may be forced into domestic partnership or marriage to keep access to healthcare.