I had a lovely day out with friends but struggled to get any enjoyment out of it, and to focus on the moment (very brainfoggy). Made me realise I’m further down the depression path then I thought. I’ve had a few big stressful things going on that have made me anxious and down. But it’s gone beyond external - haven’t felt this disconnected and …grey… for a long time.

I came home and went straight to bed - just felt completely overwhelmed. Have managed to make dinner finally by putting on a podcast for company. And that’s rice and dal so I’ll get lunch out of it too. I need to plan out my work week - it’s busy and I like to get ahead of it on sunday but I’m just burned. No I can’t realistically take a mental health day or three right now either (for reasons, trust me)

So. this week I will:

• Eat breakfast and lunch and at least a light dinner. I can boil an egg if needed
• Sleep by 10pm and I will be out of bed by 6:30. If I can, go for a walk. If not, just stand outside for a few moments.
• keep cutting back on sugar and lay off the alcohol for the week - neither help
• Take meds and add in a multivitamin (I have a half a container I bought when I was getting over the flu).

god, that sounds exhausting. And I need to realise it is exhausting - so I will use my ‘spoons’ for food, washing, sleeping, moving. And the work I have to do. That’s going to be it this week.

I’m going to post here to try to keep track. Hopefully it’s just from stress/burnout and I can get back out of the hole with a couple of weeks of care.