Been there. My first week at uni. It’s late at night after the busses stop for the night. Walk homeward after a party with a cute girl from my initial study group. Live twice as far away as her. She tells me I can crash at her place and I accept as long as she isn’t bothered. She has an 80cm wide bed in a tiny room. I lay on the side with my back to her to give her as much space as possible and fall asleep instantly. Awkwardly thank her the morning after, get a weird hug, and leave to catch a bus home. Only realize years later when talking to a girl friend about me being awful at picking up obvious signs.
I feel like we’ve all been there; House-sitting a cousin’s house, invited a girl over. Cooked dinner for her, and showed her the guest bed she could sleep in. Went to my separate bed. She then says she’ll get lonely in there by herself so I get into her bed and spoon her falling asleep in record time. I’m not a smart man.
Perhaps she was Canadian and was just being polite?
Norwegian both of us.
It it was a sign, it’s not that obvious. I have slept in the same bed with women a few times (I am a man) and there was no intention other than sleep.
Same. Still together 10 years later.
So don’t leave us hanging, where does she sleep?
Lower bunk obviously
I met a kind woman at a party once. Went back to her place, she didn’t want to have sex so we just cuddled each other and fell asleep. It was actually really nice.
I did this once. My class was on a booze cruise, I had lost the keycard to my cabin, was gloriously drunk and all my buddies were somewhere. I ended up chatting with a group of girls in the cabin next door and I had had a crush on one of them for years.
Suddenly the other girls had to leave for some reason and there were just the two of us. I complained that I had nowhere to sleep since I lost my keycard, my crush looked me in the eyes for a long time and said “There is this bed, you know. You could sleep here.”
“I couldn’t possibly bother you with this, I’ll go and try find my friends. Thanks for the chat!” was my only response. I remember clearly how dumbfounded she looked as I left and waved goodbye.
I realized later what I had done. I have never forgiven myself.
You fool. You damn fool!
I just felt this pain to my core. Are we fucking stupid?
Better than to risk making a woman uncomfortable or worse: charged with sexual harassment.
Nearly all evidence seems to point to the answer “Yes”.
I stayed at a girls house once when I was sort of homeless and she told me if the couch wasn’t comfortable I could come join her in her bed whenever. I’m still kicking myself to this day for not getting up off that uncomfortable couch and joining her, the girl was WAY out of my league and I must have been actually retarded for not.
Sleeping over at a friend’s place, sleep on the floor. She asks if I want to share her bed I say it’s fine and sleep on the floor. There were more signs that day that I ignored.
