with all the choices I have, I don’t really know what to choose, there is Matrix, Signal, Briar, Jami, and alot of other privacy focused messenger app that I haven’t even heard of.
need to discuss things with people on the internet, mostly people who already knows privacy stuff.
I need to choose one that’s the most popular one to avoid having people making accounts, what’s the most commonly used (private) messenger app?
IMHO the best option would be to self-host a XMPP server and use an app like Conversations (Free on F-droid). You can make a free account on blabber.im to see it in action. Other community run XMPP servers should also be fine.
Self-hosting a Matrix server is also an option, but not as easy or low resource as a XMPP server like Prosody/Snikket or Ejabberd. Using a free Matrix account somewhere is less recommended, but ok as long as you are aware that the network is quite centralized and your identity & meta-data will end up on the matrix.org servers in the UK one way or the other.
As for centralized commercial apps: Threema is probably the best option right now, but it isn’t free (but with open-source clients). Signal is more popular, but hosted in the US on AWS/Google servers and IMHO fake open-source. Signal also requires a phone-number which is a serious privacy issues in most countries.
Last but not least, Telegram might be the lowest friction entry option for your friends, but it has several privacy draw-backs and thus only an option of last resort (still better than WhatsApp though).
I thought I deleted this post… oh well. I think I’ll go with XMPP/Matrix combination. thanks for the recommendation.
It was displayed as deleted shortly after posting my reply. Not sure what happened exactly.