My main conclusion was that it was nice of them to give Ridley Scott a tonne of cash to remake the first film but with an upbeat ending this time and pretending that it’s a sequel even if the rehashed plot points don’t really work in the context. However, don’t worry about that they’ve turned it up to 11! Instead of the Romans fighting unwashed Germans in a forest, we now have a huge invasion from sea! You liked tigers and chariots in the arena, now we have rhinos and sea battles! You were thrilled by the fridging of one woman to give the main character his motivation, in GladIIator they fridge two!
🤌🏼your review is ::chef’s kiss::
Thank you.
Late the the party, just saw this a couple days ago. What a ridiculous film.
Was it at least enjoyable, or not even?
My wife enjoyed it as a simple popcorn flick, I enjoyed ranting about it on the drive home.
spoiler
“Ok guys, listen up! Emperor’s been killed, and we got a whole bunch of dead senators, gladiators, and soldiers in the Colosseum. I know you guys have probably heard there’s an army of 5,000 soldiers marching in a straight line right outside the walls and also that there’s another army of 6,000 people that just got mentioned in the previous scene, but still we got a job to do. We gotta get these dead bodies outta the Colosseum right this instant!”
“Boss, you want us to clean the whole Colosseum right now, when it was loosely implied that the whole city was fomenting a riot?”
“You’re goddamn right, Wazlowski! All the bodies, weapons, any debris, I want it gone. Now!”
“Alright, boss, you got it. What do you want us to do with the giant platform that all the senators and that old lady were tied to? Obviously we’d remove that, too, right?”
“Don’t get smart with me, Wazlowski. Unchain all the dead senators, have someone climb up onto the giant platform and untie the dead broad, remove absolutely every bit of the carnage that’s still raining down all around us, but don’t move the giant platform one inch! That gladiator who got on a horse and chased Denzel Washington out of here a few minutes ago even though it doesn’t make any sense that he and Denzel both ended up riding horses out of the same gate based on where they were literally seconds earlier, that guy may want to come back here immediately after the battle to gently touch the giant platform with his hand and stoically stare off into the distance, considering all he’s lost…and all he’s gained.”
