This has been a common repost. The first time I saw it the story was the person messaging was a Tinder match and this was there first text conversation.
The ‘Yeah I’m feeling nice today’ indicating that they would pay for it is basically some level of encrypted information.
As an experienced adult, i did understand the implication. But when it turns out they didn’t pay i would more likely second doubt myself.
After all whats more likely,
that I misunderstood the information/ wasn’t clear about what i wanted. Which is a daily occurrence.
Or that the other person choses to “prank?” me instead of just saying “no, pay for your own food”
I wouldn’t beg for free food but if i did i would have said “buy and order” me a pizza to be as clear i am asking for both those things.
The ‘Yeah I’m feeling nice today’ indicated they were going to pay for it.
People suggesting to eat somewhere really stress me out sometimes because the topic of payment and “does this place fits everyones budget” are rarely made explicitly clear.
It’s incredible to me that most people just presume, from context, having zero evidence that what they’ve presumed is correct, can go their whole lives, thinking like that.
I’m not autistic, that I know of, but I am ADHD, and I’m extremely analytical. All the people saying that the message “I’m feeling generous today” (or whatever) was an agreement to pay for the food, that all makes me crazy… It’s like, no, it’s not. They’re making a benign and mostly unsolicited comment about their current mood. It has nothing to do with anything beyond that.
The fact that people not only make that assumption, but also can’t seem to fathom any other way to interpret it, just… What the hell…
As you are adhd the chance you can relate closer to people on the spectrum then neurotypicals is quite normal. We are both part of the neurodivergent family and there can be significant overlap as I explained somewhere in a comment below.
I guess the point was autists would act just like the person ordering the pizza, because they would take ‘order’ literally without being explicitly told to pay for it.
Almost all people seem to have neurological differences that deviate from “the norm”, turns out the brain is much more dynamic then previously thought. While we can make generalizations for example:
“The Cerebral cortex Broca area play a big role in speech function and is located in the frontal part of the left hemisphere of the brain” However we know that for at least a small portion of left handen people it isn’t and these same functions are instead performed in the right hemisphere. Which is not a recognized disability nor carries a neurological label but will ultimately still have some effect on the persons behavior and functioning.
I believe tiny deviations from the “default blueprint” are a normal part of nature and one of the drivers of evolution but also some disabilities.
When a person has enough connections that deviate from the norm (or simple a few extreme deviations) they may react completely different to the norms people have so long sought to standardize as they where building the social structures of society. And we have tried to standardize those people under a list of labels/disabilities.
I am personally a huge fan of the term neurodivergent which originated from within the autistic community and i did contemplate using jt here.
It says as much as “different from the norm” without assuming it to be a net negative which is the case for the names of disabilities.
I do find the term autism is still a good well understood tool to refer to neurodivergent traits that are commonly seen and understood with those that society recognizes as autistic like myself. For example taking information more literally and struggling with subtext and coded languages.
To conclude, in absolutely agree with you. All people can have neurological connections that cause mis-understanding. Often its a case of finding the people
that have brains compatible with your own. (Not necessarily similar brain) but in the context i did think my use of “autistic” was the best way to provide information. Some people who don’t recognize a term as neurodivergent may still be searching for answers about their own brain after all.
As mentioned in one of my replies, that can also just mean feeling generous with one’s time, and being willing to fill this random request of placing an order for someone for whatever reason. “Generous” doesn’t automatically mean being willing to finance something.
The ‘Yeah I’m feeling nice today’ indicated they were going to pay for it.
This has been a common repost. The first time I saw it the story was the person messaging was a Tinder match and this was there first text conversation.
That’s a pretty rough first impression to make on someone you’re trying to date, haha!
This is why autistic people have trust issue.
What does autism have to do with this?
The ‘Yeah I’m feeling nice today’ indicating that they would pay for it is basically some level of encrypted information.
As an experienced adult, i did understand the implication. But when it turns out they didn’t pay i would more likely second doubt myself. After all whats more likely, that I misunderstood the information/ wasn’t clear about what i wanted. Which is a daily occurrence. Or that the other person choses to “prank?” me instead of just saying “no, pay for your own food”
I wouldn’t beg for free food but if i did i would have said “buy and order” me a pizza to be as clear i am asking for both those things.
The ‘Yeah I’m feeling nice today’ indicated they were going to pay for it.
People suggesting to eat somewhere really stress me out sometimes because the topic of payment and “does this place fits everyones budget” are rarely made explicitly clear.
It’s incredible to me that most people just presume, from context, having zero evidence that what they’ve presumed is correct, can go their whole lives, thinking like that.
I’m not autistic, that I know of, but I am ADHD, and I’m extremely analytical. All the people saying that the message “I’m feeling generous today” (or whatever) was an agreement to pay for the food, that all makes me crazy… It’s like, no, it’s not. They’re making a benign and mostly unsolicited comment about their current mood. It has nothing to do with anything beyond that.
The fact that people not only make that assumption, but also can’t seem to fathom any other way to interpret it, just… What the hell…
As you are adhd the chance you can relate closer to people on the spectrum then neurotypicals is quite normal. We are both part of the neurodivergent family and there can be significant overlap as I explained somewhere in a comment below.
You’re absolutely correct. I was aware of this prior, but I appreciate your comment regardless.
I guess the point was autists would act just like the person ordering the pizza, because they would take ‘order’ literally without being explicitly told to pay for it.
Nothing, people like bashing on autistic people for…some reason
This is why
autisticpeople in general have trust issues.FTFY
FYI, My actual opinion on this:
Almost all people seem to have neurological differences that deviate from “the norm”, turns out the brain is much more dynamic then previously thought. While we can make generalizations for example:
“The Cerebral cortex Broca area play a big role in speech function and is located in the frontal part of the left hemisphere of the brain” However we know that for at least a small portion of left handen people it isn’t and these same functions are instead performed in the right hemisphere. Which is not a recognized disability nor carries a neurological label but will ultimately still have some effect on the persons behavior and functioning.
I believe tiny deviations from the “default blueprint” are a normal part of nature and one of the drivers of evolution but also some disabilities.
When a person has enough connections that deviate from the norm (or simple a few extreme deviations) they may react completely different to the norms people have so long sought to standardize as they where building the social structures of society. And we have tried to standardize those people under a list of labels/disabilities.
I am personally a huge fan of the term neurodivergent which originated from within the autistic community and i did contemplate using jt here. It says as much as “different from the norm” without assuming it to be a net negative which is the case for the names of disabilities.
I do find the term autism is still a good well understood tool to refer to neurodivergent traits that are commonly seen and understood with those that society recognizes as autistic like myself. For example taking information more literally and struggling with subtext and coded languages.
To conclude, in absolutely agree with you. All people can have neurological connections that cause mis-understanding. Often its a case of finding the people that have brains compatible with your own. (Not necessarily similar brain) but in the context i did think my use of “autistic” was the best way to provide information. Some people who don’t recognize a term as neurodivergent may still be searching for answers about their own brain after all.
As mentioned in one of my replies, that can also just mean feeling generous with one’s time, and being willing to fill this random request of placing an order for someone for whatever reason. “Generous” doesn’t automatically mean being willing to finance something.
Yeah, but also, order me a pizza is different from buy me a pizza.
I’m feeling nice I’ll order it for you is still pretty generous.
Exactly!