Yes, I know this is satire

  • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
    21·
    9 hours ago

    See, that’s good thinking!

    Me? I took my step child in, treated them well, taught them self defense and martial arts, then adopted them. HUGE mistake, now they bloody well know that they’re gong to inherit the house some day, and are playing the long game, waiting for me to die on my own instead of shivving me in the kidney like a proper stepdad should go down.

    Such a rookie error on my part.

  • Lazycog
    136·
    14 hours ago

    This dude is a god damn legend.

    My previous employer would print out those cringe success and team building story posts from linkedin and hang them around the office because we complained about the working environment, I love that there is good satire of those posts on linkedin now.

    • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
      7·
      6 hours ago

      My former employer had a stupid idea that alternating our stats and our company “core values” on tvs throughout the office was a good idea. Yeah, let’s just waste electricity on something no one wants to look at. I would just turn them off and say I valued conservation.

      Edit: it helped that I’d long before loudly established that I hated when people left the light on in the server closet. The closet was right across from my desk so I noticed every time.

    • BlueLineBae@midwest.socialEnglish
      40·
      13 hours ago

      The more things change the more they stay the same. Before LinkedIn there were motivational posters that were hung around offices. It didn’t take long for the demotivational poster to make its way into the culture just like these posts are now.

      • Lazycog
        4·
        7 hours ago

        Yeah felt like being in a fever dream sometimes honestly

  • Akasazh@feddit.nl
    221·
    13 hours ago

    The first two lines, together with your title did lead me to believe this story was going in a very nasty direction.