• drolex
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    3 months ago

    Howdy, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi. I’m a 27 year old Japanese Japamerican (western culture fan for you foreigners). I brand and wrangle cattle on my ranch, and spend my days perfecting the craft and enjoying superior American passtimes. (Barbeque, Rodeo, Fireworks) I train with my branding iron every day, this superior weapon can permanently leave my ranch emblem on a cattle’s hide because it is white-hot, and is vastly superior to any other method of livestock marking. I earned my branding license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day. I speak English fluently, both Texas and Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their cowboy code, which I follow 100% When I get my American visa, I am moving to Dallas to work in an oil field to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a cattle wrangler for the Double Cross Ranch or an oil rig operator for Exxon-Mobil! I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I rebel against my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond. Wish me luck in America!

    • Rolando@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      Texas and Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well

      Obviously fake. Texans don’t read or write.

      • TexasDrunk@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        My buddy likes to tell people the biggest exports from his hometown are illiteracy and methamphetamines.

    • Miles O'Brien@startrek.website
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      3 months ago

      I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town.

      It took me until this part to recognize it.

      “I own several kimonos, which I wear around town”

      Well done. 10/10.

      • drolex
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        3 months ago

        Not mine, alas. Probably from some forgotten 4chan genius.

          • skulblaka@sh.itjust.works
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            3 months ago

            4chan has long been the fountainhead of the internet. All memes and pastas spring from there in some fashion or another. But so do other, darker things…