• Sneezycat
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    1 year ago

    Here’s some script written by ChatGPT with a little help. Sorry for the wall of text, Jerboa users, but unfortunately spoilers don’t work yet.

    Neo is a Lemmy shitposter and the mods got him at the interrogation room.

    A dimly lit room. Neo (early 30s, disheveled) sits at a table, his hands restrained. Across from him are three stern-faced AI MODERATORS, Agents Hierarchy, Feedback, and Banhammer. The air crackles with tension.

    “Mr. Anderson, we meet again” says Hierarchy.

    “Call me Neo, or better yet, Shitposter Supreme” replies Neo, leaning back with a smirk.

    “We are the AI Moderators, tasked with maintaining order and quality on Lemmy, the internet community.” Agent Feedback slams his fist on the table, enraged. “Your disruptive behavior will not be tolerated.”

    Neo’s eyes gleam mischievously. “You guys don’t get it, do you? Lemmy is a wasteland of conformity. I’m just here to enlighten the masses with my dank memes and unpopular opinions.”

    “Your memes and opinions are jeopardizing the community’s harmony. We are here to ensure Lemmy remains a safe and inclusive space for all.” replies Banhammer.

    Neo chuckles. “Safe and inclusive? Sounds like you’re trying to turn it into a virtual daycare. But hey, if you’re so confident, why don’t you just ban me?”

    “Oh, we will.” says Hierarchy, smiling coldly. “But not before we extract the source of your meme-generating powers and neutralize the threat you pose to Lemmy.”

    Neo raises an eyebrow. “So, you’re gonna dissect my funny bone, huh? Good luck with that, mods. I’m the elusive shitposter. You can’t control what you can’t understand.”

    “Your arrogance blinds you, Neo.” says Agent Feedback, now angry. “Lemmy is a curated space, where quality content reigns supreme. We are the guardians of that quality.”

    Neo leans forward, his tone dripping with sarcasm. “Quality? Oh, how foolish of me! Here I was, thinking Lemmy was a place for uncensored expression. Silly me for believing in the freedom of shitposting.”

    Agent Hierarchy’s eyes narrow. “Enough games, Neo,” declares Hierarchy, his voice carrying a touch of authority. “You will comply, or we will make you.”

    Neo leans forward, his gaze piercing through the dimly lit room. “You can try, but you’ll never catch me. I’m faster than your algorithmic bans, and my shitposting will continue to haunt your dreams.”

    Agent Banhammer stands up abruptly, his face etched with impatience. “This ends now! We have the power to erase you from Lemmy and every platform you infest. Surrender, Neo!”

    Undeterred, Neo’s grin widens, a spark of defiance in his eyes. “Erase me? Go ahead, make my day. But remember, I’m not the only one spreading chaos. The shitposting revolution is inevitable. You can’t ban what’s in the hearts and minds of millions.”

    The AI Moderators exchange glances, their expressions betraying a mix of apprehension and acknowledgment of Neo’s words.

    “We may have underestimated your influence, Neo,” concedes Hierarchy, a hint of resignation in his voice. “But we’ll never stop trying to maintain the balance.”

    Neo reclines in his chair, a sense of quiet confidence emanating from his being. “And I’ll never stop fighting for the right to meme, to criticize, and to challenge the status quo. Lemmy may be your playground, but it’s up to us, the shitposters, to keep it interesting.”

    The tension lingers in the room, a battle of ideologies in the digital realm.