Humans used to be so fucked up.
We still are, but we used to be too.
What’s fucked up about chaining up a corpse. Of course it doesn’t help anything but there is also no harm in it.
Someone once asked me if I’d like some glacier-covered land in Alaska. I said “no, but I would like some non-glacier-covered land in Alaska later, so yeah”
so what I’m hearing is that it worked.
Good day Sir. I have excellent merchandise to sell for you. My anti-tiger rock is guaranteed to keep all your tigers away! Please send money to this address! THANK YOU
thank you, but my current anti-tiger rock fulfills my present needs, and has the bonus of keeping other large members of the order felidae at a comfortable distance, too.
tigers aren’t even real
Then you require my tiger summoning slab of raw meat. If you combine that with the magic rock you will create a perpetual motion machine
But now it is released… 2024 - vampires…
Idk we have barely started the aliens arc.
It’s all gonna come all at once, vampires, aliens, fungi, zombies, trump…
In a world with two brothers…
Fungi!?
And they just unlocked it and let it out?! Goddamnit!
its probably a hiding vampire bat waiting to release covid-20
Wouldn’t it be COVID-23 now? Or does the bat go back in time and release another deadly virus during 2020? Oh god…
Noooo…you must not read from the book!
Klatu, Verata… Ni-humlenhdkidpwkehehkamajhen
Humans believing in fantasy beings to the point of murder…how dumb…
…wait a minute…
From what I can tell in the article the kid wasn’t murdered? Or did I miss something
Yeah, it just sounds like the kid died and this was a burial rite precaution.
I think the person above you just read the headline and made an assumption.
Maybe he thought the kid was to be a snack for the vampire
Santa Slayer!
“Look it might be a waste of a lock, but I don’t want some vampire kid killing me. Don’t let your last words be, ‘I should have listened to Jeeeeeeff!’”
“It’s pronounced Jeff”
This is the best summary I could come up with:
A 17th-century child’s remains were found padlocked to a grave in Poland - an act that is thought to be been to stop him rising from the dead.
Archaeologists uncovered the body of a six- to seven-year-old buried facedown with a triangular iron padlock under its foot.
It is believed the body, found in the northern village of Pien, was buried facedown and padlocked to the grave because of ancient supernatural beliefs in vampires.
The find was reported to have come from the same site as a year ago it was announced the remains of a woman had been discovered with a sickle around her neck and a triangular padlock on her foot.
The child was likely buried facedown to keep it from sitting up and exiting the grave to feed on living people, he added.
The child’s bones date from an era that viewed ghosts, zombies and other supernatural entities as being as real as humans.
The original article contains 348 words, the summary contains 157 words. Saved 55%. I’m a bot and I’m open source!
I’m just imagining a vampire waking, then sticking its butt up in the air in an attempt to sit up. Then cartooning question marks coming out in its confusion
Cool. I’m down for that when I die
A new market has appeared! Monetize! Monetize! Monetize!
deleted by creator
He didn’t rise from the dead, did he? We have no way of knowing how many times he tried.
It could be fun to have a corpse accidentally buried with an iphone then someone recovers the iphone and it’s listing steps from the corpse trying to rise
I want to be buried in a staged scene with a broken coffin lid and posed as if I’m clambering up through the dirt.
The headline is somewhat ambiguous, and seems to imply that the child was chained there to prevent a vampire buried below from rising. Knowing the child was the supposed vampire makes this a little less grim, because I was picturing some poor kid with his leg shackled to a headstone and left to die.
