John Malkovich’s voice and spectacular cadence in your head:

  • “It is estimated that Santa’s sleigh weighs 353 thousand tons. So, traveling at 650 miles per second would create such enormous friction that Santa and his reindeer would burst into flames. You understand? Like a meteor entering the atmosphere. This is a scientific fact.”
  • Skkorm@lemmy.world
    5·
    1 year ago

    Santa can see you when you sleep, knows when you’re awake, and visits every believer’s house at the same time. He’s not scientific. Santa is an egregorian God, created from nothing by the belief of his believers. Santa Clause is a vast, Eldridge being, set upon the earth to reward the kind and punish the selfish. Santa is everywhere. Santa is everything.

    So be good, for goodness sake.