I actually did this to a customer once. I would say I’m not proud of this, but that would be a lie. I’m still just chuffed to bits over it, and this was easily 15 years ago or more.
The background behind this one was somebody ordered food plus a two liter Pepsi. About two hours after I made the delivery this customer called the restaurant up and gave us a raft of shit about how we delivered her a regular Pepsi and we “should have known” that she was diabetic and can’t drink no regular Pepsi, and she could have died, and we’re all stupid motherfuckers, and we need to bring her back a Diet Pepsi right now or she’ll sue and then She’s Never Ordering From Us Again.
Her ticket quite clearly said regular Pepsi. Our calls were recorded; I pulled the call audio and she did indeed order a regular Pepsi and didn’t say jack monkey squat about diet. Obviously I was not able to confirm this while I was on the phone with her, but it was nice to be vindicated. I told her we’d send somebody out anyway to switch her bottle for a Diet Pepsi if it would make her so goddamn happy, but she’d have to give back the regular one – unopened. This prompted her to cuss me out again. She said she didn’t want to deal with our “dumb asses” anymore plus now it was “late” (well, you’re the one who waited two hours to complain, lady) so she would put the wrong one outside and we could just leave the right one on the porch.
Of course I got out there and the two liter bottle of Pepsi she “couldn’t” drink was mostly empty, sitting there on the porch steps as bold as brass.
Fair enough; I carefully slipped the anti-tamper ring and cap off of my fresh bottle of Diet Pepsi with the tip of my knife, smashed a Mentos flat so that it rested snugly in the cap, screwed it back on, and stuck it upside down between her door and screen door, rang the doorbell, and left.
I have absolutely no idea what happened with that bottle and I don’t care, but I can tell you didn’t go off bang anywhere I could see or hear it before I scarpered. And she never called back. You don’t get nothing but trouble from the Deliverator.
(And yes, she did continue to order from us. Most people who threatened us with Never Ordering From Us Again did not follow through.)
Fair enough; I carefully slipped the anti-tamper ring and cap off of my fresh bottle of Diet Pepsi with the tip of my knife, smashed a Mentos flat so that it rested snugly in the cap, screwed it back on, and stuck it upside down between her door and screen door, rang the doorbell, and left.
Please don’t actually tamper with stuff like that.
You should’ve just put it near the car’s heater turned up all the way, then violently shake it before leaving it at the door, and if theres a storm door that opens outwards, put it directly next to the door, so when they open it, it gets knocked over.
Actually tampering with the contents is crossing a line, and is also illegal (whereas just shaking the soda and heating it up is still legal)
“Here’s your Diet Coke and Mentos, sir.”
I actually did this to a customer once. I would say I’m not proud of this, but that would be a lie. I’m still just chuffed to bits over it, and this was easily 15 years ago or more.
The background behind this one was somebody ordered food plus a two liter Pepsi. About two hours after I made the delivery this customer called the restaurant up and gave us a raft of shit about how we delivered her a regular Pepsi and we “should have known” that she was diabetic and can’t drink no regular Pepsi, and she could have died, and we’re all stupid motherfuckers, and we need to bring her back a Diet Pepsi right now or she’ll sue and then She’s Never Ordering From Us Again.
Her ticket quite clearly said regular Pepsi. Our calls were recorded; I pulled the call audio and she did indeed order a regular Pepsi and didn’t say jack monkey squat about diet. Obviously I was not able to confirm this while I was on the phone with her, but it was nice to be vindicated. I told her we’d send somebody out anyway to switch her bottle for a Diet Pepsi if it would make her so goddamn happy, but she’d have to give back the regular one – unopened. This prompted her to cuss me out again. She said she didn’t want to deal with our “dumb asses” anymore plus now it was “late” (well, you’re the one who waited two hours to complain, lady) so she would put the wrong one outside and we could just leave the right one on the porch.
Of course I got out there and the two liter bottle of Pepsi she “couldn’t” drink was mostly empty, sitting there on the porch steps as bold as brass.
Fair enough; I carefully slipped the anti-tamper ring and cap off of my fresh bottle of Diet Pepsi with the tip of my knife, smashed a Mentos flat so that it rested snugly in the cap, screwed it back on, and stuck it upside down between her door and screen door, rang the doorbell, and left.
I have absolutely no idea what happened with that bottle and I don’t care, but I can tell you didn’t go off bang anywhere I could see or hear it before I scarpered. And she never called back. You don’t get nothing but trouble from the Deliverator.
(And yes, she did continue to order from us. Most people who threatened us with Never Ordering From Us Again did not follow through.)
Please don’t actually tamper with stuff like that.
You should’ve just put it near the car’s heater turned up all the way, then violently shake it before leaving it at the door, and if theres a storm door that opens outwards, put it directly next to the door, so when they open it, it gets knocked over.
Actually tampering with the contents is crossing a line, and is also illegal (whereas just shaking the soda and heating it up is still legal)
Thanks for the morning read.