• FuglyDuck@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Anyone whose ever raised a kid, or a dog, or a cat…. knows that if you put out a shut load of food on a coffe table and say “you can have everything on the table except the pizza…” that of course they’re gonna eat the pizza.

    If their scripture is to be believed, their all-knowing, all-powerful god did all that, specifically to gaslight the fuck out of humanity- so that god could LARP as a white knight.

  • jedi@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    I can’t believe that I used to believe this.

    • Boozilla@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Same here. My excuse is early indoctrination by family… but even as a small child it smelled like bullshit.

      But then I bought into it hard in high school for a while there. So embarrassing.

  • Epicurus0319
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    1 year ago

    “Yo Abraham, please kill your son- PSYCH! I can’t believe you almost did that”

    • FuglyDuck@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Can you imagine Isaac’s POV?

      “Hey son. Skydaddy called. We gotta go on a trip.”
      “Dad, I’m hungry. I’m tired. I think I slept on a root or something…My feet are killing me… Why are we out here freezing?”
      “Skydaddy asked for a sacrifice from up on that mountain. Let’s get the wood and stuff.”
      “Hey, uh, dad… where’s the sacrifice.”
      “Don’t worry, son. Skydaddy will provide it…”.
      “Dad. Why are tying me up?”
      “Skydaddy said to.”
      “Dad… I don’t want to be a sacrifice… I don’t know who this skydaddy is… I dad don’t put me on there- dad what’s with the knife? Dad don’t do it!”
      [angel intervenes]
      “Hey look, sky daddy provided a ram instead! All cool?”

  • Rockyrikoko@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    For reference…

    And the Lord God said, “The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever.”

    Edit: Adjust formatting seconds after submitting

    • CrayonRosary@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Edit: Adjust formatting seconds after submitting

      What is the point of this?

      “Oh no! They edited their message 30 minutes after submitting it and totally changed their tone! Get the pitchforks!”

      No one would care. Edit your message all you want until it’s the best version of what you had intended to say.

  • mack7400@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    My favourite is Genesis 11:6, when people are building the Tower of Babel:

    And the Lord said, Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do: and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do. 7 Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another’s speech.

    So…yeah. Word of God.