That’s a horrible story. I had an aquaintance tell me when I was early 20s that when I had kids they wouldn’t be as valuable as our friends kids. Why? Because our friends kids are white.
And, at least in the US, that piece of shit wasn’t wrong, but I didn’t need to hear that.
Also why do you not need to hear that? Are you planning to ignore the challenges your kids will face? Like … what the fuck is with these parents cutting people out of their lives when they deliver bad news about their kids’ environment?
If someone came to me and said “Hey there’s a coyote outside tonight so don’t let your kids out”, and I said “Well maybe that’s true but I don’t need to hear that shit” then cut them out of my life, I’d see myself as having failed as a parent right there.
Your job is to keep your eyes open, not take steps to purge unpleasant information from
your life. I’d be disgusted if you didn’t have kids, but since you adopted the responsibility of having kids and are taking this comfort-over-awareness policy, it’s appalling.
Fuck both your ex-friend and the internet weirdo arguing with you about your family’s safety and value, holy shit. Who asked for their toxic parenting advice/analysis???
You made a decision based on your priorities, and I hope you and your family are doing well, and your child is THRIVING!
There is a gigantic difference between “there’s a dangerous animal outside that you can do something about.” And “your kid isn’t white (absolutely nothing you can do about that) so their life might suck more.”
One of those you can actually do something about, the other is just “sucks to not be white.” It’s pretty much useless negativity.
I didn’t need to hear it because I lived it and already knew the reality for non white kids growing up here. I didn’t need a middle aged white man telling me how it is. And I’d rather cut someone like that out of my life for myself, my kids weren’t born then, and they aren’t going to hear that story.
Your coyote analogy is flawed. This wasn’t an immediate threat that I ignored.
I know what my job is as a parent, probably better than you do.
That’s a horrible story. I had an aquaintance tell me when I was early 20s that when I had kids they wouldn’t be as valuable as our friends kids. Why? Because our friends kids are white.
And, at least in the US, that piece of shit wasn’t wrong, but I didn’t need to hear that.
Did he say valuable, or valued?
Also why do you not need to hear that? Are you planning to ignore the challenges your kids will face? Like … what the fuck is with these parents cutting people out of their lives when they deliver bad news about their kids’ environment?
If someone came to me and said “Hey there’s a coyote outside tonight so don’t let your kids out”, and I said “Well maybe that’s true but I don’t need to hear that shit” then cut them out of my life, I’d see myself as having failed as a parent right there.
Your job is to keep your eyes open, not take steps to purge unpleasant information from your life. I’d be disgusted if you didn’t have kids, but since you adopted the responsibility of having kids and are taking this comfort-over-awareness policy, it’s appalling.
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Fuck both your ex-friend and the internet weirdo arguing with you about your family’s safety and value, holy shit. Who asked for their toxic parenting advice/analysis???
You made a decision based on your priorities, and I hope you and your family are doing well, and your child is THRIVING!
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How the fuck is anything I said arguing about this person’s family’s value??
What the fuck?
you’re still here?
I hate being bullied. When I get treated with this level of disgust and contempt, it makes me feel undignified to just slink away.
Not sure if you read my last comment at all but it was a lot of effort to identify and step away from assumptions I made.
Sorry you’re an emotional wreck right now. Hope you feel better soon.
Not a lot of people here will say this, but props for recognizing you were in the wrong here. It’s not easy to do.
You should slap your father for not having the common decency to wipe you on the curtains.
There is a gigantic difference between “there’s a dangerous animal outside that you can do something about.” And “your kid isn’t white (absolutely nothing you can do about that) so their life might suck more.”
One of those you can actually do something about, the other is just “sucks to not be white.” It’s pretty much useless negativity.
I didn’t need to hear it because I lived it and already knew the reality for non white kids growing up here. I didn’t need a middle aged white man telling me how it is. And I’d rather cut someone like that out of my life for myself, my kids weren’t born then, and they aren’t going to hear that story.
Your coyote analogy is flawed. This wasn’t an immediate threat that I ignored.
I know what my job is as a parent, probably better than you do.