… I’m not reading every comment. My life doesn’t revolve around Lemmy.
Also, while we’re at it, you keep pointing out that I can’t see patterns or see the post properly. I have major cognitive issues especially when it comes to long texts, so PLEASE keep shaming me intellectually, lmao. You’re lucky, the mods might not ban you for ableism! /s
I don’t live on Lemmy, and if I did and were concerned about problematic stuff I’d never recommend Lemmygrad, you ask one genuine question and people act like you’re Satan.
Lemmy’s not a huge site to my knowledge… if it’s that bad people can either leave, make their own site, or apply to be an admin/moderator.
I’m addressing that OP seems to be telling LGBT people to leave Lemmy because someone called them a groomer and one of Mark Zuckerberg’s bots didn’t immediately put the transphobe in Lemmy jail.
And it looks like it was handled, no?
As a queer person that sees this shit all the time, I’m indifferent. People are shit, this isn’t new.
Ban them, yes, but there’s no such thing as a safe space lmao. People are always going to sneak their way in.
I’d rather develop a thick skin than constantly running away every time someone calls me a groomer (and I have been called one; I actually have someone who’s weirdly obsessed with me and continuing to make passive aggressive digs at me on Facebook lol)
If I’m not in a good headspace, I just tell them to die and click the block button… very easy (and inb4 it’s problematic to tell someone to die, do we really still care about the lives of bigots that try to drive people to suicide. Lmao)
(please note that I don’t know how reliable VOA is or isn’t - I’m just sharing. don’t shoot the messenger pls)
I think it’s fine as long as there’s intense socialization - after school programs, sports, volunteering, going to the park, play dates. As others have mentioned, don’t force it, but make sure it’s an option.
I think homeschooling should end at some point in high school, as colleges like to see how a student compares to the rest of the student body (I would advise my own children to start as freshmen as to avoid any future isolation).
I do wish I was homeschooled in elementary school. I asked to be homeschooled. I was bullied and abused. Middle school was okay. High school was wonderful and I’m glad I was not homeschooled at that time.
I do not have children due to my health issues. If I had children and no health issues, I think I would give my children the option of homeschooling or public/private school, as well as the option to alternate as much as is reasonable/allowed.
If you never existed, you wouldn’t know the difference.
i might get downvoted, but i think it’s a valid question. however, i think most people are, which makes it a bit of a strange question. i think it might be better in its own thread.
This thread’s kind of depressing to read. Come on people-- this is basic hygiene/consideration, it’s not rocket science. Brush your teeth (and tongue) when you wake up and before you go to sleep. Shower every 1-2 days (use soap everywhere below your face), and wear deodorant if you’re going to be around people especially indoors.
i’m hope i don’t come off as aggressive or anything, not my intention. just remember that those things aren’t easy for everyone (but i agree, definitely more considerate).
i don’t brush often due to many health problems, one major one being OCD. i can only brush during certain time slots, which rarely occur. i know my breath is atrocious. fortunately, i imagine a mask helps. i’m also not around people often.
i shower every 3-4 days, sometimes less often (though i don’t like showering less often). i also don’t use much soap unless i’m taking my eczema medication or waxing. and of course i use soap in the private areas, because i’ve had c. diff.
might sound gross, but i’ve asked honest people and they swear i don’t smell. and they’re the kind of people who have told me when i do smell. they know about my bathing habits. i just don’t smell (breath i’m sure stinks though, i haven’t asked because i know). if i did smell i would definitely do something about it. like our stomach, we have probiotics on our skin, and if our skin biome is healthy we generally won’t stink. now being that i have eczema i probably don’t have the best skin biome, but there’s certainly something good there. when my physical health issues were EXTREMELY severe and i hadn’t bathed in two months, my partner at the time told me i didn’t stink. and it wasn’t to be kind, she was genuinely surprised because, you know, two months without bathing, a person should probably stink.
there’s a guy in my building who always stinks. from conversations it seems he showers several times a day. i suspect he has a medical condition that i desperately wish he would get checked out, because i’ve nearly vomited around him several times. i know him well enough to know he’s on medicaid, so this is something that would be covered.
so everyone’s different. some of us can get away with showering less frequently, others can’t. i believe there’s a gene that makes your sweat not smell. just know your body and do your best not to be stinky imo
So, from one autistic person to another… smells can be rude.
Smells are a sensory thing for me. There’s a person in my building who sweats too much. His stink is everywhere and it causes me to gag.
It’s an evolutionary thing to generally be okay with our own personal smells, because it wouldn’t be helpful if we gagged at our own stink all the time (this is why the smell of our own poop usually doesn’t bother us. Also, I think mothers usually aren’t as bothered by the smell of their own baby’s poop for similar reasons). But someone else’s stink can tell us they’re unhygienic or sick.
You don’t need to smell like roses… you just need to not stink. There are unscented deodorants. I personally currently use apple cider vinegar as a natural deodorant. Although I’m starting to miss the convenience of regular deodorant.
I can’t tell you what to do… if you want to stink, stink. I’m just explaining why people like deodorant.
I’m not necessarily hurt, just mildly annoyed - mostly because on my end, I’ve made it clear that my life doesn’t revolve around Lemmy and even if it did, I’m not sure it’s very common for people to read through an entire comments section or memorize who wrote what comment. So it’s strange that that would even be some kind of argument.
Context is definitely important, but I feel like my points still stand - if it’s really that bad, people should leave, and they don’t need a post to tell them to leave if it is that bad. If they like Lemmy enough, they can work together on a new site, or apply for admin/moderator positions so that these things are taken care of.
Maybe it’s just some weird pet peeve. Like… I get to decide if Lemmy’s safe for me or not. I don’t need someone else to tell me just because they had a bad experience (and I don’t want to minimize that, because it is shitty, but again, this stuff sadly is EVERYWHERE).
I feel like it could’ve been better to say “Hey, it’s been a topic of discussion lately, and the mods are shit. How do we want to proceed?” Instead it just feels self-centered and demanding. I don’t like it. And that totally could be a “me” thing, I can be overly sensitive with tone.
(And as a bit of an aside, it may not be clear from how I type but I really do have cognitive issues - they’re extra bad today for whatever reason and trying to word things has been a pain whether it seems that way or not. It’s definitely a “processing only a few lines of text at a time” sort of day. No idea what’s making things worse, but I hope it clears up sooner rather than later)