The LGBTQIA+ community contains so many diverse identities and perspectives that, sometimes, groups can be overlooked. This is certainly true for asexual and aromantic communities – demographics whose experiences are often misunderstood or misinterpreted, both within and out with the queer community.
However, to truly understand the spectrums of desire and love, it’s crucial that we educate ourselves about and advocate for ace and aro folks. Whether it’s reading about identities like fraysexual and demisexual that sit on either end of the ace spectrum, correcting harmful assumptions that ace or aro identities can be “cured”, or signal-boosting the work of ace-aro activists like Yasmin Benoit, there is so much that allies can do.
When it comes to aromantic identities, there is particularly limited visibility in the media and wider culture. For questioning folks, that means that there is little representation out there that validates or mirrors their perspective. Our society is so obsessed with the idea of romantic love as an ideal that most alloromantic (non-aromantic) individuals may not even know about alternative models of experiencing love.
Do some people interpret it as you being psychopathic/sociopathic?
I don’t really use those labels when describing myself IRL; I just say I’m not really interested in things like dating if I’m asked, but that rarely happens.
There’s no way for me to really know what’s going on in their heads, frankly.
What I can tell you, at least, is that I have had some partners respond to this with shock and negative emotions. They often feel that it is somehow invalidating how they feel about me. On more than one occasion I have been described as romantic which is perhaps where this feeling of invalidation is based. I very much enjoy intimacy, I simply do not experience a “romantic” attraction. I still enjoy doing many of the things that are considered normal in what is described as a “romantic” relationship (I use this term because I’m poly, I’m not coupled with anyone, just partners).