I get it, on rare occasions, surprises can be nice. But if you’re gonna make a sudden move that your partner doesn’t know about, you’re taking a gamble on whether or not they’ll like it. In some cases, there’s even a consent issue if you suddenly do something that might cause discomfort or increased pleasure depending on the person. So if you’re thinking of trying something new that you haven’t discussed with your partner beforehand, and you’re already in the act, ask them first! It’ll feel even better for both of you knowing that you’re both in the same page about it. Consent isn’t just necessary, it’s sexy too!
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Although I agree in principle, “I wish he’d stop fucking asking” is a sentence I have heard in this context.
So my advice is to talk about that, at least in a long term relationship.
If someone wants you to “stop asking” and just do stuff, that should be communicated directly instead of complaining to other people.
Yes. I asked her: “does he know that?”.