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- 176 Comments
4·21 hours agoWelcome to Costco, I love you! If you raise the price of the fucking hotdog I will kill you! Figure it out.
Great write up but implantation in viable pregnancies should be occurring in the uterus, not the ovaries.
2·2 days agoI used to enjoy how they always use dumb photos of Leon in these articles. Now I just hate seeing his face.
21·3 days agoMine is the only front yard on my street that isn’t just grass and weeds since I ripped out my lawn. I was out hand weeding one day when the only neighbor without weeds in his lawn came over to patronize me (not the first time) about how he just uses roundup and doesn’t have to worry about the weeds!
A few weeks later I saw his yard crew show up while he was at work… he’s not even applying the roundup himself.
391·3 days agoAhh, how shall I do it? Oh, I know!
I’ll have Taylor Swift sign a guitar, a harmless little guitar! And then, I’ll put that guitar in a box, and then I’ll put that box inside of another box, then I’ll auction that box to myself and when I win it…
AHAHA! I’LL SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!!
It’s brilliant brilliant brilliant, I tell you! Genius, I say!
1·5 days agoMade out with a hot dog?? Oh my god, that was ONE TIME!
and to different degrees at different deaths.
Was that supposed to say depths?
3·8 days agoMy rules are if you make a web you can stay, but all running spiders will be put outside. No bed, no hanging above the bed, no towels, never on my body without permission, and if you don’t let me catch you with my homemade spider trap (a little bell jar and paper coaster), I’ll inform the cat of your whereabouts.
The owner of a company I worked for made it through interviews and the entire hiring process several times without telling people their hourly pay. I’d trained new employees who asked me how much they’d be making. When I mentioned it, the owner was like, “They never asked!” WHAT THE FUCK.
2·12 days agoLookin up to me like training Ai is free, when my copyright was out you wasn’t paying me.
Obviously it’s a Tool concert. You’ll probably see some Korn in the fields over by the Fear Factory. Hopefully the audience doesn’t Rage Against the Machine or there’ll be Megadeth!
4·17 days agoHow about instead of that, we give the entirety of Lana’i to Native Hawaiians via Hawaiian Home Lands and boot Larry Ellison out into the ocean on a raft or something.
You’re making me cry at work!