I’ve had it up to here with people claiming they “love” Diddy Kong Racing when it’s painfully obvious they don’t even know how to play the game properly. Seriously, are we all playing the same game? Because most of you have no clue what you’re doing, and it’s infuriating!
First off, STOP mashing the acceleration button like a maniac. Ever heard of drift boosting? No? Shocking. Drifting is key to maintaining speed and navigating tight corners. If you’re just holding down A and praying, you’re doing it wrong.
Second, the freaking Zippers! Those little arrows on the ground are not just for decoration. You need to let go of the acceleration right before hitting them to get the full boost. Watching people just drive over them without a clue drives me nuts!
Third, the balloons. They’re not just random collectibles. Use the damn balloons strategically! The blue ones for boosts, the red ones for missiles—stop hoarding them and actually use them to gain an advantage. And upgrade them, for crying out loud! Do you even know how to stack the power-ups?
And another thing, adventure mode. It’s not just about racing in circles. You need to collect the Silver Coins and win the races to progress. I can’t count how many times I’ve heard people whine about being stuck because they don’t understand basic game mechanics. How hard is it to explore and complete the challenges? Pay attention to Taj’s tips, and maybe you’ll get somewhere.
Honestly, if you’re not willing to learn the mechanics and put in some effort, stick to Mario Kart. Diddy Kong Racing requires skill and strategy, not just mindless driving. It’s frustrating to watch people butcher this classic game because they don’t know what they’re doing.
Rant over. Learn the game or stick to something simpler. The rest of us would like to enjoy a proper race without being surrounded by clueless drivers.
I’ve never been present at the birth of a new copypasta before.
I’m fairly sure some of my rants over on reddit could have been copypasta.
From my rant on pro-wrestlers not utilizing the tag rope by the RULES, to BIG MAC not having the size necissary anymore to legitimately use that name, to why George Clooney (the smug asshole), is a disgrace to human life everywhere, and why Francine from American Dad was justified in her grudge against him.
The point is, I have opinions, and apperently nobody else has opinions with the same passion that I hold mine.
So the end result is instead of coming off like a perfectly rational passionately opinionated person, I instead come off like a crackhead ranting about pointless drivel.
And people get amazed how I go off for like 8 paragraphs about how Mr Rodgers is a god damn planetary treasure, but Barney the Dinosaur can piss off into extinction.
I will however maintain that Bert and Ernie may be a gay couple, but people who make fun of them for that are a far far bigger problem than puppets teaching same sex relationships to kids. Bert and Ernie at least care for each other. Yeah, Burt gets a little annoyed at Ernie sometimes, but what married couple doesn’t, ya know?
People always think Oscar the grouch is some undesirable blight on society. He’s just lived a hard life, and is literally homeless. I can understand why he’s so grumpy. You know who the real blight on society is?
George Clooney. Pay attention. He’s a smug asshole. Can’t play a decent Batman. Holds everybodies time hostage. Can’t even play a believable dog on South Park…what a smug asshole…