Hold on there…

• +1 Don’t drink - You aren’t going to drive us into a pole from drinking alcohol
• +1 Atheist - You aren’t going to try and govern our lives by some ancient full of crap text
• -1 Don’t coffee - You could still drive us into a pole if you’re sleepy
• +1 Don’t sports - You aren’t going to abuse your kids when your team loses… again… and again.

Sounds like you are actually coming out ahead here.