Putin: “Give us all the territory we took, make Ukraine retreat. Get us intel on their positions so we can take them out when they refuse.”

Trump: “Terrific, great plan. Yes sir.”

Putin: “We will use nuclear warhead on Kyiv if it’s not enough. You will respond with one in Kursk from Baltic submarine. Make sure Europe understand not to involve themselves.”

Trump: “Absolutely. Nukes. Great weapons.”