Like if I see a woman just walking alone, or in a group of other humans, meh. That’s not interesting.

But if she has a dog with her? NOW I’m interested in looking. Then she gets nervous as I approach, as confused as my gaze continuously goes farther down as we get closer. Until she realizes I’m more interested in her dog than her.

Yeah, ok, you’re wearing a lowcut top, with your boobs halfway out…but THIS A GOOD BOI!!!

So her intentions are counterproductive to the end result. The dogs are so much more interesting. But the vibe I get from these women is that they feel like they’re in danger…psssh, maybe in danger of me stealing their dog and running away!

Nah. I don’t have enough room in my place to steal a cities worth of dogs…but maybe I could start a business where you come in, and get to be in a room full of dogs, and you could pet them, and give them treats. But then you gotta walk them. And clean their poop on the walk. But if you don’t come back, we assume you adopted that dog. And we charge your credit card an adoption fee! And then we steal even MORE dogs!!!

And soon McDonalds buys us, and expands the business globally. So now we steal EVERYBODIES dogs! But then they have issues because now people are complaining that people are stealing their dogs. But you can’t like…OWN dogs, man!

And thats when the hippie movement gets involved, and they buy all the stock in this company, because we launched an IPO.

So now we sell cannabis and play No Doubt and Sublime in our compounds. And that’s when people start breeding dogs en masse at home, because our prices have gotten out of control over the decades as we’ve gained a monopoly over dogs.

And so with all this dog breeding going on, dogs have evolved to have a blue fur. And this pisses off the christians because it proves evolution is a very real thing. But the dogs also evolve to speak human language, walk on hind legs, and have opposable thumbs.

As the christians and the catholics are protesting dogs, the muslims take offense to the existance of the christians and catholics.

So now USA is going to war with all the muslim middle eastern countries. And since the dogs want no part of this, they learn to build and sail boats, and take to the shores in pursuit of Africa.

Finding very little resistance in their governments, the dogs unite all the African nations to be Doglandia. And they pay to scientificly advance their space craft. Because they now understand how crazy humans are. And they can build a new society on Mars.

So now in the year 2499 Mars declairs war on Earth. And that’s how humanity dies. All because I look at dogs and women are offended by that.