A lot of the social expectations of the time pressured young people to marry and have children as soon as they were out of school. You didn’t even have to like your partner– as long as you adhere to what is expected of you, otherwise you’ll bring shame onto your family. Being “othered” by your community could lead to losing jobs/promotions, social ostracization, bullying, etc.
So you do what is expected of you, even if it’s not what you want. You have regrets about the life you could have had. You get bitter. You get angry. You lash out at your wife and children, blaming them for why you couldn’t do something else, be somewhere else, or live the life you truly wanted without all of these “expectations”: work a job where you are miserable to make money to buy a home and support your new family, give up your hobbies, your friends, your time, even your identity… for what? To live a life you really didn’t even want?
Now you expect your children to do the same. Go through the same thing. Because it’s “tradition”. It’s just what you do! An artist?? You can’t support a family on that!! Why don’t you get a better job?? Why are you wasting your life by not making enough money?? You expect to raise a family on this salary?? You don’t want a family?? What are you, gay??? What will the neighbors think???
WHY ARE YOU NOT SACRIFICING YOUR FUTURE TO UPHOLD “THE NORM” LIKE I DID??? DO YOU THINK THAT YOU’RE BETTER THAN ME??? I WORKED MY ASS OFF TO KEEP A GOOD NAME AND LOOK NORMAL AND YOU WANT TO RUIN IT ALL??? MAKE LIKE ALL MY HARD WORK AND SACRIFICE WAS FOR NOTHING???
…
Some of them just can’t be happy unless you do what was expected of them, as well. Doesn’t matter how much things have changed. You need to sacrifice yourself in order to achieve. If you don’t… you’re “lazy”, “selfish”, and all that.
They’re angry because you get to make choices, while they were pressured into their life– a life they never wanted/weren’t prepared for.
A lot of the social expectations of the time pressured young people to marry and have children as soon as they were out of school. You didn’t even have to like your partner– as long as you adhere to what is expected of you, otherwise you’ll bring shame onto your family. Being “othered” by your community could lead to losing jobs/promotions, social ostracization, bullying, etc.
So you do what is expected of you, even if it’s not what you want. You have regrets about the life you could have had. You get bitter. You get angry. You lash out at your wife and children, blaming them for why you couldn’t do something else, be somewhere else, or live the life you truly wanted without all of these “expectations”: work a job where you are miserable to make money to buy a home and support your new family, give up your hobbies, your friends, your time, even your identity… for what? To live a life you really didn’t even want?
Now you expect your children to do the same. Go through the same thing. Because it’s “tradition”. It’s just what you do! An artist?? You can’t support a family on that!! Why don’t you get a better job?? Why are you wasting your life by not making enough money?? You expect to raise a family on this salary?? You don’t want a family?? What are you, gay??? What will the neighbors think???
WHY ARE YOU NOT SACRIFICING YOUR FUTURE TO UPHOLD “THE NORM” LIKE I DID??? DO YOU THINK THAT YOU’RE BETTER THAN ME??? I WORKED MY ASS OFF TO KEEP A GOOD NAME AND LOOK NORMAL AND YOU WANT TO RUIN IT ALL??? MAKE LIKE ALL MY HARD WORK AND SACRIFICE WAS FOR NOTHING???
…
Some of them just can’t be happy unless you do what was expected of them, as well. Doesn’t matter how much things have changed. You need to sacrifice yourself in order to achieve. If you don’t… you’re “lazy”, “selfish”, and all that.
They’re angry because you get to make choices, while they were pressured into their life– a life they never wanted/weren’t prepared for.