The first one, spaghettification is the result of the gravitational gradient across the object falling into the black hole.
From the perspective of an outsider, the opposite actually happens. The object falling in becomes more and more flat, dimmer and dimmer, and appears to stop moving, eventually becoming an infinitely dim 2d imprint on the surface of the event horizon
Spaghettification can actually occur outside the evet horizon in smaller black holes, as they have steeper gravitational gradients
Known for at least 3 years, and not a relative. It’s not very strict. I was a referee for someone who I see a few times a year at most.