I’ve lived in the deep south for over 40 years in small towns, and have never witnessed a single instance of any minority being denied service at any establishment.
Has anyone reading this actually ever seen that happen in real life?
This is anecdotal but I have seen this as a gay man living in Ohio. My whole family is from the sticks but I live just outside a major city now. There’s a pizza place back home that my fiance and I can’t go to because they won’t serve him (he is, admittedly, quite fabulous). I can go alone, because I blend in, but him they will just quietly ignore and occasionally glance over to check if he’s gotten the hint yet. No yelling, no epithets, but no service either.
Sad to hear these stories, but I did ask for it. I can’t discount your experience because mine is as anecdotal as yours.
I hope these stories are rare though, and I also hope that anyone who does experience any of these kinds of discrimination will put the businesses “on blast” as the kids say by posting their experiences on social media to give them the stink that they deserve.
Thanks, I didn’t realize it happened either until one day it happened to me. Then it happened again, and again. Not frequent, and not always as tangible as being denied pizza, but little things here and there in the way people look at me and treat me that only started happening after I came out. I have yet to experience any actual violence, but the general vibe is such that I don’t feel comfortable being out and am considering moving to a more friendly state.
I don’t think that’s homophobia as much as rude staff who ignore people who aren’t assertive. I’m not stereotypically gay/flamboyant but get ignored a lot in restaurants and stores because I’m somewhat quiet when I’m alone.
While I appreciate where you’re coming from, I can assure you that, in this scenario, it was very much a case of homophobia. Unless everyone there grew new personalities at the same time that I came out.
Nope, what Prussia_X86 said sounds very much like homophobia. They won’t serve his flamboyant fiance because he looks and acts “gay”, and if they knew that Prussia_X86 was gay they wouldn’t serve him either. While not all gays are as flamboyant as that his fiance sounds like, plenty are, and while not all flamboyant men aren’t gay (or even attracted to men among other genders), a good chunk are. There’s a reason a lot of people assume that flamboyant men are gay, and it’s because a lot of them are.
I grew up in FL and was denied service 2 separate times for being mixed race. This occurred in the early 2000s. Both times the restaurants were subtlety segregated and they refused to seat us in either section.
Yep. I grew up in the mountains of NC. When I was a kid, the mayor of our town was the head of the local KKK sect. Needless to say, non-white people were generally not found in that town.
Attitudes did change over the following years, so that was nice.
I am not from the deep south but close enough. I haven’t seen anything like what people online seem to think it’s like around here, it’s overly exaggerated. That’s not to say discrimination doesn’t ever happen, I’m sure there’s pockets here and there. I personally don’t know a single person who is ok with that crap.
It might be because you aren’t a visible minority that you haven’t witnessed it, you don’t notice it happening because it’s not on your radar that it could happen.
I’ve lived in the deep south for over 40 years in small towns, and have never witnessed a single instance of any minority being denied service at any establishment.
Has anyone reading this actually ever seen that happen in real life?
This is anecdotal but I have seen this as a gay man living in Ohio. My whole family is from the sticks but I live just outside a major city now. There’s a pizza place back home that my fiance and I can’t go to because they won’t serve him (he is, admittedly, quite fabulous). I can go alone, because I blend in, but him they will just quietly ignore and occasionally glance over to check if he’s gotten the hint yet. No yelling, no epithets, but no service either.
Sad to hear these stories, but I did ask for it. I can’t discount your experience because mine is as anecdotal as yours.
I hope these stories are rare though, and I also hope that anyone who does experience any of these kinds of discrimination will put the businesses “on blast” as the kids say by posting their experiences on social media to give them the stink that they deserve.
Thanks, I didn’t realize it happened either until one day it happened to me. Then it happened again, and again. Not frequent, and not always as tangible as being denied pizza, but little things here and there in the way people look at me and treat me that only started happening after I came out. I have yet to experience any actual violence, but the general vibe is such that I don’t feel comfortable being out and am considering moving to a more friendly state.
I don’t think that’s homophobia as much as rude staff who ignore people who aren’t assertive. I’m not stereotypically gay/flamboyant but get ignored a lot in restaurants and stores because I’m somewhat quiet when I’m alone.
While I appreciate where you’re coming from, I can assure you that, in this scenario, it was very much a case of homophobia. Unless everyone there grew new personalities at the same time that I came out.
Idk that’s fair. But there is a big difference between how people treat others that I see and how they treat me at some restaurants.
Nope, what Prussia_X86 said sounds very much like homophobia. They won’t serve his flamboyant fiance because he looks and acts “gay”, and if they knew that Prussia_X86 was gay they wouldn’t serve him either. While not all gays are as flamboyant as that his fiance sounds like, plenty are, and while not all flamboyant men aren’t gay (or even attracted to men among other genders), a good chunk are. There’s a reason a lot of people assume that flamboyant men are gay, and it’s because a lot of them are.
What I’m saying is that there isn’t a reason to assume that’s why they were ignoring him.
I grew up in FL and was denied service 2 separate times for being mixed race. This occurred in the early 2000s. Both times the restaurants were subtlety segregated and they refused to seat us in either section.
Yep. I grew up in the mountains of NC. When I was a kid, the mayor of our town was the head of the local KKK sect. Needless to say, non-white people were generally not found in that town.
Attitudes did change over the following years, so that was nice.
I am not from the deep south but close enough. I haven’t seen anything like what people online seem to think it’s like around here, it’s overly exaggerated. That’s not to say discrimination doesn’t ever happen, I’m sure there’s pockets here and there. I personally don’t know a single person who is ok with that crap.
It might be because you aren’t a visible minority that you haven’t witnessed it, you don’t notice it happening because it’s not on your radar that it could happen.