• topperharlie@lemmy.world
    166·
    1 year ago

    what about stop gatekeeping stuff and profiling people in very limited groups?

    I’m a “cis dude” who has many times dressed up with feminine costumes, I also have lots of gay friends, I like jazz dancing, love going to see a good ballet, have gone to pride parades as an ally, called out homophobic comments in casual conversations… but guess what? I think some costumes are beautiful and I don’t want to limit myself to the ones in one gender.

    I wouldn’t mind being approached with transition information, I would politely explain that is not for me, but I don’t like the tone of the meme assuming that if you cross dress for Halloween you are either a trans person or a “bro” that wants to hurt LGBTQ+ people.

    I’m going to go wild and assume that is American, which always is “all or nothing” for them, and everything is a fight. Sometimes people just want to have fun. Leave us the fuck alone with all these rules of what is appropriate and what is not and gatekeeping everything. The American left DEI mentality is anything but inclusive, and is very confrontational to the point of working against what it is suppose to defend. You sound like the catholics of the 19th century (or the right winger catholic freaks of America that I see on TV)

    my 2 cents. sincerely, an European left winger

      • sock@lemmy.world
        5·
        1 year ago

        solving hate with hate is the human way

        for a group that wants everyone to love each other it has a lot of internal prejudice. im very pro lgbt and allowing men to have feminine qualities tho.

    • doggle@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      7·
      1 year ago

      The post neither implies nor states that ‘closet trans’ and ‘shitty cis’ are the only possibilities. There’s obviously a lot of cis men who would take the offer of transition information in stride. The OP isn’t judging you.

      As for the whole American thing, you’re right, you did go wild.

      • Globulart@lemmy.world
        5·
        1 year ago

        Not sure I agree there, the term win/win suggests they’ve listed both possibilities and both are a win. It implies a no lose scenario and therefore that all options have been presented.

        Buying a lottery ticket I could win £10 or I could win £10 million, it’s win/win!

  • thisbenzingring@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
    67·
    1 year ago

    I dressed up as a girl once for Halloween. I am a CIS dude and it was a very illuminating experience. The worst part of it was I must have awakened something in one of the people at the party because that dude would not leave me alone.

    Drunk dudes that won’t leave you alone and start crossing the line? I will never forget.

    No means No dammit.

  • IWantToFuckSpez@kbin.social
    63·
    1 year ago

    So do that only to male cross dressers? That’s not very equal treatment. Shit ton of women dress up as men during Halloween. Either do that dumb shit to all cross dressers or just let people have a good time.

  • leggysnakegirl@lemmy.blahaj.zone
    52·
    1 year ago

    Guys I don’t think “shitty cis dude” is supposed to imply that all cis dudes are shitty. Here it’s just a particularly shitty example of one.

  • JeeBaiChow@lemmy.world
    37·
    1 year ago

    Why can’t it just be a guy, simply dressing like a girl, ‘as a joke’? I mean does he have to be ‘curious’?

    • CheezyWeezle@lemmy.world
      22·
      1 year ago

      I never understood this obviously toxic take… saying that a cisgendered male crossdressing MUST be trans or trans-curious is exactly the same toxic energy as denying trans women’s existence.

      Are you folks really gonna say that, for example, Tim Curry is a closet Trans Woman? Because that’s the kind of thing being implied by that. Just let people do what they are gonna do and be what they are gonna be, leave your assumptions and judgements out of it.

    • Wanderer@lemm.ee
      13·
      1 year ago

      Guys dressing as girls has been bants forever.

      Really sad that people don’t want us to have that enjoyment anymore. It’s fucking a cultural heritage at this point to have fun dressing as a woman.

      • CheezyWeezle@lemmy.world
        6·
        1 year ago

        The post suggests that there are only two options in the scenario: they are either secretly trans, or they are a bigot trying to belittle and insult trans women. They don’t leave any nuance for a different option. Dare I say that they have a rather binary way of thinking…

        • zea@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
          3·
          1 year ago

          Ohhh, you read the “and if” as being exhaustive. If they said “either… or” then I’d be with you, but they just listed 2 possible scenarios.

          • CheezyWeezle@lemmy.world
            1·
            1 year ago

            No, I read the “win/win” as listing there only being two possible scenarios. They are saying you either win or you win. “Win/win” reads as “win or win”, so there is your “either… or”, but even then you don’t need to say specific words to be able to imply exclusivity.

            Example:
            “You must be joking, and if not, then you are a fool” Notice how in that sentence I did not use “either/or”, yet I still implied only two possibilities? Well, that sentence is homogenous to the sentence in OP’s post. I just used “if/then” instead of “either/or”.

            • zea@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
              2·
              1 year ago

              You said “and if not” which is binary, but “if [predicate] [x] and if [predicate] [y]” is not generally exhaustive.

  • zazaserty@discuss.tchncs.de
    37·
    1 year ago

    As a (I hope not shitty) cis dude, I don’t think I would get “furious”. Id probably laugh honestly. I get where this meme comes from but it gets a bit depressing when people get put into groups and defined by things such as being cis. I’m cis and I can’t change who I am, I know that there are many cis assholes but that doesn’t make me one. I hope that one day these types of stereotypes disappear and we can learn to finally get along. One day…

    • Wugmeister@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
      16·
      1 year ago

      If you wouldn’t dress up as a girl to be funny because the joke is trans people, you’re not a shitty cis. You can still dress up as a girl though, and you can absolutely do drag. Nobody is gatekeeping this. Stop apologizing.

  • Sombyr@lemmy.one
    37·
    1 year ago

    It thoroughly confuses me that many people have come to the conclusion that people saying “closeted trans people do X thing quite often” actually mean “all people doing X thing are trans.” I don’t know how half the replies here have come to that conclusion.

    This meme is reductive, only talking about it like it’ll be either a trans person or toxic cis dude, but it’s a joke. Jokes need to be some level of reductive to work. Otherwise you’re just describing a funny situation in real life. (Also, reread the meme. They never say those are the only two options, they just say those are two possibilities. That’s not the same thing.)

    But yeah, offering to help somebody who you think may be trans acquire resources isn’t a bad thing just because the majority of people won’t end up needing it. Just politely decline it if you don’t. Nobody’s trying to force you to be trans. They’re just trying to help the people that are.

    • neeeeDanke@feddit.de
      7·
      1 year ago

      Tweet saying:

      If you encounter a guy dressed as a girl “as a joke” this Halloween offer them transition info and be welcoming because if it’s an exploring trans girl, it’ll be helpeful and if it’s a shitty cis dude, he will be furious. It’s a win/win.

      As many other comments here (really liked the way /u/opperharlie put it) I think it’s a shitty take. First of all, there is drag which is totaly valid. But I think crossdressing in genereal -if it’s not done derogatory (which I never experienced)- is a totally fair costume. I am certain I am cis and have dresses feminin for costumes a few times and don’t see what the problem with hat is.