- cross-posted to:
- curatedtumblr@sh.itjust.works
- cross-posted to:
- curatedtumblr@sh.itjust.works
show transcript
lastfmuser
imagine if people still took last names from their trade like fisher, smith and fletcher. imagine some guy introducing himself to you as jonathan podcaster
scribblestheunicorn
It’s him,
Ted Talker
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Oh, you guys are thinking small.
Peter Executive (a vassal of Andy CEO). Mary Anesthesiologist. Alice S. Theorist. William Credit Authorizer. James M. Researcher.
The worst part is that, fun as this is, I’m having flashbacks of every time I’ve said something along the lines of “Matt from HR” and realizing that’s how that has always worked.
Renouned negotiator Matt Fromeichar
"The prefix “from” is how you know a family comes from the old middle class. Rich families used “the”, as in “Jane TheCeo or Peter TheChairman.”
“Working class families just don’t get a prefix. That’s why there are so many James Burgerkings out there”.
I see Jack TheRipper in a whole new light now
That’s excellent
The Scottish way of Mc, ie Peter McChairman flows better, imo
The Arabic Ibn works as well, unless I’m mistaken. Like McMurphy, IbnRasshad.
Correct me if I’m wrong as I’d like to know!
That’s how I always refer to my sysadmin colleagues when talking to others. Chris and Steve Classrooms, Bill Proxmox (née Vmware), and I’m Jack Networks-Linux. Not real names of course.
David Searchengineoptimizer, Mary Marykaycosmeticssales, Oleg Disinformationandpropagandabotprogrammer.
Nobody thought Disinformationandpropagandabotprogrammer would be a good governor of California, but he ended up being more moderate than expected.
No one at school was picked on more than Timmy OnlyFans.
Timmy Onlyfansson
Duh. Long day.
That’s why he started going by Timothy Olyphant in stead.
Oh, like Timothy Chaturbate/Chalamet?
Or the endboss of funny names: Syphilis Snugglesnatch, oh I mean Bumbleshack Calldispatch, oh I mean Benadryl Lumberjack, …
So he thought, until he met Bobby fudgepacker.
We all remember Scam Bankrupt Fraud, right?
yea wasn’t he the guy from FTX?
Yeah, the guy who never got out of Bronze in LOL.
To be fair, I never even got INTO bronze in LOL 🤷
Peter Unemployed.
Shameless pluck for “Qualityland” by Mark-Uwe Kling.
Don’t forget Martyn Congressman!
General Dragqueen 🫡
Really enjoyed that (audio) book recently. Nothing really new but well told and an easy listen
Look at me, I’m Bobby SitAtMyConputerAllDayAndAgeRapidly
We call him Little Bobby Tables.
Always. XKCD. Always.
Finally an accurate description for Jessica Fullstack Developer.
Does he wear socks?
No. Jessica Fullstack Developer is also opposed to pants (religious requirement).
Just ask Tim Apple how that feels.
one of the podcasts i listen to made a joke about Tim Onion buying Infowars and i am still cracking up over it.
also I’m super upset that someone already took the handle tim_apple on everything😤
It’s getting harder to discern reality from satire, but Tim Onion has actually been The Onion’s CEO’s name* ever since he bought that job. And he is trying to buy InfoWars. (And the company formerly known as Twitter has joined Jones’ fight to prevent it.)
*(his bluesky display name, at least)
thank you for making this even funnier for me
Even better, the parents of the Sandy Hook kids gave the Onion money won in the settlement to buy infowars.
Hello, I am Bob Bugmaker, your software developer for this project.
I’m Karl Projectmanager, and you’re ruining my timelines
Hey guys, I’m Jeremy Queaye. Did you get the dozen similar tickets I posted before lunch? I have a few more…
Imagine being the actual John Gamer.
John Fallout
war doesnt change
Etymology nerd on YouTube has a video on this! It’s basically how we put people in our phones now, such as Alex (neighbor) and Alex (work), two names I actually have saved in my phone. They’re more based on relationship than occupation now.
Edit: (neighbor) not (phone)
That makes sense considering in the past knowing who your town’s baker or other role was mattered. Now a days you don’t really know the names of the people you get food and things from so it’s shifted now to more relationship based.
Especially, since you may not know their last name if it’s a casual relationship.
Dolores del BullshitJob. Or Lola Shitposta.
María Tiktoker
John Uberdriver
Sam Gamereviewer
Shorten them and it works
Maria Toker
John Uber
Sam Vèiwer
John Oovoojaver
“Sup, I’m Lance Crypto!”
Dick Doctor Patrick Porn Star Caroline Creator Dan Designer Evan Entertainment Ian Importer Tim Apple
Ohh no look out, it’s Tim Moderator
